Dad Someday

Yesterday, completely out of nowhere, Archer told me that he can't wait to be a dad. He has always been paternal - a natural caretaker, leader... he's antsy when he's not with his sisters and when Hal took him to a Clippers game last week, Archer asked to leave early because he missed "his babies." Because "Fable would have loved this, I wish she was here..."

Girls are expected to be this way - to dote on their dolls, to play house, to pretend to be mommies. For boys, its unexpected. Boys aren't like that the way girls are like that. 

Yes, but some of them are.

Archer has recently become fascinated with parenthood, specifically the ages at which people decide to be parents. There is a twenty year age gap between me and his best friend's dad and it fascinates him. Twenty years is an eternity when you're seven. YEARS feel like decades when you're little. Time moves so slowy it's impossible to wrap one's head around a decade, let alone two.

"When you are his age, I will be twenty-seven years old and I will have two kids like you did, maybe."

"Maybe."

I explain to him that people don't necessarily choose when they want to be parents. Sometimes it just happens. Some people get pregnant on accident or try to get pregnant and can't. Some adopt children and that can take many years as well. Some people decide that they don't want children. There are so many different variables... you'll see. 

He went on to ask how old my parents were when I was born and how old Hal's parents were when he was born and why I decided to have a baby when I was younger than they were.

I told him that I hadn't planned to have a baby. That he was a surprise and I was very scared when I found out I was going to be a mother because I felt like I was still a child.

"I didn't think I was ready for you and then you arrived and you taught me how to be ready."

"I did?"

"Yes. I felt like I was a kid having a kid if that makes sense."

"You still remind me of a kid sometimes. You seem a lot younger than thirty-two."

"That's because I'm thirty one."

"Oh."

"You seem a lot older than seven."

"That's probably because I'm an older brother and I want to be a dad someday."

"You're right, that's probably why."

GGC