I started my first blog in 2002. It was called The Pointy Toe Shoe Factory - an awful place to go walking alone after dark, which is what I did tonight. I walked alone through the back-end of my archives into a past far from flattering. I was an awful person in those days - or at least I read like one. I was sad and miserable, broken, angry, painfully insecure. But I was open. Honest. More honest than I have ever been here. Fearlessly honest because what I said didn't matter. There were no opportunities at stake, no grandparents reading, no needing to support myself, no fear of pissing off strangers, offending friends, jeopardizing relationships, embarrassing my kids - I was misogynistic and misanthropic and negative but at least I was honest, even if I wrote nonsensically like someone who hadn't slept in years. (I hadn't.)
And even though I read through the archives cringing and yes, occasionally crying over the arrogant, clueless girl I am embarrassed to say I was, I envied her in a way. Her freedom to write graphically, publicly, even if it was more for shock than story, her truth, no matter how mangled.
It's impossible to be brutally honest in a public forum when there are more than three people reading. It is far easier to tell the truth in a fictional space. Because the truth would offend and upset and embarrass and I don't want to do any of those things. So? I write about what I think people want to read, judging with the only tools I have: comments and facebook "likes", the occasional stumble.... I watch traffic spike and dip and try to understand why this has two hundred comments where this has twenty something. Why this post struck a cord and that post did not. Why it matters. Why I care.
***
I have a tattoo around my waist that says, "Only the truth dressed up as a fairy tale." The story behind the tattoo goes something like this:
Back in 2002, as I was reading Anais Nin's House of Incest at a coffee shop in New York City, I happened upon a line that overwhelmed me. It was exactly what I thought to be true but could never articulate: "What is allotted me to say? Only the truth disguised in a fairytale..."
I fell in love with what I read - with Nin's idea that good fiction was greater than truth, more real than reality. There was a tattoo parlor across the street. I walked inside and asked the man to tattoo the words around my waist, but what I had transcribed in the margin of my notebook was incorrect.
She had written "disguised" and I had "dressed up" in its place. I didn't realize this until it was too late. The scab had formed.
I was embarrassed for many years - I had misquoted my hero permanently. It wasn't until the years passed that I started to appreciate my seemingly careless mistake. I took something meaningful, inspiring, even life altering and made it my own. I didn't want to disguise my truth but rather, dress it up and go dancing. So I did. I do. (I aim to, anyway.)
I have done what has felt natural to the progression of this space - turned it into my own little magazine and hired myself as editor in chief and that's where I am. At my desk, selecting music and editing my mom's enlightened food posts, sharing a passion for fashion, photo montages that tell little stories, things that interest and excite me, ideas worth sharing, the occasional life story. That was always the plan when redesigning my site - to take GGC: "Mommy Blog" and slowly migrate towards GGC: "Personal Lifestyle Magazine of Woman Who Also Happens to Have Kids." It's what feels right to me for the moment. Natural progression, change. And if it means a very different blog than what existed when I started here five years ago? Let it be. I'm a different person now. Less confessional, more private.
I know I'll never please everybody. Not even HALF of everybody. It has taken years but I've finally made peace with that. Still, I felt I owed you all an explanation - all the anonymouses who have put in their requests for "more heartfelt posts" with invisible quarters. Unfortunately for me, it's not as simple as pressing B9 on the juke box.
Perhaps the reason I sobbed through writing Archer's final post was because a part of me knew I was closing the book on the way we were, the way it's always been here in my little virtual space, that by ending Archer's story, I was changing mine. At least the story I was telling here.
Because the Child in "Girl's Gone Child" was always in reference to Archer... And when you take "Child" out of the title you're left with Girl's Gone...
And, sure. In a way the girl has gone, but only because a (woman?) has replaced her. A woman burnt out on constant parenthood talk - who'd like to talk about other things for a change, like road trips with girlfriends and clothes and her favorite songs AS WELL as posts about being a mother, wife...
Because change is what happens over time, a shifting of boundary lines. In people. In spaces.
So to those of you who "no longer recognize" GGC, who regularly call me out for leaving the building, you're right. A part of me has - pooling ideas and experiences into characters I can create outside of GGC - exterior projects with interior motives, the truth dressed up as a fairy tale - where I can express myself fully with less confrontational ramifications.
But I'm here, too. Just as here as I've always been: Girl's Gone Child 2.0., experimenting with a new and different way of doing things. Trying on as many dresses as it takes before I find one that fits. Duck tales after the swan song. Ch-ch-ch-changes.
GGC
140 comments:
you're fantastic! while i am not a public person i get your words all too well right now. its an age thing for me, i think but adjusting to how things/life change and how children get older has been weighing on my heart strings.... maybe not what you intended to say but i feel you anyway!
btw- you should post the Crystal Castles song featuring the amazing Robert Smith...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DWYZ_bld9uM&feature=fvsr
i want everyone to love this song!!!
I liked your posts about Archer as much as I now like your posts about eating well and Gone Style. I expect myself to change over the years so it wouldn't be very fair to expect my daily blogs not to as well.
I like that you haven't given it up and are just mutating to fit who you are now. I'm sorry that I have never posted my thoughts before for you to see as I have read every post since I started reading a few years ago. I am not much of a commenter in general but I can see how that would be somewhat frustrating as the writer.
I do hope you will continue.
Jilly
Do what you need to do.
And if sometimes that is guarded, if you think of your child's privacy, if you want to pay your rent, if you don't want to alienate every real life friend and relative... That seems decidedly Okay. I'm sure you'll still find interesting things to say. You're a very interesting person with a talent for writing.
While it's true that I miss some of your more poignant essays about your kids and, mostly, yourself, I'm also envious of and inspired by your ability to branch outside that cozy (confining?) cocoon and find other avenues for creativity and connection. (Whoa that's a lot of c's, sorry.)
Some days I wonder whether I am disappearing. GGC 2.0 shows me I don't have to, and when I'm ready for my own 2.0, I hope I have the balls to go for it.
This is one of those personals that is going to prove to be a universal for a hell of a lot of people out there reading, and writing in their own spaces.
Beautiful. I admire your conviction and knowledge of what you want, what you need.
I think to box yourself in does a disservice to the world. You're an amazing writer and I think you should write about whatever it is you want to. Life is a constant stream of changes, forever gradually altering our view of the world. You have to flow where life takes you.
How I struggle with the privacy, the boundaries, the honesty.
No matter what you choose to share with us Bec, I support you. Always.
Jilly - You so don't need to comment. EVER. That was not my intention to make you feel like you do. So, PLEASE never feel obligated. It's not frustrating to me at all! My frustration comes from those who repeatedly tell me I have changed and that they wish I would change back. I wrote this post to explain that I will ONLY write about what I feel comfortable writing about.
That likely that that too will change over time. Because I'm a human. Because this is my space. Because change is what happens to humans and spaces.
And I'm not going anywhere. xo
I believe life is about constant change & if your not changing your not growing. Iv'e read your blog for a couple of years & I have loved they way it's grown.
Thank you all so much for your words. Your support means everything. You're wonderful.
I think many of your readers and fellow bloggers are experiencing that same 2.0 shift.
Blogs should change as we grow, right?
After all, what other art form can be cataloged, edited, and changed daily?
I think changing the scope of your blog is a smart move in terms of attracting a wider base of readers...
When I started blogging, I was only dealing with the ugly parts of having a developmentally delayed kid. That still remains, but I've also incorporated my gluten-free living recipes and DIY/artsy stuff as well...
Point being, you are not the only one!
You are an amazing talented writer. That's why I come to read. Love the changes and agree its your space and you're gonna do you! Keep writing. You rock! Are you thinking of writing book #2?
I love where you have gone with your blog. I follow (more like stalk) tons of blogs, including other mommy blogs and I like that you incorporate more than just the mommy part of it. So many of us mom's forget that we are also women who enjoy things outside of being a mom and that it's ok to talk about fashion and food and music and whatever else interests us.
To me, your blog is very refreshing and invigorating and it reminds me to be a woman, a wife, a music lover, a lover, a whatever. All that in addition to being a mom.
So thank you. I look forward to following (stalking?) you more!
Sometimes it seems like we are tortured/uncomfortable by who we are or the life we live; but when she/ it is gone we miss her/ it and wonder how it all went by so fast.
Your blog has inspired me so much as a new mom (am I still considered new when my son will be 2 in January?). I've only been reading since becoming a mom, but I've loved watching your personal evolution in this time. I blog with the very same goals -- to let myself grow and change and to share various aspects of my life, not just my mom side (although that side does tend to dominate at this point).
And then I read Rockabye and felt such a connection to your words. Your writing is truly what makes you stand out, no matter the topic.
P.S. I'm also a big Anais Nin fan. I love both her words and your interpolation of them.
This post made a lot of sense, it sort of clicked a light bulb for me, like "yeah, that makes sense" because I've been reading your blog for a little over 2 years and I've noticed the content has changed recently but I didn't know if that was intentional or not. I didn't think that was a bad thing, I just assumed you were adding various components to the blog, like the style and food posts -- which I enjoy.
Your personal posts are great too, because as a mom, it's wonderfully helpful to read a post that describes something similar you are going through -- but in more poetic form! In any case, I'll keep on reading for sure...whatever the topic or style!
I love that people change. It is one of the only things that gives me hope.
I really love your blog and I think the changes have been a natural progression. Some of my friends have started having babies and their lives are all about being a mother. I have a few years jump on them and now motherhood isn't such an all encompassing state of being.
I enjoy the fashion, food, etc. I enjoy being a visitor to your fun, stylish, accomplished life. A life that also includes children. Who would have thought all that was possible!
I think that we all grow and change, both as people and as writers. You are evolving and with that why shouldn't your privacy filters change. Don't worry about anyone else. To be honest when I started reading this post I felt a bit sick because I thought you were saying good bye forever. You are familiar to me (which is obviously weird as we are total strangers) but I do enjoy checking in a few times a week and seeing what is going on --maybe posts have changes but not better or worse, just different.
change is good.
and anyone who wants you to stay in the perfect little box they've painted you into is merely shadowboxing with the fact that they feel powerless to make any changes themselves.
no one who lives a full life is free from change.
keep on keepin on, sister.
YES! I love the shift you have made, and yes, I noticed! You do what you do, Ms. Rebecca. I'm keeping my bookmark to GCC. :)
And PS: I love all your tattoos. Maybe someday I'll have the guts to get my first.
I've been reading your blog for years and I'm happy to go along for the ride, wherever the road leads us. Whether it be recipes or your wonderful fashion posts, you're still you and the words are still yours, and you're still the first blog I read when I'm catching up on my faves.
Please, just don't quit.
I am not sure why I am just now stumbling on this blog but I'm really glad I did.
rebecca, remember: you can be whoever you want to be, at any point in time. you can redefine and more importantly, UNdefine yourself as often as you need to. as often as you want to. be a writer. be a mother. be a girl that wears awesome boots... be true to yourself. write for you and write about what interests you and we will always be interested because you are being REAL! we read your blog not because you write about your kids, but because you write about your experiences in a way we know is real. you're inspiring. enlightening. keeping the world interesting. thank you for sharing your life. seriously, fantastic ferragamo footprints for me to try and follow.
-lily
If it's worth anything at all, I love the evolution.
I would pretty much read anything you wrote. Grocery list? Doodles on a napkin? Bring it.
First of all, hats off! Your blog is wonderful... and yes, us mamas like to read about other things too. Love the recipes and fashion... I would say don't change a thing, but please change in any way you want because I am sure it will be great!
Maybe the first thing that attracts people to a blog is the category. Maybe the first time people read your blog liked the fact that you talked about your children. But I can tell you people kept reading because there was something behind the topic. You are a great writer, regardless of child talk. Keep writing about what makes your heart tic and people will keep loving your words.
All the love!
You are refreshing, real, deep... whimsical in a way.... keep a blog or a diary for you to write or vent on. Sometimes we have to limit our actions to what would be considered acceptable and pleasant. Keep moving!
I have multiple blogs and journals over the years and whenever I am depress I look back by reading what I wrote and go through the experiences again in my mind... it is sort of a gauge whether i have improved or not. We do progress! =)
its all good. i just like your posts. i've been reading your blog for a while now, and a friend got me your book. I just like your writing style you could write about paint drying or whatever and you'd still find a way to make it interesting.
lets put it this way, my blog averse but story reading husband reads you too, and he'd NEVER EVER admit to reading a mommy blog.
oh and total side note, i've made a bunch of the recipes and they are awesome.
I have read your blog every day since Fable was born. It's my favourite blog ever. I enjoy reading almost everything you post about (the one exception is the music posts, it's just not my bag baby). I would never ask you to stop posting about certain topics or to change what you do because I don't like it. This is your space Rebecca and you need to write about what you want.
I do hope that when some of your other projects come to fruition, you let us know about them so we can buy your book/read your articles/see your screenplay. That way we can still connect with the parts of Rebecca that don't live in your blog anymore.
P.S. Sorry if this comes off as overly creepy/stalkerish.
But that's what I love! Whenever I find a blog that I want to commit to (and I've been committed to following yours for years) I always read from the beginning, all the way, chronologically, through the archives. It's the journey, the growth, the change, that makes a personal blog interesting, that makes me love it.
If you were still posting the same kind of things as you were years ago it would seem so formulaic, as though you were trying to give us what you thought had attracted us in the first place, rather than letting us see your truth through the change in your stories (your truth dressed up as 'fairy tales').
I too have been enjoying the evolution.
You know that saying, the squeaky wheel gets the grease? Well it sounds like there are many squeaky wheels out there, but they don't speak for the rest of us.
You fucking GO , Rebecca.
Totes inspirational, dude.
Rebecca - I always admired "mommy bloggers" ability to dish on deets of their lives. I was never able to do this myself, but ultimately I just found that I am too private to do so.
We totally change from 20-late twenties onward, and it makes sense that your feelings may have changed along the way.
I love your blog with it's new direction, more music, more fashion, more recipes, please!!
While I miss your Archer posts, and as much as I love your nuanced perceptions of parenthood, I have to say that I love love love your music posts and your [mom's] food posts. I will continue reading GGC because I like your words, not because you have fucking adorable children!
This is such a sweet post, not to mention SUCH a good point. Be who you want to be and don't excuse it. The internet is an awfully fickle being and impossible to always (ever?) please. So best of luck to continuing your story, and I look forward to reading it :-)
Never lose sight that this is YOUR blog - no apologies or explainations required. The readers you may lose for failing to give them part of your soul, you will gain in readers who will wan to share in the artistry of your new vision. I will gladly visit to enjoy whatever gems you send to us in cyberspace!
Oh my God. I was terrified when I started reading this post that you might be leaving us for good!
Glad you're not. :)
This post resonated with me probably more than anything else I've ever read here - because I've only been here during the "Child" years and I am not a mother. But I recently went through my own online identity struggle after 6 years of blogging, and scrapped a URL that most people in my life recognized more than they recognized my own name.
Thank you for this.
I read your blog, not just because you have a so called 'mommyblog', but because it is nice having the feelings articulated that I sometimes have as a mother trying to balance me the mom, and me the mother. You always write beautifully about that balance.
While I do miss some of the more detailed stories, I think the direction you have taken with your blog has had posts that keep me coming back. I have always admired your ideas on style and on health topics.
Thanks for sharing your story with us, no matter in what form you choose to share it.
Whatever you write about, doesn't matter...you are one hell of a good writer and that is why I read.
sigh.
you know i hear you, loud and clear.
for what it's worth, i'm grateful for your voice... have been for years.
This is my first time posting a comment on your site. I just wanted to say good for you for being willing to adapt. To recognize changes in yourself and how those should change your site. I've really enjoyed your new additions here and will be visiting Girl's Gone Child as long as you are writing it.
Thank you for your honesty in every post. I have enjoyed reading your stories and following along with your newest adventures. High five for a great job!
I've been reading, religiously, since 2007 when I discovered I was pregnant (unplanned) and terrified. You got me through that. I've seen these changes and yet I still come back because I know the person that writes whatever she chooses to write and share is one person I deeply respect.
Change is inevitable and I couldn't imagine writing "deep" posts everyday to please an audience. That gives me a panic attack just thinking about it.
I too have a tattoo around my waist that says "This Too Shall Pass" in latin. And while I got it to cope with pain, these days it means something different. Everything will pass- ideas, people, personalities, etc. And this isn't a bad thing.
I'll keep reading if you'll keep rocking out with your badass self.
P.S.- Thanks for posting a link to one of my heroes. If there's one person that knows about revamping it's Bowie.
i love the evolution! Keep changing, growing, moving. If I had an archive of all my thoughts and feelings in my twenties I would cringe (and cry) too. But that's all part of it right? I will read anything you write. You're fantastic and inspirational!
You know what those Anonymouses can shove it. Your blog=your words. Period. And I happen to love the words that you write.
I hardly ever comment, but felt compelled to, today. I've been reading GGC for years, and I LOVE the way it's evolved. It's definitely not the same blog it was when I started reading, and I think that's so great. Because people change... and it's been wonderful to see this space change as you have. So keep doing whatever makes you happy, and forget the anonymouses, because clearly most of your readers are happy with your evolution here.
I have been reading you for years, my girls are close in age to Fable. I am totally where you are. I am getting back to being a woman and not just a Mom. Mom is my most important priority but I am much more than that. Good for you taking your blog in a new direction. Best of luck!
i've been reading your blog since i was 6 months pregnant with my first child (who will now by 5 in may, yikes!). i was initially drawn to your blog because you were a mom who was, well for lack of a better word, cool. i watched through the window of the internet as you raised archer while i was raising my daughter and i enjoyed that even though you were a mom, you never lost your sense of self. something that i have worried about myself, whether or not i am being true to me or rather if i am being true to what society wants me to be: chained down to children, prim and proper.
i now have two kids and although they are the center of my life, they are not what defines me. i appreciate that you have broken the "mom blog" mold and intertwine things that haven't been lost on you just because you had children. i too enjoy the same music and fashion and passion for going out and having a good time, sans kids (and sometimes husband too, ha) as you do and you've been sort of a guilty pleasure for me over the past few months because sometimes im afraid to put that out there. like, it makes me a bad mother or person for enjoying those things and not constantly writing or talking about my kids.
this is becoming a really long comment. what i am trying to say, in my mumble jumbled morning brain, is that i have been reading this for a long time and i have enjoyed watching your blog change and grow as you have changed and grown. keep on keepin' on.
I can't believe people are so mean...it's YOUR blog, isn't it? I mean, wow.
yay for doing what feels best for you and for where you are. Or course you have changed in the past five years!!!
As long as you keep posting the occasional adorable picture of Fable and/or Archer, I'll be happy.
Go on, don't be shy, don't feel pushed or trampled, don't feel you need to please us and nothing more. Just be yourself, and enjoy the ride. It's YOUR blog. I'll keep reading the posts I like, and skipping the ones I don't like. Or maybe one day I'll be gone, and someone else will take my place... Hugs!
Liesbet
I love the blog-now and then. We all change. I don't keep reading because I find it comforting in its sameness- I read because of your voice and point of view.
i like you, sharing, no sharing. whatever. i am thankful, however, that i was around to 'get to know you' to realize that it is ok to speak the truth, to not run with the in crowd, to make mistakes and to be yourself, to not parent from a book. thankful. i appreciate as much your willingness to share as your willingness to keep your family's stories private. still, i dig fashion, food, tunes and your courage to forge a new path that is all your own. best of luck, i am happy to be along for the ride.
Personally I prefer your newer blog entries. I'm always taking ideas from your cooking section and I'm trying to build up enough courage to post a picture in your style section. Keep up what your doing! Your entries are not just "I'm a mother, here's what my son/daughter did today" they're so much more.
Thank you!
anything that doesn't change is dead. good for you, rebecca. here, here!
Rebecca,
This is your blog, your space to do with what you please. I admire your honesty and courage to try things out and go in different directions. I love how the blog has grown and changed over time. We all grow and change over time - why shouldn't this blog?
I have especially enjoyed they Eat Well posts and the Gone Style posts! Some of our new favorite meals have come from this blog!
Keep doing what you are doing pretty girl! :)
Emma
I say bravo! We all grow and change and mature. Your readers are doing the same and maybe haven't figured it out yet. ;)
thank god. i love it. as a first time "mommy" (i still feel like i have to put that word in quotes...) i sought out mommy blogs while i was pregnant and afterwards. but as i get the hang of this whole thing (um... sort of) i'm trying to get back to myself. what do I like? what do I want to wear, listen to, read, watch? i love your fashion etc posts. and your voice is strong enough to continue to shine through. thanks yo.
I started reading your blog when you became Pregnant with Fable. I think it has evolved beautifully. Your passion and personality shines through in every post.
I understand the evolution, I finding myself feeling a lot like that some days. Not so much with my blog but life.
I'm kind of a new reader, I guess, having only found you in the past year or so. I love how you write and I relate to a lot of it, also being a mom to 2 who has 'other things' I care about.
I will confess I click the browser button back as soon as I see the style posts, but that's about me, not you. It's just not something that interests me, but I'm sure me waxing poetic about sunrises and such nonsense bores the piss out of people who read my blog. BUT I still come check in every day and more often than not I nod my head in agreement or laugh or whatever. I think the most important piece is that blogs are YOUR space to be and explore and write and create.
In short: Keep on keepin' on! I love your writing and you're bound to win and lose readers no matter what you do. You're not writing a parenting advice column here...you're blogging about what sings to you!
just for the record, I love what GGC has morphed into. and you're great. so. there.
I don't comment often, but I thought I should share that.
<3
Just another voice chiming in to say I love what you are doing. I have to admit to you that your blog is my favorite by far. I really appreciate that not every thing you write about is about your kids (though I do love those posts too...your kids are cuties) or being a mom. Through your writings, you show that there is still a lot to life other than "just" being a mom. You are an artist and that didn't just go away once you became a mom and a wife. Plus, tuning into your blog, I'm reminded of what's cool again...I feel so out of the loop these days.
I've noticed the shift and wondered what was going on, whether you were okay, etc. Thank you for letting us know.
I, for one, love the new direction your blog has taken. I think you do a great job of balancing all the different aspects of being a woman. I love the cooking posts (if not for those, I would have no idea what quinoa is!) and the fashion posts (you are far more daring than I am, but you do give me ideas).
I have struggled with what to make public/what to keep private so much so that it has stopped me from writing and posting as often. And I just want to commend you for having the courage to make your own path...again.
I love me some GGC, whatever form you make take. xo
I read through this post SO quickly with my heart in my throat because I feared it was a "Dear John" post and you were quitting blogging. I'm relieved you're not.
I don't remember how long I've been reading your blog, but I do know that when I found it, I spent the next few days starting at Post 1 and reading all the way through.
I love everything you write (even when I don't, if that makes sense) and I think personal evolution is mandatory in life. Like someone else said, I'd read anything you wrote - doodles on a napkin, whatever.
Your blog inspires me and made me know that once I became a mom I didn't have to be a frump OR boring (um, although I'm probably both still).
Write whatever you want. It encourages the rest of us to do so, too.
I like to think you've opened up yourself up even more......You're sharing whole other sides of you and that I appreciate. Kudos to you Rebecca! And don't let anyone turn you into a one trick pony, but you're waaaaay too cool for that.
I have had a livejournal since 2004 and this past summer I tried out moving my journal to the blog world. I hated it. I enjoy journaling but hated that feeling I needed to entertain people. I ultimately switched back to my LJ and am happy being very open without having to wonder what people think. Its perfect for me because I don't want feedback - I just need to get out whatever it is I'm feeling. Just wanted to say I admire you and every other blogger. It wasn't for me but you do such a great job and it is your space to do with what you want.
I've been following your blog since the days of PTSF...yes, THAT long! A friend turned me on to your blog, way back when I hadn't heard of "blogging" and you've been a consistant favorite ever since. I've watched you grow, I supposed, as I've grown up with you. Ok, that sounds strange. But you know what I mean. I don't think you've lost yourself, I think you've just found your voice even more so. I've enjoyed your heartfelt, honest, truly GGC style that to ME has been consistantly YOU through the years. I commend you for sharing you life, your ups, your downs, your troubles, your photos, your thoughts. You haven't changed, you've evolved.
I add my voice to the army of a choir. I would be much less likely to keep reading if you were still writing the same posts, honest though they were, as five or six or seven years ago. We grow and evolve, that is what we were meant to do. And look at you! You're doing it! You've done it, in this lovely public space for us all to see and cheer you on.
I have also been reading for years, been inspired by you for years, and look forward to the next evolution of you and of GGC. There is nothing to say but CONGRATULATIONS for moving on up in the world.
People come in and out of your life when you need them to, when the time is right...I found your blog when I was pregnant and was struggling with having to lose myself in motherhood, because there is so much more to talk about, even though I can talk about my daughter endlessly. Your blog is perfect, as is....
I love your blog exactly the way it is! Myabe its because I came upon it after Archer. But I don't need to read about parenting. I live it every day. I come here frequently becuase I dig the "magazine" you have created. Keep up the great work!
Guess what? I love you more than ever.
Kudos.
Love, love.
Oh, thankyoujesus. I spent most of this post thinking you were stopping blogging forever.
Look, I'm not a parent, and even when I am, I don't think I'm going to be reading parenting blogs non-stop. It's not really my thing. So I'm f*cking THRILLED that you're writing about a wider net of stuff. That you're exploring how being a mom doesn't have to be your whole identity.
And be as private as you need to. There is nothing worse as a reader than watching someone rip open their soul in a way that clearly is not right for them. There is plenty of you on the surface for us to enjoy, and it will make those personal posts that much sweeter.
Cheers lady, I'm thrilled to watch you transform.
Personally, I skip most of the posts now because I'm not really interested in vegetarian cooking, the style posts nor the music posts. I starting reading for the unique perspectives on marriage and kids and I miss that most of that seems like it's gone.
But that's the thing about evolving a blog, some readers from before you may end up losing but you'll gain new ones that are interested in what you talk about now.
Who am I to tell you what you can and cannot write about? I can't believe people actually have the gall to do that.
Just wanted to say that I LOVE the changes of the past year. I started reading (maybe two years ago?) because I loved the voice in your writing, but I couldn't relate to many of your posts as a 24-year-old unmarried, childless law student. Now, I find myself much more engaged with your blog. We have very similar tastes in food/cooking. The fashion posts have inspired to have a little more fun with my clothes. The music posts have led me to seek out new songs and up my indie cred.
Basically, I just think you're a cool woman who happens to have kids, and I love that your blog gives me a little peek into what inspires you and shapes you as a person.
I was kind of wondering why you changed your approach. I wrote this whole, long academic paper on mommyblogs last year and presented it recently at a conference. That got me thinking about how much the "mommyblogs" I wrote about have changed in just a year. Also, about why I still read yours, even though I have no academic interest and am not even a mom! I think it's because you keep it real. I am sorry to see some of the more heartfelt posts go. I would email some of them to my husband (if he was at work), "read this. it's really moving." On the other hand, it seems that most of the mommyblogs I wrote about have taken a similar turn. I wonder if the time of turning the home inside out is up, or if it was just too hard to get nasty comments about your personal life. I don't subscribe to magazines. They aren't real. Even with this turn, please keep it real. Please don't leave the rest of us out here looking for a reality check and some sense of solidarity left with just the superficial. Sorry to be a bit dramatic! I totally understand how this change is going to be rewarding and fun (and don't we all want a fun job!). I'll still be reading :)
I've been reading for a while, but I think this is my first comment. I think it's awesome that you're letting yourself change and that your blog is changing with it. People may miss your old voice, but it'd be inauthentic, right?
Also, I am making your english toffee recipe today. Excited.
Kids are great, and I love reading about yours... but sometimes we all need a break from parenting. I've been in the process of weeding out blogs from my reader. Once mostly mommy blogs, I find that I'm nixing those that are exclusively child focused. Why? Because sometimes it's nice to read a parenting story and feel like you're not alone in whatever struggle or joy is being expressed. But other times I have no desire to read such things because I'm LIVING them every day and please oh please can't I have a break from it already?
Girls Gone Child has remained firmly in my reader specifically because you don't ONLY talk about kids. Also because I love quinoa and there's no shortage of it here. :)
You're awesome. It is impossible to think we don't change and that our changes aren't going to impact our stories. When I started my blog 4+ years ago it was to chronicle our adoption, then it was all about adoption and kids, and now it's a smattering of kids, lots of educational policy talk, and other types of things.
We change and our voices change. I love you voice and your authenticity.
I just love this post so much.
Steph
I just want to say that it is refreshing to read a mommy blog that is not all about kids! I mean, I love kids! I love my kid! But I am a better mommy if I keep my own interests alive... like fashion and music and weird short films.... And being a mom is a common denominator here, but that's as far as it really goes. It's super interesting to find out different things about other moms out there- and super inspiring to hear about how other moms keep their creative minds alive in order to be their best selves. I think that's a pretty strong example to set for our lovely lovely kids. Keep it coming Rebecca!
you write beautifully whether it is about fashion or music or your life or your children. And you never need apologize for changing and growing and shining the spotlight on new things so that others can rest in the dark. Why should this blog be the same as it was 5 years ago? you are not he same - is anyone the sme person they were 5 years ago? With the same interests and feelings and thoughts, regurgitated over and over? boring.
You stay the vibrant, creative, inspiring person you are. I'll be here reading whatever you choose to share.
I am a huge Liker of your blog. Your posts are very relatable to the aspects of my life; mother, lover of music & fashion, and more.
I'm amazed at how you've grown through your posts. That's all that we can hope to do in life, continue to grow and flourish.
You are an inspiration to me. I respect and admire your privacy and I'm grateful for your writing. Each and every post is a gift. I mean that in the least cheesy way possible.
I always read but rarely comment. I'm more likely to harass you on Twitter than I am to click through my Google Reader to leave a comment. Because I'm lazy. Not because I'm not enjoying. I know there is no responsibility to comment, la la la, but there you go anyway.
I love GGC in all its forms, and I love reading what you have to say, no matter what you're writing about. So there.
i think most of us know from metamorphosis. you speak to me as a woman first. always have. bonus that your kids show up and you talk about them (since they're so damn smart/cute/fabulous/ridic awesome,) but i come here for you, bec.
you.
so jam on it, i say.
ja-ja-ja-ja-ja-ja-ja-ja-jam on it
I'm a fairly new reader but I love everything about your blog. I love that your identity is found not only in being a "mom" (although this is an awesome and unbelievably important calling) but also found in art, music, style, friendship, etc.
I love your site. You hit every chord for me, mother, wife, daughter, woman, girl and writer. Keep it up, I'll keep coming back.
beautiful
I love this because it takes massive balls to admit that you want to find your way back to you.That you are a mother and in all its glory, you are still the woman that was there before the children came along, perhaps changed and softened but still as fierce and feisty as ever ( on the inside).You go and make the world your bitch...it can be all that you want, you only have to ask and be open to it!
This is so healthy. Good for you. I was just yesterday recalling when things started to 'open up' for me, when my daughter was around 18 months old. I'm in the thick of that beautiful, consuming role again with my infant son, but I know it will open up once more, and I will be able to burnish those other facets of myself too. Keep it up! You're still my favorite!
I've loved the transformation of your blog. Let the haters hate-- keep doing what you do so well.
For what it's worth, I absolutely LOVE what your blog has become. I started reading GGC after finding it through Momversation (I don't even have kids, I just became fascinated with this sort of secret mom world for a while). Oddly, you have exactly the same taste in clothes, music, food and literature as me, and I've loved discovering new things through your blog. Not to mention the fact that you write beautifully. I love your perspective of yourself as a writer about lots of things who also happens to have kids. Anyway, I'm going to continue reading as long as you have this blog.
Change is the only constant. Keep up the good work Rebecca. I enjoy your blog more and more with every post.
your blog is awesome...i stumbled upon it when you were posting your name choices for Fable that you weren't going with...and then I saw that Archer is a few weeks older than my son...I kept coming back and still do all the time! you seem like a girl i could actually hang out with, you are always you, not just a mom...that is something i strive for in my life. and look for in my friends.
on a totally random note...my mom passed away earlier this year and after somethings had been taken care of, my dad and sisters started calling family and friends to let them know...i overheard my dad tell his friend..."she's gone, the girl is gone..." that statement is burned into my psyche for the rest of my days...
please keep being you...
Any time I start thinking you can't possibly get any more narcissistic, you never fail to prove me wrong.
"Women's Lifestyle Magazine!"
ROTFLMFAO
Oh, please, Anon 4:20, I said PERSONAL lifestyle... As in my personal LIFE...style. But please continue to come here to ROTF and LYFAO. LYLAS.
And Anon, 3:31 - sorry to hear of your mother's passing. I cannot even imagine how difficult that would be. Sending you love, girl. xo
And than ALL of you, again, for your support, words, honesty, love, awesome, et al. So grateful.
i think people read u because of your quality as a person. your writing is always inspiring. hpw many parenthood talks can one have? we are many things. i am glad u embrace that. keep writing!
I have been reading your blog since Archer was just over a year old. We are the same almost to the month. I have a three year old boy and a girl who will be two in Feb. Your transition feels so right on to me. I am experiencing the same thing myself. Good for you for being who you are. Who you feel you are now. We are all changing all the time. Acknowledging it, embracing it and learning from it are the best things we can do. I love the new directions. I love the sappy life stories too, but I understand why you don't want to bare all all the time anymore.
I flipping love your blog and have loved watching your tales and story-telling style evolve. Girl's Gone Style, Eat Well = highlights of my week!
No explanation necessary as far as I'm concerned. I wept right on with you while reading your last post about Archer. And then I found joy in your style posts - because they create community and because they've encouraged a lot of us moms to come back out of the private sphere in style!
This is your vessel. There is clearly something continuing to draw us all here, and I'm not sure why those who don't get it would come back anyway.
I should have said "thank" up there, not "than"... THANK x infinity.
Some days I think you write your life just for me to read. I didn't start reading you because you had kids or because you were clumped into this mommyblogger category. I read about your life because you are enjoyable and easy to relate to and fabulous. Your honesty helps give me the strength to own up to my own misinterpretations and missteps and misuse of words.
So come, so go, so change, so stay the same and we will do the same.
Hugs!
thank you for leaving the building. or thank you for leaving the girl behind and becoming a woman who happens to have kids, who writes about all of it. i treasure your blog, because it is NOT *just* a mommy blog. 1.5 years into my first dip in the mama pond, I am trying to figure out what it looks like to be a kick ass lady who just so happens to have a kid. thank you for a million quinoa recipes, introducing me to the head and the heart, reminding me how much i used to like thrifting/vintage shopping but most of all, for being honest about your own faults and doubts and fears. we owe to each other to be that real, but few people are. keep doing what you do, in whatever form it takes, i'll be here, reading.
you're awesome. i'm rapt--can't wait to keep reading & see what's ahead!
if you were still writing the same stuff you were a few years ago i'd wonder why a mid 20's woman was acting like a teenager. i don't like the food stuff because i don't like that food. maybe one day i will and i'll be happy to have recipes to refer to. but who cares? if i can't relate to what you're writing then i'll move on to a blog i can relate to. but i think you're funny and fun and wear cute clothes and have cute kids. but honestly, who cares about that either? that's my opinion and i don't expect you to base your life on what i think about you. people are so critical. i read those comments that they leave you and i think really?? really?? and they keep coming back and commenting! they must be bored.
Do your thing lady. Haters gonna hate. xo
Archer who?
I'm so fucking sick of mommy talk, Rebecca.
Yes, it makes me cry hot, throaty, knowing tears, and it made me *get* you.
But it sure as shit wouldn't keep me here.
More cute shoes! More booze-fueled weekends! More food!
There is more to this gig than sentimental sonnets.
xo
Rebecca I love the new direction you are going in! I love learning about you as a person, your thoughts, everything outside of being a parent, even though I love your posts about parenthood, too! You are fantastic and don't let people get you down. You are great writer and people are genuinely interested in what you're saying/doing. You are just being true to yourself and it shows. You're better because of it.
Can someone give me a good link to the post referenced in the first sentence? Link doesn't work for me.
Hey, Meggo. Sorry about that. Link has been changed. You can click it now. Again, my apologies!
As a new mom, I find it a little overwhelming how much of myself I've "lost myself" to the all-consuming lil baby daughter of mine. I like the changes in the blog because it helps me realize that after she's a little bigger my passions and interests are going to come back.
"Without deviation from the norm, progress is not possible." (Frank Zappa)
Rock on, kiddo, rock on.
I like GGC 2.0. I'm not sure that I would have identified as much with the older version. I enjoy reading about a mom who has a whole world of personality and interest separate from her kids.
Becoming a parent means finding a whole new balance... and striving for that balance constantly. You inspire me to find mine.
B. YOU! The you today may not be the one you were yesterday. But change is good!!
I quietly enjoy your poignant writing— and look forward to its evolution. So I leave you with this quote:
"I believe that when you realize who you really are, you understand that nothing can stop you from becoming that person." ~ Christine Lincoln.
Happy New Year!
for what it's worth, I second-third-300th the sentiment that the evolution is awesome. i've been reading religiously since before i started *thinking* about getting pregnant and now, with a 12 month old, i see in every post the reminder that a great mom is actually just a happy person with interests and passions and a sense of humor. you write beautifully and that quinoa-huevos rancheros recipe from way back? a total fave.
Chiming in to say that I look forward to the continued evolution of this website. it's your creation and it should reflect who you are and what you want it to be.
This is interesting that I am such a fan of your blog and read it regularly but have never commented until now. I think that whether your posts are about children, weekends with girlfriends, or food, what your readers enjoy is your wit, humor and accessibility. You are down to earth and entertaining.
Just to be fair and honest though, I'm not a mother. I'm 22 years old, working a dead end job and living in Minneapolis/St. Paul MN. I am reading your book and getting a heaping load of entertainment, laughter and thoughtful moments. Thank you thank you thank you!
Whomever claims your posts are not heartfelt should try writing a blog of their own; putting yourself out there for the world to interpret and judge is such a daunting endeavor.
GGC is my lifeblood. As a 24 year old full time nanny for 5 children (with two doctor parents who hardly give them the time of day) you remind me of myself. My life has changed drastically so fast and so wonderfully and I don't think I could have rolled with with the punches without having learned from what you've shared.
Thank You.
Personally, I love the redesign. You were sounding kind of burnt out for a while, and I'm pro any and all things that keep you writing. Plus I love the new features -- fashion, food and music. Yes please! It's inspiring (much more so than an actual woman's magazine). And one of these days I'll start posting to the Gone Style feature (just need to get a good pic).
Thanks for changing it up and continuing to rock my favorite blog.
I've read GGC for over four years now, cried through Rockabye, and will continue to read. I've noticed a change in your writing. And I've assumed that means that you've changed, grown. As we are meant to. I think you're great :)
I am a mom, and I am more than a mom. You are a mom, and you are more than a mom. I would hope that other moms are also able to be moms, but also so much more than a mom. We are people. Variety is good. I am really digging what you've got going on here now.
Just as friends, relationships, and people change, so do the bloggers we fall in love with on the screen.
If people grow apart from you, as a relationship sometimes grows distance, then so be it. There will be people who stay because they love you, and new people more interested in the woman you are now who will take their place.
Just be you, whoever that is today.
That's who we love anyway.
I meant to comment earlier (wow! 128 comments!) and I wanted to sat that I've been enjoying the direction you've been going and I'll continue to follow you!
You're such an amazing writer -- you really write such truth. Keep on evolving!
Rebecca, you are so wonderfully, refreshingly honest and I could hug you for it! I am where you were a few years ago; I am 23 and have a toddler son. But unlike you, I am a single mama (an accomplishment in itself; sometimes the worst relationships are the hardest to leave. But it was best for me and for my son).
I like that you include fashion in your blog... you have been a reminder to me that my life is NOT OVER because I have a kid. (On a side note, other "mommy blogs" get annoying because at the end of the day, there are only so many stories you can stand about other peoples' kids). Thanks for reminding me that I'm still me. I'm still cool. I'm still into fashion. I also happen to have a kid! I really, really, really hope you continue with "Good Wear Days." I'm not ashamed to admit that they were one of the highlights of my weeks.
xxx
Brilliantly written. I struggle with how long I'll keep telling stories about my 7YO daughter. I struggle to respect her privacy while capturing the preciousness of the memories as the tales of her life unfold.
Whichever direction you evolve, or revolve, just make sure to keep putting it down in writing. Your words resonate and your voice is refreshing.
I am definitely one of the ones who misses the "old" posts, but I understand that you wanted to take a different direction. Having read your book and previous work, however, I can say with confidence that I know your capacity as a writer extends far, far beyond the quinoa recipes and makeup tutorials and outfit photos. And I look forward to reading future works that demonstrate that capacity. I know they're in you.
i didn't even consciously notice the "change". I am loving GGC more than ever these days and I think it must be because I am also ready for something else other than parenting. I am totally inspired by WWW and the style posts. You are great! Your writing is perfect to me. Don't "change" a thing. :)
Just started reading you, so I have basis to judge your writing.
But--wow. I needed to read this! The same weekend you wrote this, I ended my blog because being so confessional was blowing up in my face and sucking the life out of me. I hated each and every anonhole comment calling me depressed and bitter when really? I was just venting MY TRUTH!!!
I'm so glad Babble recommended you. Thanks for this post--you've inspired me to want to rework my blog instead of abandon it.
I started blogging back in 2000, and had a similar experience... It started as a cathartic place where I could write openly. The more people that started reading, the less subjects I felt I could write frankly about.
10 years later, I have a water-downed version of my original blog. I kind of miss the days when I wrote it just for me and a bunch of anonymous internet nerds.
I think that's just the life cycle of a blog, unfortunately.
If I ever started another, I think I'd keep myself anonymous forever.
Yours is the first blog, 'mommy' or otherwise, I ever read. My son was just a few months old, I was 25, alone and nervous, and needed to connect somehow to someone. I've never commented but have read nearly every post you've published. I feel I owe you a huge THANK YOU! I've laughed out loud, wept quietly, and sang some of your reconditioned rhymes (I'm pretty bad-ass when the lights are off and I'm the only one home!).
My son is now 4 1/2 and I have another 7 month old and I must say, GGC is the blog I continue to check in with BECAUSE it has evolved. I've changed, my interests aren't nearly as kid-centric, and I want to talk/read about things other than the latest hot topic in mommyhood. I'd venture as far as to say you're sharing even more of yourself by branching out and away from the original concept here. I, as a reader, consider myself lucky to have found such an open, honest, funny, intelligent person who's willing to share as much as you do. Again, thank you and keep 'em coming in whatever the hell form you want!
Katherine
Rock on. You get to be you. I don't have kids. Hope to one day. I'll read your blog as long as you write one. It is a treat. Love WWW recipes. Dig your fashion sense. Welcome your heart when you decide you'd like to share. Your call. Change, evolve. It inspires me. As proof, I am taking a class this spring in interior design. Well you and my 68-year old father-in-law who began drum lessons this year... because he loves' em. Thank you!
I am just reading you for the first time, and quite frankly I'm taken aback at the comments. The writing is contrived, the photos of the children and you in overly styled outfits, and the recipes. It's all so desperate and painfully manufactured.
I found your blog yesterday, and I've read up to here in the meantime (yes, in addition to caring for my 2 little ones, running a business and making one serious Thomas the Tank Engine cake in the meantime!!). Just wanted to say you're awesome. The fact that you make light of being a Mum, without forgetting about being the girl that we all were before becoming parents, is so special. I love your style, your kids are adorable and I can't wait to read you next post. You're almost even making me clucky for that extra babe seeing how amaxing your own journey's been so far.
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