It always feels anticlimactic, waking up to the first day of a new year. Like the view is supposed to change, the feel of the pillow, a new longing to get out of bed. If only we could move through our lives with the same self-forgiveness we carry these first few days of January, the same hope and hustle. We could all stay up until midnight, kiss and exclaim "Happy New Day!" and then make it one instead of waiting around for the year's change to reset our alarms. This thought occurred to me New Years day when Archer woke up upset we hadn't woken him, as promised, at midnight.
"But we tried! You refused to budge!"
"Can you wake me tonight instead?"
"But it's not New Years Eve anymore, goose. Next year..."
"But that's SO FAR AWAY! I want to celebrate TONIGHT!"
Rewinding to earlier in the week...
...Last week my cousin, Yvette her husband Iban and daughters flew in from Spain where they live outside Pamplona and I got to meet their new baby Mikaela for the first time.
Mikaela was born on the fourth anniversary of her late grandfather's death, Yvette's father, my uncle Pete. She was born at home, days after she was due, her own unique soul full of light and love, stamping LIFE on a date previously reserved for mourning. Life is full of magical coincidences and the poetry of her birth is an exquisite one. Meeting Mikaela was wonderful and watching Archer, Fable with their cousins (second cousins, no first cousins yet) was the highlight of our week.
It was also the first time my Nana was able to be with six of her seven great-grandchildren at once, which she clearly HATED:
We had such a lovely family time and it bums me out considerably that we can't all live next door to one another.
The day after we came back to LA my brother went back to Boston and my sister returns to Ohio tomorrow. Boo hoo/sigh.
And then we came home.
After tucking Archer and Fable in their beds, post east-coast ball-drop feed (that's your new band name), Hal and I gorged ourselves on cheese and chocolate and watched our #1 favorite movie of 2011 (appropriately titled Beginners) before passing out at 1am waking up at 1:02 am with Reverie.
In the morning we toasted with the kids over breakfast, babies-in-laps and started our first annual "Things We'd Like to Accomplish in 2012" list, all of us contributing as many things as we could think of that we'd like to make happen for ourselves and each other in the coming year.
Some of Archer's goals: Go somewhere we've never been before, learn to be a better swimmer, cuddle on the couch as a family and watch Madagascar.
Fable had three goals for 2012:
1. Play with Archer.
2. Play with Boheme and Reverie
3. Play with friends.
So far she's three for three and it's only the third. Nice work, Fable!
Hal's goal was to play more piano, mine was to read more books and together our biggest goal for 2012: buy a house.
We spent the last three days putting together lists of homes, stalking short sales, emailing links back and forth with our agent and starting this week I'll be touring homes as a potential BUYER. Um, what? (When I close my eyes, I'm still twelve years old so JUST LOOKING at potential properties to "own" feels surreal.)
So here we go. Whether it's a Steve or a Stefan or a Stephanie, our house is out there and we're going to find it. And if it's meant to be, we'll buy. If it isn't? We'll continue to rent. In the meantime (and by meantime, I mean "last three days") I've become so addicted to real estate sites that I haven't been able to sleep.
Real estate sites are rabbit holes. Your search begins with a modest three-bedroom short sale and an hour later, lands you on a squillion dollar dreamhouse with ivy framing stained-glass windows and a koi pond that whistles dixie. And then by the time the day has ended you're trying to calculate how you could make the dreamhouse happen by, you know, taking on a few hundred more jobs, selling a kidney, etc, which seems COMPLETELY sane in your head. Like falling in love with a celebrity and thinking if you wore the right dress and showed up at his door, that Owen Wilson would totally love you back. (I spent many a year obsessed with Owen Wilson. OBSESSED. Don't laugh.)
This is why we're hunting for a Steve, not an Owen. But YOU GUYS, there are some serious Owens out there, holy Wilson.
***
Yesterday at Trader Joes a "nice" old man pointed to my stomach and asked me when I was expecting.
"Never again," I told him.
I wish I could say this was the first (or even the second) time this has happened but alas, every other week I am congratulated on my non-existent pregnancy.
Funny story: When I was discharged from the hospital and shlepping back and forth to the NICU twice a day, EVERY SINGLE TIME I passed the security guard in the front entrance with my cooler full of pumped breast milk, waddling and cringing from my healing incision, dude would stand up from his stool and say: "Congratulations! Looks like it's time!"
At first I corrected him. "Nope. I already gave birth last week. Just... you know... still looking pregnant, walking weird because I just had major abdominal surgery."
The security guard apologized and then three hours later, when I returned, congratulated me again. "It's go time! Girl or boy?" This went on for days.
By day three I just went along with it.
"Congratulations! Baby time!"
"Congratulations! You're a complete idiot! Thank you! Which way to labor and delivery!!??"
Anyway. After the Trader joes incident I had Hal take a picture of my fifteen-weeks post-partum baby bump so I could share what a postpartum belly often looks like, a little pregnantish:
LET THIS BE A LESSON TO EVERYONE: DON'T EVER COMMENT ON A WOMAN'S PREGNANT BELLY UNLESS THERE IS A BABY HEAD CROWNING FROM HER VADGE. Because some girls are bigger than others. Some girls are bigger than others. Some girls' mothers are bigger than other girls' mothers.
and the award for most awkward picture ever goes to...
GGC
74 comments:
Wow. What an awesome post. I started oohing and aahing through the family fun. The pic of your Nana holding Bo and Rev and surrounded by her greats made me tear up so much. How much joy can be contained in one picture?
And then I kept reading and laughed and nodded and laughed and laughed and laughed.
I love your writing!
Oh Rebecca...I have been reading your blog for the last 2 years or so and I have never had the guts to "comment". But after this post, I can't hold back! I am also the mother of a 3 year old and 4.5 month old twin girls (we went through a twins' pregnancy together-haha). So much of what you share is eerily connected to what I am currently experiencing, and I feel so connected to what you share about your life experiences and your amazing and beautiful family. Just as I was sitting here feeling as if I was the ONLY woman alive to have birthed twins and still feel/look pregnant, you made me laugh and sheepishly sigh at the reality of our bellies. You truly bring joy to my day...thanks for having the courage to write and put it out there so gracefully and truthfully.
"We had such a lovely family time and it bums me out considerably that we can't all live next door to one another." I know exactly how you feel!!
If it wasn't full of precious precious breastmilk I would have been tempted to swing that cooler at the security guy's head come day three.
Despite all the pilates I'm still rockin my 26 weeks postpartum belly. I'm coming to terms with it (since I seem to be among those that CAN NOT loose weight until after breastfeeding) especially since now the six month old likes playing drums on it - it helps foster a love a music. ENRICHMENT, FTW!
Love LOVE your honesty and authenticity. And gorgeous family. So dear.
I'm only now starting to get a flatter tummy, 8 months after #2 was born - despite being a breastfeeding machine, and working out too. I know you know this, but it just takes time. You look great now but will be back to your even more svelte self in 2012, no doubt about that!
I seriously laughed aloud at my desk right now upon viewing your most awkward picture of the year.
It looks like Fable just plopped outta your nether regions.
Babies everywherrrrrre!!
Great idea on the accomplishment list. I'm not a believer in New Year resolutions, but I am a big believer in dreaming big and small.
Oh I can relate too, now with my 14 weeks post delivery belly. Love your humor! Being able to laugh at oneself is such an important thing :)
I just love you. You are hilarious!
LOVE your writing! You make me say awww and get teary and then I laugh LOL :)
Love the picture of your Nana w/ the 6 greats... that's amazing!
You look amazingly beautiful... has anyone ever told you you look like Zooey Deschanel??? I think you absolutely do! :)
Here's to hoping you find your dream home, and I'm sure whatever HOUSE you find you will make it a HOME with your beautiful children x4
I will sometimes tell Sammie (my daughter) when she pushes on my "big soft fat tummy" that it's so big and soft and fat because people used to live in there. And she giggles and says, "Me and Max!" And Max protests that he ever lived there. (He's 2.)
So, you used to be a frickin' apartment, a goddess life creator, as opposed to a teenage stick figure with mere organs inside. I occasionally look down two 1/2 years after the last baby and say, OMG, could I be pregnant? And realize, no silly, you have your period, so probably not. Just squishy.
(A little kid at Sunday school once asked my 70 year old grandfather when he was going to have his baby. Ever a Marine, Col. W --not what we called him-- was very indignant. I laugh every time I think of it.)
oh man. I completely feel you on the getting pregnancy comments post partum. I took my ONE WEEK (at the time) old son to the hospital last week to have his bili levels checked and some crazy guy in the elevator said "are you pregnant again?!" yes. I have a one week old and I am already so pregnant I am starting to show. Idiot.
one the one hand, i'm so glad i didn't take many pictures back in the day after the girls were born. on the other, i wish i could commiserate with you. i was there, had 2 more & now i'm fitter than ever. you look fucking fabulous.
good luck with steve.
I must have lost track somewhere, I thought your sister lived in California. Bummer.
Love all the pics :)
After the post partum belly shot you could have posted the last photo you took of you pregnant with Boheme and Reverie, just for a little comparison on how far you've come! Looking good sista.
I laughed. I cried. I cheered you on. All in one post?! Craziness!
Awesomeness! I have friends with brand new babies in a stroller who have been asked when they are due! My mom told me that a contractor who came to fix their washing machine asked her when she was due last month. She just burst out laughing and said, "No, I'm just fat. But I'm happy you think I'm young enough to have kids." Maybe you need to print a photo of the twins on a T-shirt and have it read, "The only babies on board are on this shirt."
Thank you for your postpartum honesty. Is it ok I am still postpartum -ish 18 mo later? The 3rd section just destroyed my middle. Sigh. Good luck on stefano!!
Your Nana's expression is completely priceless! We should all smile so big and so happily when we are surrounded by our family!
That photo = all kinds of hilarious. So great that you can have a sense of humor about postpartum belly because so many women do not. So, yes, peeps need to watch what they say to the potentially pregnant/postpartum. I'm just happy that it isn't bikini season because aside from being squishy and flabby, I still have that lovely dark line down the center of my belly that somehow gets darker when it's not all spread out.
You. Are awesome. As a mom that is probably bigger than that other mom, and as a mom that is still some days looking a bit preggish 18 months after the fact, I laughed out loud and thought: Wow, she is just such a lovely woman. You made me so happy just then. Huh. I'm seriously still harharring (is that a word?). Here's to me getting back to that illusive pre-baby(ies) 140 lb. It should only take another 18 months, I'd guess. That's what they say, right? Nine months on, 36 months off? RIGHT?
I want to be like your grandmother when I grow up. What a beautiful smile! She radiates happiness and all that is good.
There are wonderful women in your family!
Being a mother is obviously bringing you into your own. You seem to have evolved alot in recent years, your writing is deeper and more reflective.
You're living the dream, basically.
Thank you for being so honest about your postpartum belly. If only I could have posed for a photo, I just cried bitter tears and despaired of ever recovering my figure. You'll make it, you'll see!
I'm not sure which is worse...receiving the mistaken pregnancy comments or the comforting I have to give to people who make the error.....double whammy!
Happy New year!...and a flatter midsection to all who so desire it!
LOL. Loving this blog post. My 5 year old is constantl;y asking me what is in my belly "is it s baby mumma", "is it your lunch mumma", "hee hee hee mumma", and my baby is 21 months old!
Rebecca, Thank you for always being so honest about your belly! :) It makes all of us other people with normal bellies secure in our normalness.
Aubrey
I seriously think you look super hot and seeing as I am a bajillion (28) months post-partem and still haven't lost the last 5 (10) pounds clinging to my 5'2" frame, I feel you are entirely entitled to have the tiniest of baby bellies.
I love your blog. I know I'm late, but you are awesome. Seriously, you rock!
Ugh, baby body comments. I'm 5 1/2 months and got my first "sure there's not two in there" comment today (there's just one). This was oh so common in my first pregnancy. Working on witty, feminist response whole shame spiraling is not working..yet.
Oh my - I'm laughing so hard I have tears. Actual tears. Girl, I'm so there with you. Sadly, my "baby" is now 13 months so I really think the pooch should be gone by now. My pooch (or God or universal karma or something) clearly doesn't agree.
HOWEVER. I will say that the first pic of yo'self in this article had me thinking, "Wow! Has GGC always looked this crazy-hot? Holy crap pink lipstick, I love you!!"
So there you go.
I love your blog! I had twin girls a week after you. Same situation! I still look pregnant....hopefully things will change soon.
THANK YOU!!!! For everything in this post - especially showing your 15 wk post-partum belly. After the C-section birth of my twin boys I seriously thought I would NEVER EVER feel normal again. It's been 2.5 years and things are much much better although I've given up on a flat stomach. Whatevs.
xoxo
cortnie
You had me laughing in stitches when you wrote about the hospital security guard!
Totally agree about not commenting on a "pregnant" belly. This happened at work when one of my colleagues assumed that the other lady was pregnant and asked her how far along she was. The lady turned so red and flatly said, "Um, excuse me? I am not pregnant." My colleague wanted to disappear into thin air right there.
We watched Begginers on New Year's Eve, too. In fact we were in the grips of the last 10 minutes as the clock ticked passed midnight. Beautiful. Hope this year brings all that you all desire.
Your grandmother's face made me burst into tears!
I also have 3 month old twin girls (born on Sept 16th!) and my belly looks exactly the same.
I had all four of my girls (yes, I have four girls-4y,2y, and the twins) out one day. A lady was oodling over my babies then commented I must be hoping for a boy ths time around. I said I'm not expecting and we probably wont be having anymore. She felt like an idiot.
I have been looking for a house for months too. I have found that Movoto has the most current listings. If you find a house on other sites, run the mls number on Movoto to see if it is still current. If it isn't on there, then it is sold. I would alway check Movoto for the new listings and then email my real estate lady to see them. They were always still active. I would stay away from short sales. Those take months to get an answer on and a lot of times the bank says No. After looking at tons of used houses, I am going to go buy a new one. I put on a bid on a repo house and then saw the list of things wrong with it and then backed out of the deal. There was too much wrong with the house.Also when you do make an offer, tell them to pay all your closing costs. That can cost a lot of money.
Fable is the cutest poop I've ever seen! Happy New Year!
We've been using this site and it's given us a lot of help. It's bank owned properties before they go to auction. So, you can tour them just like a regular house but get them for a steal. Wells Fargo and Fannie Mae seem to have the most inventory as well as the easiest to use site. Good luck finding Steve! http://qna.mortgagenewsdaily.com/questions/bank-owned-reo-database-lists
I loved this post. SO many things to comment on...
The pics with your Nana are just beautiful. I love her, and I don't even know her. You are so lucky to be surrounded by so many wise women (WWW included).
Your sister's hair is fucking awesome. She owns those curls. (As a curly girl myself, I have mad respect for that.)
That belly? Oh, I feel your frustration. I'm now seven months postpartum and just now FINALLY looking non-pregnant. I know you know this, but one day, when you're not even paying attention, that belly will suddenly vanish. In the meantime, you still look totally hot, so don't even worry about it. :)
I love this post! It made me miss my Grandma a lot.
Do you have anymore fashion advise for post-Giant Viking Baby delivery bodies? GVB is now 3.5 months old and I look like I'm about to hit my 2nd trimester. Ugh... of course it didn't help that I pigged out like someone who pigs out a lot over the holidays.
Your "fifteen-weeks post-partum baby bump" looks a LOT like my sixteen week baby bump looks right now.
Which means you shrunk a lot in the last fifteen weeks, you definitely don't look like giving birth any second anymore...
Maybe this is weird, but I think your little (I do mean LITTLE) post-partum belly is adorable.
I couldn't stop laughing about the don't comment unless you see the baby's head crowning. I met an OB/mom of two at a party once when I was 20wks pregnant with #2 and she said the same thing to me: unless I see an u/s or a head coming out, I assume nothing. But when I got "when you due"? I reminded myself how much I desperately wanted someone to notice I was pregnant the first time around, when no one would comment until I was like 41wks, that maybe this was just the universe's way of slowly getting around to my wish:)
i dunno what it is, but this is the best post ever.
and that picture of your nana and the kids...oh gosh. tears.
Rebecca! You literally just blew my mind with The Smiths lyrics. I'd been listening to The Queen Is Dead all weekend. Love it, and love you!
Love! I think it is a universal post-preg rule that at least SOMEONE has to ask you when you are due... AFTER you have given birth. For me, it was my old boss! We still worked in the same office, and after I came back from maternity leave he asked me "So when are you due again?" ASS!!!111
Love it all. Please ask your sis to share the secret to her awesome curls. Those girls of yours are lucky to have such awesome ladies to aspire to.
Great post w/ beautiful shots! I feel your pain re: not being closer to fam with their kids. All of my family lives far away and theres a huge baby boom right now. Totally bums me out that my kids won't spend as much time with their 2nd cousins as I did with my cousins. ;)
I love that your Nana has on red lipstick and looks so ladylike in every photo. Must be something they taught back then about how to look awesome.
Also, I am EIGHT MONTHS post birth with ONE baby, and I have been congratulated even though I lost the baby weight. It's the curse of C-sections for me...every time, just a little more saggy right there on the scarline.
Love this post. Also, you make beautiful kids!
It could be worse. Your 8 and 4 YO kids could have bought you a maternity dress for Christmas....just as you're entering perimenopause.
Yep. I'm never gonna let them forget that one.
You are a gem, GGC! Don't ever stop writing!
I LOVE THE SMITHS!!!!!!
You are uber fantastic! I am gearing towards having kids in the next year and yours is my favorite blog to read to get prepared for what I'm in for. Thank you for your honesty, your candor, and your sense of humor. It is cherished over here!
any post that includes beautiful momnet and the smiths is a hit in my book!
I used to feel the same way about Jason Lee. Well, Bankey Edwards.
omg, I had soooo many of those moments post the birth of the twins. From a crazy (really) woman at Georgetown Hospital telling me that the twins in their car seats (waiting w. me for hubby to drive up) that they weren't mine b/c I was still pregnant, to a woman asking me if she could help me with the twins (3 mos later) because, poor dear, I was expecting too. DON'T DESPAIR!! The belly goes away (I do have some twin skin) and I am thinner than pre-twins, it does take time but the body is an AMAZING thing. Love your writing and the pics of your beautiful family. Happy New Year! Lisa
I'm 6 weeks postpartum with twins, and have had quite a few people say the same to me! I was at my local CVS last week, and the guy who hit on me all summer (to my surprise, as I was HUGELY pregnant with twins) forgot who I was and said "I didn't know you had a bun in the oven". He walked away before I could say "Yes you did. You knew I had two buns in my oven I saw you all summer long as I was buying heartburn and hemorrhoid medications". Thank you for posting the picture of your belly, neither of us are alone!
I just LOL'd so hard at the song quote. First time commenter, long time lurker.
L
O
L
Oh, Rebecca, you make me laugh! Where I scan through many of the blogs I read, I always slowly relish yours. You're such a talented writer, and your photos are so honest
Thanks for being you!
p.s. You Nana looks so cool. I feel like we could be great friends.
We just got back from a 900 mile one way trip to Texas for a family Christmas. There were 21 at various tables, and I actually introduced myself to someone as "I'm your wife's cousin's wife".
Great pictures. Love your honesty and humor. Found you through Babble.com.
The look on your Nana's face filled my heart. Sheer joy. I kinda want to tack it up over my desk.
(and after only two kids, not twins, and um, my youngest is 4, your belly looks like mine after an enchilada.)
hahaha oh my god when I went for my 6 week check up- 6 week old baby in hand- i was actually asked "wow you're having another one so soon?" !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I come by here all the time and usually don't comment. But I just had to say (although all your pics are gorgeous) the 3rd one with your Nana on the steps holding the twins and laughing with all the little ones around her brought happy tears to my eyes. THAT is such a beautiful pic...
I know a couple other comments were similar. I'm sorry..not trying to grab them...but it really was a beautiful pic
I don't even know where to start.
I just found you, and now I love you. Is that awkward???
We just watched Beginners last night and my soul is still stinging from it, my eyes still seeing one image after another, my heart still twinging with a mix of melancholy and love.
Oh and gracious...after #1 was born I got asked all.the.time. when I was due. And then with #2 the classic "Are you having TWINS????" And then with #3 "You must be due any day now..." when I have 4 months left. Thanks folks. Thanks.
Good day, thanks for sharing!
It sounds cruel, but I'm happy to see I"m not the only one post-twins that still looks pregnant. ;) 2 years later-eeps! I've come to the conclusion a tummy tuck might be the only thing that saves me, but since it's not covered by our medical..that's not happening. And who would want to go through recovery from ANOTHER abdominal surgery??? not me!
Way to drop the Smiths in there, I love you greatly for this. Also, great post!
Thanks for keeping it real, Rebecca! Heehee.
I love that picture of your grandmother. She looks so overflowing with joy! And Boh and Rev are so cute--just taking it all in.
I did not have twins. I had an itty bitty 6 pound boy, 3 days before you had the beauties. I still FEEL PREGNANT, and fuck all if I don't still look it. You clearly have far better manners and are generally a better person than I am, because three days ago when someone dared to ask me when I was due, I blatantly and wildly gestured to the car seat in the shopping cart containing my now babbling infant and shouted "ARE YOU FRIGGIN BLIND?!" at them.
hahaha, oh LORD, that picture. But I feel you on the house hunting! Only, I'm job hunting--but it's the same thing.
Happy hunting, lady!
i wish there was a "like button" because i like this post.
you are lovely.
happy new year.
sarah gray
Just saw you made it to #1 and I had to check it out. I love your honesty because I think that we are all feeling this way whether we are 1 month PP or 2 years. I will be visiting your blog again. You had me at "vadge". However, I always imagined it as "vag". It made me laugh anyway! Thanks.
What a lovely pic with your Nana! I am far away from my siblings and family, and it just made me tear up. And perfect moments totaly make me cry.
I gave birth on 12/25, and was just told yesterday that I looked so cute with 'that big baby bellay!' Uh. Yeah. Thanks.
Oh my god, thank you so much for that belly picture. I`m 14 weeks post-c-section and for real all I can fit into is maternity clothes. I was beginning to think it was just me.
Thanks so much for posting about people commenting on your "pregnancy." Yesterday, I left the house for the first non-doctor visit time since having my daughter a week ago. I felt human and even put on a jacket. And the clerk at the burrito place asked me when I was due. I said, "I just had her" and pointed to the carseat, which strikes me as kind of funny now, like I delivered while I was waiting for my veggie nachos.
Post a Comment