what came first, the (baby) or the nest egg?

This week on Mom.me, I'm attempting to tackle the tricky subject of money as it pertains to families, specifically larger families and those looking to start families who don't, say, own a home... have established themselves professionally, etc. 

For those who have been reading since the beginning, you will know that there has been a pretty major evolution since 2005, when I started this blog. We have grown our family, our earnings and everything else since first becoming parents but for many, it is a prerequisite to get married, purchase a home, experience professional success, etc before having a child. Which I also understand. In a city, though, getting to a comfortable place financially takes... a long time. And even then, it's still... not exactly... comfortable? 

Marriage, house, job … the nest egg typically comes before the chicken. It’s just that, for us, we did it backwards.

I was not a very evolved person when I gave birth to my first baby. Hal and I lived in a tiny apartment and hated each other. Not exactly ideal and yet, the beautiful thing about having children before you’re “ready” or “stable” or have money and a job and a house and a dog (Oooh! But I had a dog! I had two dogs in fact!) is that you are in NO way set in your ways. Life is a spontaneous romp at that age (it was for me, anyway) and while it certainly was a rude awakening for me to be rudely awakened by an infant, I was young enough to know … that I knew nothing. (And when I thought I did know more than nothing, I was promptly put in my place by everyone else.)

Hal and I grew our marriage and our careers AFTER having our first child. And from there we became confident that with baby #2 and #3 and #4 we’d be able to do the same.

...Truth be told, it is EXPENSIVE to have four children in a city. But it’s also expensive to have one. And two. It’s expensive to live alone as a single person...

AKA, there is never enough money and there is never enough time and there is never enough of anything ever the end. 

Which is the point of this week's piece and while I CLEARLY come from a privileged place in which to write said post, this is my truth and I feel like it's a conversation worth having, especially for those of you out there who are waiting for the perfect time to make a baby. (It doesn't exist.)

"If you wait too long to have ALL OF THE THINGS you will end up with NONE of the things."

And yes, there is something to be said for making plans and having some order in the court before playing ball, but there is also something to be said for NOT making plans and just, you know, GOING FOR IT. Not that we were GOING for four children... 

But that's just it, right? Plans backfire. They always do! For us, they backfired in the best possible way, of course, but much like my pregnancy with Archer being the "surprise" that solidified everything good in this life, the twins' arrival signified what I had assumed to be the case all along: plans are LOL. In our experience, anyway. 

What do you think? What came first for you, the baby or the nest egg? I look forward to hearing from you/have a great weekend, everyone. 

GGC