Sex, Dancing, Lingerie, Etc (Sponsored + Giveaway)

The following post (and giveaway) is sponsored by Eberjey, home of "the delightful underpinning" aka sexy underthings for lady-people.

"prisoner of love" teddy

I've been skirting the issue of postpartum sexuality only because I've had little to say on the subject until recently. I've spent the last six months feeling terrible about my body and the way I look and admitting that, here, or even to myself, makes me feel shallow and ashamed. Because I'm supposed to love my body! I'm supposed to celebrate these dangerous curves, for I am a fertile power-goddess!

Sabrina Shelf Bra Chemise ("Come hither" look sold separately)

Except, yeah, not that easy. Because, sure "it's what's on the inside the counts" but what's happening on my outside isn't exactly inviting to my insides, hello. (Sad but true.) Adjusting to life after baby, physically, and in the case of this post, sexually is a difficult thing to discuss. Because sex is supposed to be sexy and yet, the postpartum bod isn't exactly a "sexual plaything". Especially when nursing. And healing. (And I'm still SUPER uncomfortable in my lower abdomen, thanks to a super sensitive and itchy C-scar. Blergh.)

Cat's Meow Cami

Anyway, because today's post features some of the sexiest underwear I've ever seen (and am currently wearing because lace assists me in my mission for a reclaimed sexual self) I thought I'd write about some of the ways I've reclaimed my body (and sexuality) these last few weeks... And let me just say, this has been a process. It was a process after my first two pregnancies, of course, but not like this and I don't know if it's the lack of sleep, or fear of pregnancy, but I've spent the majority of the last six months rejecting all things sex and sexy and sexual and sexy sex sex.

I'm only JUST starting to reclaim my drive. Which is a relief because sex is HUGELY important not just to my marriage but to ME. Even if (these days) sex sounds like more of a pain in the ass than a pleasure in the... yeah.

I realized this about a month ago when I was moping around feeling like a complete disaster, feeling sorry for myself and my still pregnant-looking stomach and my maternity leggings and whining to Hal about something obnoxious and "how can you even stand to look at me! How could you possibly WANT this body? It's a trainwreck! I'm a trainwreck and oh god... "

And then BAM, I realized the time had come for me to get a grip. I had wasted far too much time feeling bad about feeling bad about the way I looked, felt. I was constantly apologizing for my lack of sex drive, for not getting dressed some days, for feeling like a grotesque blob of blah blah blahbness.

Apologizing was getting me absolutely nowhere. So? I decided to do things that would make me feel sexy instead of sorry. Those things were/are...

1. Start Shopping: A common misconception (and I had it, too) is to wait until you're back to fighting shape to rock some sexy. I was WRONG. There isn't a time in your life you'll need to go shopping MORE than in the weeks and months after giving birth. Remember the fourth, fifth and sixth trimesters! They deserve a flattering wardrobe as well. Or at least, a few flattering pieces that aren't made of sweatpants.

2. Flirt frequently: I'm sure many of you will disagree with me, here, because everything is considered "cheating" these days but one of the keys to keeping my mariage healthy and exciting is feeling sparky with other people. Men, women, it doesn't even matter. It can be a huge ego boost to know that you still got it. Whether that means, eye contact across a crowded grocery store or a hug that lasts a little longer than usual. Conversing with people about things that aren't baby related, even for a moment, can work some serious magic on the mojo.

3. Start a Pornterest: I realize that porn is controversial around these parts for reasons I completely respect. However. I find sexually explicit materials medicinal in nature, revitalizing to a somewhat lost (meandering?) sex drive. Think Pinterest (Pinmedownterest?) for sex. Great excerpts from erotic books, links to favorite websites, etc. Put them all in a secret place and visit them regularly. With something that vibrates.

4. Make Bathtime so much Fun: Remember when baths were for adults? Yeah. I recently stocked up on lotions and potions and oils aplenty so that I could devote an hour or two a week to just... stewing in a warm pool of water full of luxurious things. It's hard not to feel hot with rose petals sticking to your thighs.

5. Dance, Dance = Revolution: The first time I felt "hot" in months was on a dance floor in Austin and it wasn't (just) because I was sweating profusely in my denim jumpsuit. Something about moving one's body among other moving bodies just does it for me. And not even in a sexual way. I realized, regardless of the way I looked, felt, I still had the moves, you know? I mean, I can MOONWALK, you guys! How could I not feel comfortable in this (slightly sagging) skin? In the words of the poet, Madonna, music makes the people come together. I say turn up the music and rock those moves.

Post-bath.

In a new pair of underwear.

Cleo Bralet and undies = yes please

What are some of your common cures for a the postpartum blahs? What recharges your batts, sparks your fire? I'll choose one commenter at random (via random.org) to win a bra and panty set of your choosing c/o Eberjey. (I'll announce the winner on Monday, April 2nd.) For those looking to do a little shop-shop in the meantime you can use the code GIRLSGONECHILD15 to get 15% off at the eberjey.com register now through April 15th. FYI, They have super cute kids clothes, too.

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UPDATED: Congrats to commenter lucky 13 "Mama D" for winning the bra and panties set! And thanks to all for your candid comments, ideas, advice. I so loved reading these comments. (Very helpful and needed.) You're awesome.

GGC