ED: Over the weekend I bought some books on "multiples pregnancies" and learned that I am supposed to consume ONE THOUSAND extra calories daily which made me feel terrible (see! this is why I hate pregnancy books!) because there's no fucking way. I mean... if my body is telling me NOT to eat, what am I supposed to do, force feed myself grilled cheese sandwiches?
The answer is yes, apparently so.
Anyway. Here is my bump:
And here is a better picture so you can REALLY see that it is indeed slowly growing. I think.
I want to thank all of you again for your kindness and support and to the twin moms who have contacted me with information, THANK YOU. I feel totally overwhelmed by all that this pregnancy is and means and differs from my last two. And even though I'm getting excited to grow these babes and someday meet them, I feel in many ways alone, and overwhelmed by how we'll afford/have the time to take care of all these children. I don't have any friends in LA with three kids, let alone four, so in a way I feel a little like I did when I was pregnant with Archer - like I'm veering into no man's land, here, in my soon-to-be Winnebago of a bod. (I told Hal we're going to have to either convert to Mormonism or become Orthodox Jews to make friends because who the hell is going to invite us anywhere with all these children?)
The other night we were discussing how two babies end up in one mommy. Archer believes that when people die they immediately become babies in a mommy's stomach. That two people must have died at the same time and that's why I'm pregnant with twins. And then he told me to tell my "baby doctor" that when HE dies he'd like to go straight into my tummy again because "I love this family and want to live in this life again."
Every time I feel an inkling of fear of the future, I think of Archer and his words, always wise and kind and comforting and I think, whatever if no one invites us anywhere, or if we'll never be able afford to take a family African Safari or send the kids to out of state colleges... we got, we got love.
GGC
121 comments:
you look so fabulous. and i'm sure it'll be fine! chris jordan of notesfromthetrenches isn't mormon or jewish... and lives in austin, where kids usually run in threes at most, and she's got SEVEN OF THEM.
so... my feeling is you can just look at anybody giving you that "you have HOW many kids" look and give them "and mine are SOOO much cuter than yours" right back.
your 'bump' is smaller than my no preg tummy now.
Archer is unbelievably awesome. And so are you.
And you have at least one wise soul on your hands. Archer's words moved me to tears today. Give that man-child a big kiss from Ohio for me. And then have some milkshakes for those babies. Always worked for me:)
Love is all you need.
Oh, and a mini-van. x
Archer is such a wonderful old soul in a little guy. What a blessing he is to have. From the mouths of babes...
you gots a belly!!!! shucks it's so cute!!!!!
just remember how insanely beautiful and amazing your new babes will be - just as Archer and Fable are
*hugz*
so happy for you!
Archer is the coolest kid ever. Seriously. I hope the little one I'm growing now turns out that amazing.
You know, I think it's okay to grieve for your family of three, in a way. It would have been a different adventure, a more subtle step out of the norm of SoCal family size, out of the realm of your current financial outlook, out of your current comfort zone. Four's going to be a very different step, a total crazy adventure, a radical move of the kind you've already shown you're good at. So I think you'll have fun riding this wave, but seriously, give yourself time to lay to rest that imagined family of three you've been dreaming about. Then you'll have room to imagine your new fun, full dinner table of faces.
Oh...you look fab! And you will rock the twin belly no problem :-)
Archer is a WISE little boy and his words brought a tear to my eye.
Good job mama!
Archer's words made me tear up. *Sniff*. That and the "Perhaps they are not stars..." poem gets me every time.
Ok, need to distract myself before my mascara starts running...
Great post, as usual. Although I can't relate to having four children (we've only got the one, in utero), I think the feelings of being overwhelmed and worrying about the future go to show what a loving and wonderful mother you are.
In any event, I am so excited for you and your family and to read about your journey. Archer has already shown how awesome he is at being the big brother, and I just know Fable will be covering those little babes with kisses. You have so much love.
See? And there you go making my uterus all crawl out of my body looking for some fertilization.
What a beautiful, wonderful, exciting adventure you (and your family) are embarking on. Mazel tov!
And I forgot to say -- you'll totally find friends to hang with. If I had friends with four kids, I would invite them all over for spaghetti and arts & crafts. It would be awesome!
wow, skinny chick! you rock that tiny bump and then laugh when you look back on it about 7 months from now, okay? : ) I'm pregnant right now, too (though not w/twins), and your comment re: calories cracked me up, because I've got the opposite problem. I feel like I could eat a house at all times, and yet "the books" say I'm supposed to eat only 300 more calories a day. Yikes.
Also had to laugh about your mormonism comment, because I'm pregnant w/my third and slowly realizing that maybe I've immersed myself too far into the mormon mommy blogger world, because 3 kids seems totally normal to me, a small family by their standards. And yet, in my "real" life, all of my coworkers and neighbors and friends are just looking at me in shock going, "Was this planned?!" (Because in their minds, I guess I'd be crazy to have intentionally gone for a third? Which we did.) It's all good. 4 kids is gonna be great for your family.
You have two children already so you know not to pay too close attention to "the books." You'll eat when you're ready to eat.
(I don't think I ate more when I was pregnant with twins than with my two others)
Anyway, that belly, whoa, it's going to be awesome.
You've made me so nostalgic for my own twin pregnancy that I dug out the photo albums last week and found pictures of the tummy. Someone told me it looked like I was hiding a dump truck inside. It was that amazing.
You will amaze yourself with yourself. And your readers.
I live in the city where four-children families are unusual and I often feel like we're a traveling circus (2yo, 4yo twins, 6yo). Or a mother duck leading a line of ducklings through the crosswalk.
But I've been thinking of you trailing after your tribe, snapping photos the whole time and how adorable it's going to be.
We're going to go without things too. But the love, the NOISE, it makes life rich.
Holy Crap-a-mundo I hadn't checked in since March 8th and when I do....TWINS! Love that we are all going on the ride with you. Congrats. If there is anyone who can handle this with grace, humor, love and writing that carries us all along, it is you. Happy for all of you!
I want four kids, currently I have one and am trying for #2...so I will definetly be studying your blog to see how you navigate it because you are definetly the one I want to emulate! Maybe I should have twins too because 1000 extra calories was no prob at all for me when I was pregnant! Ice cream and rich italian dinners all over the place, especially since I wasn't working at the time so I had all day to eat/grocery shop/menu plan/watch tv! But that didn't kick in until about 20 weeks along...first trimester I lost about 17 lbs because I could not eat either. I am sure you'll figure out a way to do what you need to do and be healthy.
Archer just melts me! His theory of "life after death" is my favorite that I have ever heard and I am considering adopting it as my own. He is precious.
I am so excited for you.So much so, that I told my husband all about you guys and I think he was looking at me like, 'My wife needs real friends. Blogging is weird.' You are going to get SO much advice from everyone so I've deleted five comments I almost wrote you...I won't offer advice, just support! As a Mom of 2 year old twins I have to say this, a few of the twin/multiples books I read freaked me out. Like, seriously convinced me that I wouldn't be able to breastfeed and my babies had a 99% chance of being born and heading straight to the NICU. Although it's good to be prepared, don't let any scary things like that get you down. My babies were born healthy and came home with me. And I was fortunate enough to breastfeed both of them (I'm all for formula too, just sayin' if you decide to nurse the babes don't be discouraged). Yes it's going to be hard, but you guys have the best attitude! Because it is the coolest thing ever. I'm tearing up writing this because I am so stinking excited for you. Our circumstances of having twins is different, but I just wanted to share my support and say yay for week 9! And don't get scared if you read freaky things. Because the good is so much better than any of the 'what ifs.'
But Rebecca, you've been a mother of four for yonks... http://www.babble.com/CS/blogs/straightfromthebottle/archive/2010/08/12/mother-of-four.aspx
You'll be a star.
Personally, as a Mormon myself, we'd LOVE to have you :) You and Hal would certainly spice things up at our typically lame meetings!
1000 calories?!? i was told to eat the equivalent of an extra peanut butter sandwich, which doesn't sound quite so daunting as A THOUSAND FREAKING CALORIES!
we joke about either going whole hog orthodox (from our reform jew-nostic blend) or mormon b/c of our fam of 6. i was 31 when we had #4 and only have 2 mormon friends who have 4 kids. everyone thought we were crazy, but i couldn't imagine our lives w/o miss james. she is a sparkler.
having people to our house is the way to go. that way, we have beds available & ready as soon as they fall apart & we don't have to leave. plus, we don't have to invade someone else's territory.
i wanna big you a big gigantic hug right now. kisses to you all. you will rock 4 like you did 1 & 2.
also? archer is ridic. sigh.
I'm relatively new to your blog but I've been loving all of your posts and especially this new baby adventure you are embarking on. I don't know how bringing home twins might differ from bringing home a single baby, but I have no doubt that those little babies will multiply the love and sweetness in your home manyfold! I do see a baby bump BTW, you're looking beautiful. Blessings to you and your family.
That's crazy! Whatever book told you 1000 calories is insane. I'm pregnant with one baby and my nutritionist said that there is no need to eat anymore calories that before pregnancy until the third trimester, and then it only increases by 300 calories. My doctor and several pamphlets I've seen said the same thing. With one baby, ideally we should gain 25 pounds and ideally up to 50 with twins so I can't imagine there can be a difference of 1000 calories in the first six months and 700 in the last three between one baby and two. Every professional I've talked to has said to do your best with food in the beginning and your body will take care of the rest. I was really sick in the beginning and ended up losing weight. I didn't want food and/or could tolerate it for a good 4-5 months and then all of the sudden I got my appetite back in a big way. I gained 8 pounds one month and 6 the next and am now back to where I'm supposed to be. Eat when/what you can and your body will get what it needs from your stores if it doesn't get it all from what you're eating. I can't believe that a body would purposely "reject" food if it was really essential for the baby that day. You'll be fine! Just give yourself a break in the calories area because your body knows what it's doing. Also, I'm a twin and I know it was sometimes hard on my mom (my parents were also surprised with my sister when we were barely two), but I ADORE my brother and cannot possibly not having my friend/playmate with me continuously throughout my early life. I'm SOOO excited for your twins to have each other and for you to have them!
I can't get over my excitement for you! I have been reading your blog since I was pregnant with my twins (now almost 2). I had the same eating problem when I was pregnant with them, my theory is that they take up so much room that your stomach has no space left so you feel full all the time! My technique was to add protein powder to everything, yogurt, pancakes, ice cream, soy milk, etc. It really helps bump up your calories, and adds to your recommended protein intake, which is BEYOND daunting! I think it worked, my boys were born at almost 37 weeks and were 6lbs each (average twin birth weight is 5lbs). Good luck!! You will rock it!
AWWWW. Sweet Archer! What a wondermous boy he is!
I remember seeing lots of big families at Self Realization Fellowship Lake Shrine the few times I went to services there. Anyway, I'd have your family over in a heartbeat if you didn't live so derned far away!
You guys are awesome, and Archer must be some kind of great spiritual teacher. For real.
And as for forcing yourself to eat - however many calories it's supposed to be - I'd say don't do it. Eat what appeals to you...and maybe start adding extra avocado to things.
~ Noelle
Beautiful little baby bump you got going there! Don't worry about force feeding yourself. My mom didn't even know for sure she was having twins until she was 7 months along (though she had her suspicions eventually), so she didn't get any eating-for-3 pressure from anyone. My sister and I were born 6 pounds+ each.
Archer is such a soulful guy. I know he and Fable are going to make awesome big siblings to the two new littles on the way.
YAYYYYYYYYYYYYY pictures!! :-)
you look great!
i wasn't eating anything during my first trimester, and my dr told me not to worry because the 500 calories (singleton) more a day was really only important for the 2nd and 3rd trimesters, especially the 3rd (and you will feel hungry by then!). i would think it's the same for twins...
My last pregnancy was very complicated, but thankfully resulted in a very happy and healthy bub. Some of the concerns were that she wasn't getting enough nourishment and wouldn't grow. I asked what I should be eating and I was told it didn't matter. There is no medical reason to force feed yourself or gain particular amounts of weight. Don't worry about the 1000 cal.
I'm so thankful that you are sharing your experiences. I'm pretty sure I want a third baby, but I'm worried about how difficult it will be. Plus I'm kind of convinced I'll end up with twins too. I'm already aware that when I take 2 little kids to people's houses we can seem like a crowd.
But despite all the scariness, it really isn't that bad. Yeah it will be hard work, but not the end of the world.
I'm sad that I'm on the other side of the world, because I'd definitely have you over for crazy, huge playdates and send you home with tupperware full of food. But since I'd do that, I'm sure the people who actually know you will too!
Oh, I just love that boy! He's been saying the wisest things since forever.
You (& your gaggle of children) are always welcome at my place! Heck, bring the dogs too!
Again, so stinking excited for you!
I'm Mormon so I had to laugh at your comment- we do have big families (even more so in Utah, where I live). You just need to befriend some bigger families so you don't feel as weird (not necessarily convert to a religion, ha ha!) Maybe there's a like a families multiples group that you could join? You're going to rock the mom of four thing, even if it blows your mind. :)
Rebecca, you're an amazing mother for having raised such an amazing boy. He is wise and kind beyond his years and I can't say that about any other kid I've ever met. Thank goodness for mothers like you.
I hope this isn't too weird but I wish I were one of those twins so you could be my mom, Archer could be my brother, your mom could be my grandma, and I could be constantly surrounded by the rest of your amazing family. These twins don't know how lucky they are!
WOW, I was a couple days behind on my blog reading. WOW! Congratulations, that is so cool that you will be having twins. I'm so excited for you and your family. Can't wait to read all about your future adventures...
wow twins!! this is sooo amazing! congrats to you and your family - you'll be great, there are always moments of fear, and doubt its natural...you'll get past them..
thinking positive thoughts - of a heathly preg!
Tomorrow morning, my grandfather who is suffering from pulmonary fibrosis would like to be removed from his oxygen. This means, within hours, he'll pass away. They will lower the oxygen, and up his drugs, and he'll pass peacefully away in a beautiful slumber. While I believe in a heaven, an afterlife much greater than this life...Archer's words opened my mind to possibility and eternal life. I was moved to tears at the thought that a baby born on the second floor could be the soul of my grandfather who has passed away on the fourth floor. Thank you for sharing that. Thank you.
i am soooo late in the game but congrats and omg! and all of that stuff. you look stunning.
And lots of it!! You guys got the love. Archer needs to write a book! :)
Your bump is super cute!! And definitely a bump. With your recent aversion to food - those are definitely two human beings!
xo
You look awesome!! Your time to chow will soon come. And your son? He is easily in line to be the next Dalai Lama. He's AMAZING!! You guys are going to be all right!!
I like to think that BOTH my girls (twins) wanted me as a mother since I'm an awesome and popular mother:-) They started to fight right there I guess. I read mormon mommy blogs too! Nienie and Design mom, and another mother of six Melissa Wiley. They see each baby as a blessing and a joy and this is what I need sometimes. I agree there is no good books on twins that I know, maybe that little chapter in the ''Baby whisperer''. I needed a lot of proteins during my pregnancy and took it really easy, I barely lifted anything. Don't worry about invitations, we love to have friends over when they bring their children so we don't see our children for the evening! People can invite you before the babies are mobile:-) We flew to Europe as a family of 6 but now that the twins will be two I'll admit to being afraid. Next year will be better when they will be three!
You have raised such an awesome son and daughter already, I can't wait to see the little people you're baking now! And I have to second Daphne's comment, your bump is WAY smaller than my current tummy! No kids as a reason! You are beautiful and I wish you all things wonderful.
Yup. That's definitely a baby bump to me. ;o)
Archer is so perceptive and wise for only five years of age. He amazes me. I love his interpretation of how two babies comes to be, and how he loves his family so much, that he'd want a second lifetime with you.
You're one lucky mama.
I know that the road ahead may be scary and confusing, but I wish you the best, of the BEST on what's to come. <3
The world and its children need more mothers like you!
Rebecca, I have had so much fun reading your blog these past few years! Hearing your experiences and perspectives is really neat, plus you and your mom's quinoa recipes are amazing! You are going to be such an awesome mother of four, congratulations!
Wow! Congrats!
Don't worry, the Catholics will take you too. Well, not the ones like my parents who ran to snip everything they could after two, but you'll find people who need two minivans to get to church.
Seriously, though, all the best!
Anne-Marie
You look amazing. I'm sure you will be properly showing before you expect it :)
Archer is a kick ass son and he will definitely be a kick ass big bro. I'm so glad that he expresses his feelings right on to what he is feeling. That's awesome!
Home is where the heart is...and Love is your circle (Hal, you, Archer and Fable plus 2)
OMG, Archer. Way to make me tear up over here! Love that kid. :)
1) Archer is awesome. What a ridiculously intuitive child.
2) I don't know if this is accurate, but my sister and I had a conversation the other day, and she mentioned that she heard somewhere that most people, when asked how many children they plan to have (if they plan to have them at all) say the same number of kids in the family that they grew up in, so perhaps you envisioned a family of three because you're one of three and it feels more familiar? I'm one of four, and as my sister says, "It's impossible for anyone to ever feel left out." So 4 is a great number. =) Good luck!
You can come over anytime...it's only a short drive! Oh, and we have a mormon temple out here too, just in case ; )
Your little bump is just adorable, and I am so excited to read all about this journey through pregnancy with TWINS! Congrats times a million and many prayers and good lucks.
Wisdom is abundant in Archer. What a beautiful sentiment.
COME now - you have your family SO CHIN UP!!!
This is amazing and you will see this will work out the way that it should..
YOU and Hal will find a way to afford it all...
PLUS you have your "friends" from the internet.. and it is OUR obligation to make you the next dooce (translation $) and to give you an internet babyshower!!!
SO set up that PO BOX and get your self that mini van because something tells me someone is going to be getting A LOT of packages!
PS I agree with Daphne.. YOUR "bump" is bigger hten my regular tummy!!!
BTW where there is room for 3 there is room for 4. Sign up for like Costco or BJ's and you will save buttloads on diapers and baby whips :)
You look amazing! And if you lived ~8hrs north, I'd invite you places. Archer made me swoon :-)
woah! i haven't read in a bit and when i do you're preggers...with twins. oh. my. goodness. exciting! this absolutely made my day and i could not be more thrilled for your family! many congrats and so excited to read along on your journey.
I've been reading for a while and decided this would be the perfect time for my first comment. First off, congratulations! Second off, I have a son and daughter and a little over a year ago, I met my fiance' who has two daughters. We were engaged 4 months later and will be married in June. I may not have grown those girls in my belly, but I cultivated our relationship and it just now feels that we are a family. Our stresses deal more with pre-teen hormones rather than diaper changes and feeding, but they're my "twins". I had my tubes tied after two because I was DONE. Now, I'm in a family of 6. It is chaotic and sometimes I want to pull my hair out, but it is SO insanely awesome. To look out the window and see this troop of kids exploring the world together, the dinner table crammed with people, the older ones teaching the younger ones the ropes. Being an only child, it's almost magical to watch. You will be overwhelmed and question your physical, emotional, mental ability, but you will adapt and your heart will grow bigger than you ever thought possible. You will also feel like you drive a clown car when you see everyone unloading out of it. Best of luck to you, Hal, Archer, Fable and the two surprises!
if you want to commune with other twin parents you can join our yahoo group "Parents_of_Twins". i am a moderator and the owner of the group now has grandchildren. the moms in this group are from all over the world and at all stages of pregnancy and parenting. we even have one so cal mom pregnant with her 8th child who has 2 sets of twins. they were a comfort when i was new at this whole gig.
Now that is once cute little bump!
Whenever you post these little snippets of Archer conversations I am always so amazed by him. He seems like an 'old soul', and an absolutely beautiful one at that.
Oh my gosh... I've been so busy getting eaten by Corporate America (bunch of douche bags)that I haven't been able to do my regular blog reading. Somehow seeing that you are expecting just made my entire month. Congratulations, Bec.
I absolutely adore Archer. He is my little guru who I've never met. We have a stunningly similar idea about death and birth, but it took me 20ish years to arrive at it.
You and Hal clearly ROCK parenthood. You will be graceful and graceless, selfish and selfless, and everything human with these new babies and your little posse of four. You will also be tremendous and better than anything humans could come up with. I have zero doubt about it.
I'm the oldest of five (we were four for a very long time...my youngest sister was born when the next youngest was eight). And although money was tight sometimes, and we had to share bedrooms sometimes, and there was never enough room to spread out in the minivan, none of us would trade it for the world. My siblings are my best friends, and I love having so many of them.
Also, Archer's words -- man, what a great way to end my day.
Holy crapola! I must have missed a post because I was completely caught off guard when you mentioned multiples! Another congrats to you! I guess you were right in wondering if your family was complete ;) Best wishes to you and your growing baby belly.
I've read the blog for awhile (love, by the way), but never left a comment. I just wanted to say that while it may seem daunting, twins are awesome. I say this as a twin. The relationship between my sister and I is by far one of the most crazy, fulfilling, special relationships in my life (and we've both just gotten married and are beginning to start our own families. I love it so much so that while my mom and dad said it was ideal that they were young and stupid :) when they had us, I hope and pray that I have twins one day. Good luck. It's going to be a crazy journey, but it's worth the ride.
When I was pregnant with my twins, I really started showing when I was about 9 weeks along. I looked like was half way through the pregnancy by the time I was 13 weeks.
Hopefully, your all day sickness will be gone soon. You and your husband should have a plan in place before the twins come as to your feeding schedule, but I'm sure you already know this from your older two children.
In a years time, you will be unbelievably organized. You won't have any other choice, but it was nice for me to get to that point.
1000 extra calories a day?? Pshh. I was sick throughout my ENTIRE pregnancy (I may have gotten a few breaks here and there but they never last longer than a week) and so I lost 14 pounds, but you know what? Those babies are going to get what they need whether YOU get what you need or not! My daughter was born at a very healthy weight and overall size, and I never ate for two... and even if I had tried, goodness knows it would have never stayed down, haha.
Love is truly all you need. You'll be fine :)
Whatever, you can just hang with Angelina and Posh now. :)
"we got love" is right on the money. We've got four boys (I know!) who are 7.5, 5, 2.5 and 1. I'm not going to lie, some days are CRAZY busy and exhausting and WTF how did i get here anyway. But then there is the love. The overflowing, lavishly over the top love. And there ain't nothing else better. Stuff the lack of invitations. When you go out, you'll be bringing the party with you.
holy smokes, archer is such an amazing little kiddo! and your teensy baby bump is beyond adorable. you rock, mama! can't wait to keep reading this beautiful story of yours. (:
Congrats! And you can always come to my house to wreak havoc with the kiddies ;)
I am not even preggers and your post had me sobbing. Firstly, that is a sweet baby tummy, for sure. Gorgeous. And then, howwwwwl, I loved Archer's philosophy, such a testament to the great mom and dad you and Hal are. He wants to come back to you! Beautiful!
Congratulations, Rebecca! It's so awesome. You look beautiful!
Your son is such a poet.
Maybe the universe is trying to tell you that you've got too much to give as a Momma for just one more baby.
As for the finances, college funds, African safaris...those things always seem to have a way of working themselves out.
When we went from 2 to 4, I was so worried that there wouldn't be enough of me to go around once my twins were born (love & money!).
But what I didn't count on is the amount of love that the kids give each other, and it sure sounds like Archer & Fable are ready to shower some sibling love.
PS - And don't discount the travel adventures just yet. If there's one thing I've learned as a big family, it's how to get thrifty. We've taken some cool trips, hunting for bargain plane tix, negotiating cheap home rentals, getting off the beaten path (just came home from a trip to Central America with all six of us, by far half the cost of a Disney trip!).
One adventure at a time though :)
Do you rent Archer out for speaking conventions? Because he is a little ball of awesomeness!
What a cute little wittle belly... for now!!! ha ha .. I am sure many people are with me on this one... I CANNOT WAIT TO FIND OUT WHAT THEIR NAMES WILL BE!! You have a lot to live up to with the 2 beautiful names you already chose for Archer and Fable... whoooo hooooo... any ideas yet? I'm assuming you will wait to share them... but do you have any in mind yet though?
#1. Congratulations on twins!
#2. In the words of Maebe Funke (Arrested Development), "You've got a kickin' bod" :) I'm totally jealous that you're on pregnancy #3 and have no stretch marks...my first pregnancy made me part tiger.
and
#3. Where is your freaking adorable bedding from?
That little Archer is amazing.
You look great! And how on earth do you not have stretchmarks after the first 2? I have fully exposed belly pics with my first and couldn't do it with my 2nd, and no way am I doing it now with my 3rd. :D
Archer totally wins Big Brother of the Year award!
I am a mess with my own pregnancy miracle and had missed your news. I am SO damn excited for you! You guys can totally do this and will rock at it. You look adorable!
What beautiful words from Archer. Seriously, I can't imagine a more wonderful thing to hear from your kid.
You are amazing, you're already a wonderful mommy and your family is radical, it will be doubly more so. Archer sure is wise, his words made me cry. I love his idea of death and think I will adopt it as my own. Congrats to you and your lovely family. xo
I think you look great with your little twin baby bump :-)
Well the good thing about converting to Mormonism is that you would most likely have friends with 2 or 3 more kids than you! I only have one baby and as a 25 yr old Mormon I am way behind! Seriously though, I am so happy for you guys. You have the cutest kids so its only natural that you should have more!
Becky,
Toss the pregnancy books. Do what you can. Listen to your doctor, who I assume you trust. Ask questions. Those books will only serve to make you neurotic.
During my pregnancy I had hyperemesis (morning, afternoon, evening, middle of the night sickness). I could no more have eaten 100 calories or 300 calories or 500 calories that any book tell you to eat. They were more concerned with my DRINKING than eating anyhow. And my doctor who was lovely advised that my lovely little fetus was basically a parasite (not the best terminology, I'll grant you) it would take what it needed at my expense if necessary. I LOST weight for my first and most of my second trimesters... and guess what? The baby grew. It evened out in my third trimester... and the baby was incredibly healthy.
I hope you feel well and congratulations on your new additions!
Melissa
Thank you for sharing this journey, and Archer's wonderful thoughts. My husband has three brothers (and they're just normal Jews), and I think they managed to maintain a good social life (though I didn't know him at the time). Am I allowed to include two different parenthetical comments in the same sentence?
Holy shit! This is very exciting, and definitely intense news! I have to say, there are 5 kids in my family, and I always tell my parents I have no idea how they afforded it and made it work. But they did...and I promise you, we were not rich by any means. It was just good old fashioned "making it work." Not only did it work, but I have the most unbelievably amazing childhood memories. We had such a blast as a big family, and my siblings and I are all in our 20's now, and it is still amazing. I feel so proud to be part of a fun, close family with so many siblings--I hope that one day I can create my own large family. And some of us(myself included) even went to out of state colleges! (lots of loans...but we are doing just fine.) You are going to be amazing, and it will be so much fun. I'm excited to see how it all goes down!
People who are as enthusiastic and inspired about being a mom as you are should have 4 kids! Maybe more.
Souls are just lining up at your tummy for a chance to be your kids!
AND as a twin myself, may I just say that those babies will be born with their soul mate and they will never want for a friend. Lucky babies!
My BFFs have four kids, with the fourth being a total unexpected surprise (wait, that sounds redundant), and I'd hang out with them every day if I could (and I just have one so far). I'm sure there's a "me" in your life, plenty in fact. When great people have more kids, it makes the world better for everyone.
1,000 calories!? Did those books mention that when carrying multiples you get an extra 10 hours added onto your day?? How in the world...
As a fellow twin mama (yes, that's you, a twin mama!) -- I wanted to tell you about a great local resource and have been meaning to send you the link. And then today, on her blog, she posted a whole summary of tips and advice for new parents of twins. Gina Osher's blog is the Twin Coach and I wish I knew about her when I was pregnant, scared, freaking out, and couldn't deal with all the conflicting advice in the books (as you are finding). She does one-on-one coaching sessions, is VERY well connected in the multiples community, and also has an amazing blog. Here is the post from today with tons of helpful tips: http://thetwincoach.blogspot.com/2011/03/our-best-tips-and-advice-for-new.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+blogspot%2FipBiw+%28The+Twin+Coach%29
are you sure you have been pregnant before?? Hahaha--I mean, you look like a virgin body, woman--just gorgeous... I appreciate you sharing your insecurities on here--I do-and then usually after, I think, "I probably shouldn't have hit that publish button".... but as a reader, here-it is quite comforting... so, thank you. Congratulations on your pregnancy-the impending arrival of two!!! Wow! What joys they will be!
There is no doubt in my simple mind that you will be accepted-and if not--those folks don't know what they are missing.
And-what an amazing thing Archer said-does it not melt your heart... already, he deeply appreciates where he comes from.... that right there, is great parenting.
Cheers to you and your family!!
that's right-- you've got love. And just think of how much love your children are going to have for the rest of the their lives.... all because they will have each other. I love having 3 siblings... I always have someone I can go to. And I know that when the day comes when our parents are no longer here... I will not be alone. Sorry to be morbid. Long live your lovely family.
hi rebecca, one more piece of unsolicited advice - start rubbing that belly with shea butter or some sort of anti-stretch mark oil -just in case you go all the way to your due date and wind up carrying one 8 pounder and one 7 pounder - like i did. In which case, resistance is futile. Stretch marks are coming for you. But still, start greasing it up now! x Fellow twin-mom Jiff
Focus on grams of protein rather than number of calories. Pack it in wherever you can...quinoa pasta, Monte Cristo your sandwiches (french toastify a PBJ, it's delicious!), get friendly with protein powder and frozen fruit smoothies, put nuts on everything.
Rebecca~
Congratulations beautiful lady. When my twin baby girls Thea-Simone and Nova-Joy were born 18 months ago, my boys Kaden-Truth and Noble (who are a year apart) were 3 and 4. It gets "easier" every day...but it's no joke taking care of 4 small kids;)
I have been reading this blog since Archer was a baby...I am confident that you and your family have exactly what you need to expand from 4 to 6 with beauty and grace...
Of course it often won't look or FEEL graceful (especially at the beginning)...but you totally got this girl!
Peace~
Karen
I grew up in a family of eight children and people still had us over. We made friends. Although no African safaris. And while we certainly had our money strapped times...like the Christmas my parents couldn't afford presents and made us marionettes and dress up clothes. I wouldn't trade in any of my siblings for nicer shoes or better Christmas presents. You're giving your kids a fabulous gift.
Congratulations! You won't regret it for a second and neither will they.
Archer is amazing.
Also, love those glasses on you!
I used to have the same thoughts when I had my fourth kid. "We will never be invited anywhere. We will be recluses." But seriously, the friends who LOVE you will soon love your kids. I have SIX and we're still invited places. Hahahaaa We are often requested at birthday parties because we "bring the party" wherever we go. Get ready for raucous living. I'll take it ANY DAY over a quiet cup of tea and a bunch of cats.
Archer is amazing and so are you. How fortunate you are. All the love in the universe.
Archer is amazing and so are you.
i haven't been able to comment on your initial posting, with the announcement of twins. but, as a reader, and mother (of two, about F and A's age), and writer, and woman....i really want to say congratulations and i know you (and your family) will conquer this monumental change flawlessy. and the babes will be SO loved. you inspire me, for reals!!
Can't wait to hear about this journey. Seriously. I'm not religious, but what a blessing!
wow! you are as precious as ever. i am so excited for you and your family. babies!!!!!!!!
your so real. that is why i love this blog.
i am sure you are overwhelmed, but you have LOVE, love, love. lots of love.
Get ready! I was 60" around the day before I had my twins - that's 5 frickin feet! I was huge, started waddling at 3 months and people looked at me and knew i was having twins I was so big.
Good news though - my girls were born only 3 weeks early and came straight home with us. Never had to do bed rest, worked up to the week before, I don't have any stretch marks and while my tummys not quite the same - it's not that bad.
You'll do great.
Or alternately, you could move to France, where non-mormon, non-orthodox jews have three or four kids. Yes, even in Paris.
Just sayin, as I'm expecting my third (yes, only my third) at exactly the same time as you are expecting your number 3 and 4 (what can I say? we can't all be overachievers;-)!
Congratulations from afar...
Such amazing news, I'm sure you will do a wonderful job growing those twins and then raising them once they are born. Plus, I know lots of great Mormon mommies in LA who would love to be friends with you!
So, you look better than I ever have in my entire life- and that includes when I was prepubescent little kid kind of skinny. Who needs six pack if you're healthy? You look fabulous! I'm totally excited for you and wish that I could be in the same boat you are in.
PS- My grandmother and grandfather had 11 children together. They still had friends and were invited to lots of places. When my grandfather died last month, there were an unbelievable number of people at the funeral. So no worries; having lots of kids isn't a bad thing!
Congratulations! My triplets turned one a few weeks ago, but I still remember the terror I felt when I saw the three little blips on the ultrasound. For what it's worth, my advice is to ignore those multiple pregnancy books and just listen to your doctor. You really don't need 1000 extra calories, the babies will take what they need and be just fine. I was totally food-averse the whole pregnancy and barely gained 30 pounds and my babies were perfect sizes for their gestational ages. It's going to be a wild and wonderful ride - enjoy!
archer must overwhelm you with his constant wisdom... then again, you're probably used to it by now.
sage words from the mouths of little ones is such a precious gift.
love and light to you... ALL.
Rebecca,
I've never commented on a blog before - but really felt so touched by these posts that I had to write. When I first read your post about being so sick this pregnancy - all I could think was, "She's having twins." Because the same thing happened to me . . . very bad morning sickness when my first pregnancy had been so easy. Then, with a 9 month old child at home, there were the 2 little heartbeats on the ultrasound . . . and I had the same exact reaction. Panic, fear, anxiety. A sense that I'd never be able to handle it.
My twins (a by and a girl) are now nearly 4 years old and it is honestly one of the most amazing things in the entire world. I simply could not imagine our family any other way. Now I feel badly for people who don't get to have twins! Yes, it can be hard, and yes, it can be a lot of work, but it is amazing and fun and when you get to watch all of your kids together you will feel like the luckiest person alive.
So - just my way of saying, Congratulations! Wishing you a good and easy pregnancy . . .
Archer is so special. I mean all kids are, but the things he says? It's crazy and adorable and I love it. If everyone viewed the world through his eyes, it sure would be a nicer place to live!
You look fantastic! So very, very happy for you and Hal, congratulations again!!
Archer is the sweetest. That boy has an old soul I swear....
FUCK ME! You're having twins! Congratulations! Twins are truly the most wonderful of wonderfulnesses.
I've been reading your blog for ages but haven't read any blogs for the last couple of weeks (hello, four month old twins) which is why I'm a little late to this party, but I just wanted to offer you my most heartfelt congrats and to tell you that it is going to be more amazing than you could ever begin to imagine. It's going to be hard and tiring and frustrating too, but mostly AMAZING.
Oh, and I ate barely a thing for the first few months because I felt so sick and my bubs worked out just fine.
On the topic of large families:
I am the fourth child of five; all single births, one boy (the oldest) and four girls. We grew up in Westchester, NY, where families of five kids are all but unheard of. When my parents married, they were pretty much penniless grad students. They just made it work, and so will you. What is really vital is that your kids clearly know that they are truly and totally loved - nobody is going to be ignored or forgotten, as my sister explained to our grandfather when my mother was pregnant with Baby #5. "It's just another baby to love!"
I'm graduating from college in two months, and I know that someday - not soon, but someday - I'll have my own kids. Plural. Because I could never imagine growing up without my siblings, my instant support network, my partners in crime, shoulders to cry on, givers of advice on everything from books to boys to jobs and apartments. All you have to remember is how lucky you are to have each other. That's the most important thing.
I love Archer. he has some amazing comments
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