The following post was sponsored by Plum Organic's new Do Your Part(ner) campaign.
First off, let me just start by saying that I had very serious plans when writing my first post Do Your Part(new) post two weeks ago. Hal and I had a date night in the books, an agreement to unplug every night at 8pm and do ALL THE THINGS I mentioned in my previous post and I'm just going to be perfectly honest with you guys. None of those things really happened. At least not in the way(s) I envisioned them.
THAT SAID, a lot of romantic couple-y-priority-type things DID happen. And I am POSITIVE they would not have happened had I not made it a priority to be a better partner. (ED: The premise of Plum's Do Your Part(ner) campaign is to encourage couples to make love... a priority, because for many of us, prioritizing "married time" over "family time" isn't even a thing.)
Here was my PLEDGE list two weeks ago vs what actually happened (in red):
-Prioritize alone time, specifically NAKED alone time.
Okay, so this ACTUALLY happened. Naked time was 100% had. And alone time was, too. We made a real effort to get the kids down at an earlier-than-usual time and succeeded... some of the time! But like MOST of the time.
- Plan TWO date nights in two weeks. (The last time we had a date night just the two of us was literally last summer I'm not even kidding. WE ARE THE WORST.)
Okay so this TOTALLY happened. Except they weren't the "go out" type of date nights. They were the "stay in" type of date nights which consist of picking up dinner to-go (or dessert) and eating/drinking said dinner/dessert on the couch while finishing up Season 1 of Atlanta. Officially, we went on THREE of these such dates. And they were all super romantic/didn't cost $17 an hour (which is the going rate of sitters these days smh.)
milkshake for him/root beer float for her*
- Unplug at 8pm every night in order to french kiss underneath the proverbial bleachers.
Thought that counts? How about unplugging at 11pm and reading in bed until we pass out? Because we did that! Most nights, anyway.
- Resistance as foreplay because LITERALLY nothing makes me hotter for my man than political action. LET'S CALL OUR REPS TONIGHT, WANT TO? YEAH. OHHHHH, YEAH. Well, the good news is that AFTER having a complete and total panic attack/meltdown, Hal and I totally spooned and sang "this land is your land" softly in each other's ears until I calmed down. Which... I mean... that's love, man. That's intimacy.
And that's not all... a lot of very romantic #DoYourPartner(esque) things happened in the last two weeks including:
- Flowers and Candles in the bedroom:
Okay so the flowers and candles weren't officially for the bedroom, they were for the Open House. HOWEVER. We also benefited from wiping the dresser clean and replacing piles of clutter with a bouquet of red roses and candles everywhere. Because feeling like you're living in a Guns N Roses video is CLEARLY an aphrodisiac. (I used to ALWAYS put flowers in our bedroom. Candles, too. And then... for whatever reason... I forgot that flowers and candles were nice things to have in bedrooms?) Anyway. The flowers and the candles ARE BACK! And they're here to stay! Even during CLOSED houses.
- Spontaneous Road Trip:
When Hal and I first met, we were ALL ABOUT packing our bags and getting in the car with zero plans re: where we would end up. AND SO. Over the weekend, we decided to go for a drive...
And, yeah, we had four kids with us but STILL! We had no idea where we would end up! (Spoiler alert: We ended up at Kidpsace.) And, yeah, I know what you're thinking: handcrafting DIY "poop" at Kidspace isn't the sexiest, but spontaneity with kids is still spontaneity, you know what I mean? I mean, you get what you get and you don't get upset.
- The purchase of a new (king sized! bomp chicka woo-woo!) bed
OH YES WE DID. The silver lining of selling our house = having a few extra dollars (for THE FIRST TIME IN YEARS) to buy a REAL BED. Like, for adults. Since the day we GOT MARRIED, we have been talking about getting a new bed. (Our bed is literally from the mesozoic period and it's TINY. It's no wonder we have so many kids. We have no choice but to sleep inside each other because we have no room to have our own space. JK. Kind of.) Anyway, after twelve years of marriage, we finally bought ourself a REAL-LIFE KING SIZED BED. AND AN ACTUAL BEDFRAME, TOO. I WILL SHOW IT TO YOU IN SIX WEEKS WHEN IT ARRIVES.) In the meantime, this might be the most romantic gesture we have ever shown one another. Having a queen sized-bed with four kids, two of whom crawl into bed with us nearly every night, (with ten stuffed animals per child) does not a beauty rest make. Not to mention the fact that THIS is currently our bed:
And speaking of sex...
- Sex:
I mean. WE ARE NOT MESSING AROUND when it comes to MESSING AROUND.
"I'd like to thank the 6798 candles I bought at Target for the Open House, red roses, orchids, daisies, our exciting purchase of a king-sized bed, spontaneous road trips, root beer floats to-go, 'this land is your land,' and all of you at home for your support."
Seriously, though.
I have been writing about the ups and downs of my marriage since 2005 and I am extremely grateful for the support and solidarity. Marriage has NEVER been an easy road (for either of us) and I know we're not alone in working our asses off to keep this ship afloat.
How about you guys? Did you take the pledge to Do Your Part(ner) yet? How's it holding up? Comment below with A FULL PROGRESS REPORT (just kidding. You can totally be brief) for a chance to win one of the (2) #DoYourPartner kits Plum and I have left to give away. (All gift boxes include: truffles, a $50 gift card, massage oil, lube, wine glasses, Esther Perel's Mating in Captivity, snacks, snacks and more snacks because #makelovenotsnacks.) Good luck and love to all!
*I don't usually wear (prescription) sunglasses at night it's just that I lost my original glasses and have yet to make time to #SeeMyOptometrist to get a new pair. One of these days I will make time for my eyeballs.
THAT SAID, a lot of romantic couple-y-priority-type things DID happen. And I am POSITIVE they would not have happened had I not made it a priority to be a better partner. (ED: The premise of Plum's Do Your Part(ner) campaign is to encourage couples to make love... a priority, because for many of us, prioritizing "married time" over "family time" isn't even a thing.)
-Prioritize alone time, specifically NAKED alone time.
Okay, so this ACTUALLY happened. Naked time was 100% had. And alone time was, too. We made a real effort to get the kids down at an earlier-than-usual time and succeeded... some of the time! But like MOST of the time.
- Plan TWO date nights in two weeks. (The last time we had a date night just the two of us was literally last summer I'm not even kidding. WE ARE THE WORST.)
Okay so this TOTALLY happened. Except they weren't the "go out" type of date nights. They were the "stay in" type of date nights which consist of picking up dinner to-go (or dessert) and eating/drinking said dinner/dessert on the couch while finishing up Season 1 of Atlanta. Officially, we went on THREE of these such dates. And they were all super romantic/didn't cost $17 an hour (which is the going rate of sitters these days smh.)
milkshake for him/root beer float for her*Thought that counts? How about unplugging at 11pm and reading in bed until we pass out? Because we did that! Most nights, anyway.
- Resistance as foreplay because LITERALLY nothing makes me hotter for my man than political action. LET'S CALL OUR REPS TONIGHT, WANT TO? YEAH. OHHHHH, YEAH. Well, the good news is that AFTER having a complete and total panic attack/meltdown, Hal and I totally spooned and sang "this land is your land" softly in each other's ears until I calmed down. Which... I mean... that's love, man. That's intimacy.
And that's not all... a lot of very romantic #DoYourPartner(esque) things happened in the last two weeks including:
- Flowers and Candles in the bedroom:
Okay so the flowers and candles weren't officially for the bedroom, they were for the Open House. HOWEVER. We also benefited from wiping the dresser clean and replacing piles of clutter with a bouquet of red roses and candles everywhere. Because feeling like you're living in a Guns N Roses video is CLEARLY an aphrodisiac. (I used to ALWAYS put flowers in our bedroom. Candles, too. And then... for whatever reason... I forgot that flowers and candles were nice things to have in bedrooms?) Anyway. The flowers and the candles ARE BACK! And they're here to stay! Even during CLOSED houses.
- Spontaneous Road Trip:
When Hal and I first met, we were ALL ABOUT packing our bags and getting in the car with zero plans re: where we would end up. AND SO. Over the weekend, we decided to go for a drive...
And, yeah, we had four kids with us but STILL! We had no idea where we would end up! (Spoiler alert: We ended up at Kidpsace.) And, yeah, I know what you're thinking: handcrafting DIY "poop" at Kidspace isn't the sexiest, but spontaneity with kids is still spontaneity, you know what I mean? I mean, you get what you get and you don't get upset.
OH YES WE DID. The silver lining of selling our house = having a few extra dollars (for THE FIRST TIME IN YEARS) to buy a REAL BED. Like, for adults. Since the day we GOT MARRIED, we have been talking about getting a new bed. (Our bed is literally from the mesozoic period and it's TINY. It's no wonder we have so many kids. We have no choice but to sleep inside each other because we have no room to have our own space. JK. Kind of.) Anyway, after twelve years of marriage, we finally bought ourself a REAL-LIFE KING SIZED BED. AND AN ACTUAL BEDFRAME, TOO. I WILL SHOW IT TO YOU IN SIX WEEKS WHEN IT ARRIVES.) In the meantime, this might be the most romantic gesture we have ever shown one another. Having a queen sized-bed with four kids, two of whom crawl into bed with us nearly every night, (with ten stuffed animals per child) does not a beauty rest make. Not to mention the fact that THIS is currently our bed:
And speaking of sex... - Sex:
I mean. WE ARE NOT MESSING AROUND when it comes to MESSING AROUND.
"I'd like to thank the 6798 candles I bought at Target for the Open House, red roses, orchids, daisies, our exciting purchase of a king-sized bed, spontaneous road trips, root beer floats to-go, 'this land is your land,' and all of you at home for your support."
Seriously, though.
I have been writing about the ups and downs of my marriage since 2005 and I am extremely grateful for the support and solidarity. Marriage has NEVER been an easy road (for either of us) and I know we're not alone in working our asses off to keep this ship afloat.
How about you guys? Did you take the pledge to Do Your Part(ner) yet? How's it holding up? Comment below with A FULL PROGRESS REPORT (just kidding. You can totally be brief) for a chance to win one of the (2) #DoYourPartner kits Plum and I have left to give away. (All gift boxes include: truffles, a $50 gift card, massage oil, lube, wine glasses, Esther Perel's Mating in Captivity, snacks, snacks and more snacks because #makelovenotsnacks.) Good luck and love to all!
*I don't usually wear (prescription) sunglasses at night it's just that I lost my original glasses and have yet to make time to #SeeMyOptometrist to get a new pair. One of these days I will make time for my eyeballs.
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