I feel like I've talked about this moment a thousand times before and I'll likely talk about it a thousand times again but here we go, another conversation about the "fuck me, I'm pregnant" moment. What's funny is that when I found out I was pregnant with Fable, even though the circumstances were so totally different, in a way I was equally terrified. Excited, yes, but also terrified. Because no the matter, beginnings are a nervous thing. Setting off on new adventures with backpacks stuffed with question-marks...
Behold, our momversation:
...It would be impossible for anyone to deny the clusterfuck of emotions and disbelief that finding out one is pregnant causes, no matter the circumstances, planned or unplanned, prepared or taken totally by surprise. Pure, you've-got-to-be-shitting-me-emotional-whoa.
And between you and me, I can't wait to feel that again someday.
*EPT from Starworks Artists on Vimeo.
Where were you when you first found out you were about to be a parent? What was that moment like? I'd also like to invite those who have adopted children to partake in this conversation. I'm pretty sure the shock and awe is universal, no matter how we come to be mothers and fathers.
GGC
*The above video is a spec-ad my friend, David shot of his wife and him when she found out she was pregnant with their first babe. They just had their third child together and could not be cuter. Seemed appropriate here so I thought I'd share.
75 comments:
Hmmmm ... two different points in time, actually. I had a very funny, strange feeling when we went to the Easter Sunday service in March 2008--somehow, totally elated and all that. Two weeks later, I peed on a stick, in my weekly hotel room 270 miles from home, and voila! the confirmation of what I already sorta knew. My first reaction? PANIC! Unadulterated PANIC! Then I took a cellphone pic of the pee stick and sent it to TBIK, who replied "Woohoo! Right? Woohoo?"
I started putting my symptoms together as I pulled into a Walgreens parking lot. Then I went to my home and huddled down in my bathroom. The lines were apparent immediately, so I took about 3 more tests and was so angry at myself. Totally unprepared living back in newly opened New Orleans, boyfriend miles away in Iowa, and living with single roomates. Now, it's the best thing that could have happened to us.
I found out I was going to be a mom while in the dentist's chair. My husband and I had started the adoption process, only to have our first opportunity fall through. When he got the call that we were matched with a birth mother who was giving birth in ONE WEEK (ahhhh!), he tracked me down at the dentist's office to tell me the amazing news. A week later, we were traveling cross-country to meet our son, who is now eight months old. Oh, and I still don't have any cavities.
:) This is a great topic!
Well! I'm 9 weeks pregnant with my first baby! Hooray!
Totally unexpected and surprising - but not for the reasons you'd think!
I had just picked up all of my meds for my first cycle of IVF. I'd spent hundreds of dollars on all of these chemicals that I was going to pump into my body. I was mortified, but after 2 years of heartache, a miscarriage and being told that it was 'unlikely' that I would ever concieve again naturally, I was ready to try anything.
So, I was due to start medications on a Saturday. On the wednesday prior to this, I decided to use up all of the pregnancy tests that were in my house, just so that I wouldn't be tempted to test too early after IVF.
So, I peed on the stick and casually watched the little window. Yep. There's the first line. I shrugged. Oh. Oh? Huh? Wha? And there, clear as day was a second line.
"Pfft" I thought... "Not likely!" So I dismissed it - just like that. Thought nothing of it until the next morning, when I thought, ha! Why not use another stick?
And sure enough.... 2 lines. As I sat on the floor of the bathroom, my husband interstate on business, I placed my hand where my tiny, little life was beginning. It was surreal.
My husband flew home on the Friday and over dinner I told him that I'd called the IVF clinic and cancelled the cycle. His jaw DROPPED. "What? Why? Huh?.....Wait....are you........ PREGNANT!?!?" He even did the Home Alone hands on cheeks pose.
It was the HAPPIEST of happy times.
Only 30 odd weeks to go now!
I was 19 years old and I took the test as kinda a joke - b/c I was feeling weird but I was on birth control... well surprise! I just remember standing there looking at the pee stick ... then being at the Daddy's work all of a sudden ( I have no idea what happened in the time it took me to drive ) and I walked in the door and just kinda blurted out " I hope you're ready to be a Dad!". Yeah, classy.
I decided to take a test one Friday afternoon on my lunch hour so I could have a few drinks over the weekend without the "what if..?" hovering over my head. I had taken all previous tests at home with my husband in case there was Big Happy News, but this time around I was so sure there'd be nothing (that stupid ovulation predictor kit said I hadn't even OVULATED that month, the lying whore!) that I went and bought a test on my lunchtime walk, and went into the bathroom of the local library (a huge, beautiful old building) to take the test. I nearly fell against the side of the stall when the second line appeared almost immediately. I ran to my husband's office a mile away & shared the happy news. Ahh.
With my 4th child, I realized it while driving my son to nursery school one day. (We'd been kinda sorta trying for a short while.) I had picked up my daily Mountain Dew (my much-loved poison of choice) and we were driving along happily to school. I cracked open the soda and took a drink. "Hmm. Yuck. That doesn't taste like it's supposed to. I bet I'm pregnant." After dropping him at school, I picked up a test at the drugstore and confirmed my suspicions at home.
My first "pregnancy discovery" occurred at home and was pretty standard--elation, bewilderment, disbelief. The second took place in the bathroom of a Santa Barbara bakery I frequented on my work breaks, and it was weird because I was both sad (my husband and I had decided to split up the night before) and happy (we'd been trying for another baby--I know...crazy). We decided to give our relationship another shot, which was a relief, but oh. my. god., I was such an emotional wreck! Crying at work all the time--HAPPY!...sad...HAPPY!...sad...
Definitely very intense...
I have a confession: I so totally thought you were about to announce you're pregnant. LOL
I got pregnant on our first month trying, so while it was on purpose, it didn't make that moment any less terrifying. I think my heart stopped and dropped to my feet for a moment. When I showed my husband the test, he was like, "What's that noise? Wait, is that your heart pounding?" He could hear it half a foot away, outside my chest.
Those, "Oh crap, you can't undo this" moments are simply terrifying.
We found out on my husband's 22nd birthday in our tiny apartment by his college. We were very excited, but at the same time extremely nervous-- this was our 5th pregnancy in 3 years. I remember being unsure about telling him in the first place, because I didn't want him to be upset again when I miscarried.
Today we are celebrating our son's third month of life and the day we conceived him one year ago :)
I remember like it was just yesterday, my daughter turned 1 last week.
I definitely knew before taking the test, something was different. Pregnancy was a total surprise for us and we didn't feel in any way prepared or ready. My husband and I had been dating for a year and it felt like we broke up every week. We lived in an apartment with 5 other people, I remember making him walk to the store with me to buy a test. I took it and there was no doubt it was positive, I remember telling him we needed to talk and just holding the test up in front of him, he didn't even say anything.
It was so surreal, overwhelming and shocking. I remember thinking for weeks, how can we possibly parent? Can we do this? We can't even have a normal fight without breaking up.
Everything since that moment has been a whirlwind of amazingness.
I'm now 14 weeks pregnant with my first child, so this is a rather timely topic for me! Our plan was to start "trying" in earnest this August or September, but in mid-July I realized I was a few days late and decided to take a pregnancy test, not really expecting it to be positive. It was. I actually went to work and didn't tell him until we met up for dinner that night before seeing a show, and even though we were married and planning on this, it was one of the sweatiest moments of my life. That weekend we went to a BEER FESTIVAL and then to a wedding with his family and then to Amsterdam, so I became very practiced at making up excuses for my new-found sobriety. It honestly didn't feel real and exciting until we could start telling our friends and family. I couldn't be happier now, but in those early days it was so surreal and scary (and sometimes still is).
In the bathroom, over four years ago, on an early Tuesday morning, with then boyfriend, now husband, still in bed. After a year of trying and multiple, multiple, many negative tests, this one furiously and immediately got all double-lined on me. I wasn't freaked, I was so ready and ecstatic.
The second time, this spring, early Tuesday evening, same bathroom, husband and son watching TV together. Planned, but much less focused on "trying". Happy but also really freaked out and scared we had bitten more than we could chew. Took me maybe a month to get over this feeling. But of course I got over it, and now I. CAN'T WAIT. Our daughter is due in November.
We tried for years, unsuccessfully. Then we tried 2 rounds of IVF, neither of which got us a positive. I was tired of seeing my body as a failing machine and enrolled in a yoga teacher training program in Costa Rica. 2 weeks into the training, when I didn't get my period, I went into the little town and bought a pregnancy test. I had no trouble sleeping the night before my morning pee test because I had seen nothing but negatives for years. But something led me to buy that test. I got up in the morning, lazily peed on a stick, and then saw my first positive. It was 5 in the morning (meditation started just after 6), and it was just me and my two roommates crying our eyes out. Imagine the phone call I made from the rainforest to my husband in the cold Canadian winter back home! Total disbelief.
The little dude turned 1 yesterday.
I was in my bathroom - totally cheating because I was supposed to wait until Monday to test and it was Saturday. My husband wasn't home and I really wanted to find out when I was by myself, to have time to really let it sink in and then come up with a cute way to tell him. We'd been trying for 4 months and I'd been dreaming of having a baby since I was about 4 years old. When I saw that blue cross appear, I started laughing. I was giddy with joy. I ran to tell my dog and I cried the happiest tear ever. That day was awesome. 8 weeks later, we lost our first baby. I'm impatiently waiting to tell the story of the next time I'm giddy with joy.
On vacation-- 16 dpo. One month after a miscarriage that was the result of the first pregnancy I'd had in 3 years of trying. It was the 3rd and last pregnancy test I intended to take. It was the last time I ever intended to try. I was already $4000 into starting the domestic open adoption process with an agency.
I sat on the edge of the bathtub, then slid into it, shook and bawled. I wanted it so bad, and the test was so faint. I felt like if I lost this pregnancy, this chance, I'd never recover from it. I was terrified at having a chance at something I wanted to desperately.
I was at home, in my bathroom, really early in the morning. Rob and I had to get up at the "Amish crack of dawn" (as my mom likes to say), and I'd gotten up even EARLIER, because I didn't want Rob to know I was taking a pregnancy test.
I'd already had a negative test a few days earlier, but still...no period. The test I took that morning was positive, but I kept it a secret - from my husband even! - for about a week. I just didn't really believe it.
With my first, I was scared out of my mind! I was 20yrs. old and had been with my boyfriend (now husband) for a little over 2yrs. I was a couple days late, but didn't think much of it because I was on birth control. We had decided I should just take a pregnancy test just to clear our minds - so one day I went over to his house (we were both still living with our parents) and took a test - we were so sure it was going to come up negative - so while I took it, he got on the computer to play a video game!!! When I saw the double lines, I was in SHOCK (to say the least!!!)! I went back into his room and started crying. Abortion never crossed our minds and so in 9 months we pulled it together - he got a good job, we got an apartment and had our son. We've now been together almost 10yrs. and have another child. Its so weird to remember how it all started because we are in such a different place now!!
Funny you should post this. I am pregnant with my 4th child and only recently recovered from the shock; okay, so I am still reeling from the idea of a 4th baby, but six months later I am finally excited, rather than terrified...
A "cluster fuck" of emotions is putting it lightly:)
The second time I found out I was pregnant, wasn't as scary (until I actually went to the doctor)! My husband and I had been married for 2yrs. and our son was 3yrs. old. We decided to try for a second. I got pregnant the first month that we tried - but it took awhile to find out!! I was 7 days late, so I took a pregnancy test and it came up negative. 4 days later, I was still late and took another test. And it was another negative. I waited another few days and took ANOTHER test and this time (FINALLY!) my test came up positive! I went into the doctor a couple weeks later (when they told me I would be 8 weeks along) and they couldn't find a heartbeat. Instead of telling me different ideas of what it could be, the doctor just told me, "You're having a miscarriage and you're going to start bleeding any day now - come back in a week for a check up." I went home and cried for the whoooole week, but never started bleeding. I went back to the doc. the next week and when they did an ultrasound, they saw the heartbeat! Then she told me, "Oh, you just aren't as far along as I thought you were - thats why we couldn't see the heartbeat last week." I was SO relieved but at the same time, SO upset with the doctor for not telling me a week earlier that that was an option as well.
I was sitting in a college class when I got a text message from a family member telling me the state was going to take her kids. I walked out, mid lecture, to call my husband.
Ten hours later we were home with a 2 year old and an 11 month old.
The shock and awe kicked in just under a year later when the adoption was finally completed and I realized how stressful and intense the whole thing really had been.
Wow, Kait. Can't even imagine. Just, wow.
The first time-in Florida, far from my boyfriend, running a booth at a Renaissance Faire by myself, wondering why the hell I wanted no beer but as much Thai food and Taco Bell as I could shove down my throat.
The second time-on my couch, when he turned to me and said, Mo, you are not sick, You're Pregnant.
Melody - wow. I want to hug you after reading your story! And congrats, pregnant ladies! Whoa! Kisses on your bumps!
We were about to leave for a trip to Mexico with my parents when I took my first test. Negative. So, I grabbed a handful of tampons and two more tests and went to the airport.
I tested twice while I was there...a day after we got there, and two more days after that. Lo and behold, pregnant! So, I found out in Puerto Vallarta, with the sound of the ocean in the background on the best vacation of my life. :)
I was at work and after feeling 'off' for a few hours, I took a break and went to CVS. I bought a pack of cigarettes and a pregnancy test.
After seeing the positive results in the bathroom 10 minutes later. I said 'shit', threw the unopened smokes away and cried.
The best thing that ever happened to me....ya know, after the "what the hell do we do" and "what the hell are we doing" part of pregnancy and raising a child.
I was in the hospital and the doctors had just told me my mother would probably pass away after surgery. I needed to give my mom something to live for. I had been told before for many years I would have a difficult time getting pregnant because of a misshapen uterus, but for some reason that day I just had this feeling. I took a test, with my husband in the bathroom of a hospital and waited and waited. At first only the pregnancy line on the test strip came up and not the test line, so I had to take another one. The second test I took I got 2 pink lines. PREGNANT! I ran into tell my mother. She promised she’d make it though and she did. I have a beautiful 1 year old girl who is a little miracle.
Rebecca, this is so timely because I am two days away from getting on a plane to go meet my daughter in Ethiopia. We were on a waiting list for a baby girl, but I saw our girl's face on the waiting child list our agency has and knew I couldn't just pass her by. The problem was that she was three years old, and NOT a baby. My husband and I had agreed to pursue adoption of a baby first and an older child later. But when he saw her photo, he felt the same way I did, and on a Friday evening we submitted the form to review her information. We spent the whole weekend fretting about whether someone else asked about her first or if this might be our little girl, and finally on Tuesday, the call came that we could review her information. We didn't need to review it; we knew she was our girl. We were so delighted to surprise all our friends and family with the news that we were getting a ready made, active, somewhat sassy three-year-old. Our announcement on our adoption blog is here: http://findingmagnolia.wordpress.com/2010/06/16/oh-such-joy/
I feel like we have gone through a lot of the same emotions other new parents go through--happiness mixed with uncertainty mixed with mourning the life we've been living, mixed with being hardly able to contain our excitement at meeting our daughter. The whole thing still feels unbelievable to me. We are nervous and we are overjoyed and we sometimes cry for no reason. I'm pretty sure that means we are going to be parents.
5 years ago this week I found out I was expecting in the bathroom of Target!
It was a month after my 3rd miscarriage and we. Were. Done. 3 years of trying everything except for IVF (because we couldn't afford it) and 3 miscarriages were enough for me.
But Fate had other plans.
I decided to test before going to dinner with my girlfriends so I could enjoy the wine without worry. When the double lines popped up immediately I started sobbing and called my husband first then my RE. I thought for sure we were doomed for failure again.
Scorch is a kick-ass 4 year old pre-schooler!
Crying, marymuses. Wow. Amazing. I'm so excited for you and will absolutely be following your blog to read more about your journey. CONGRATULATIONS! What a lucky daughter you are soon to have in your arms.
I had been feeling sort of off the whole week. Thought, maybe the whole pregnant thing could have been occurring...one afternoon i was very out of it and ended up totally driving into a parked car. After handing off all of my insurance to the "less then impressed" owner of the now smashed car, I drove to the drug store for my pee stick.
Sure enough, positive.
Which was the best grade on any test I've ever taken. Placed bun in the oven and told my hubby to come in cause I smelled gas coming from the stove. He opened the door and said..no gas, but there's a gross bun or something in here...hahaha, didn't quite clue in right at first, but when he did, it was one of the most magical moments of our marriage.
Alissa
The McDonald's bathroom on Market Street in Philadelphia. March 19, 2005, I was 21, a junior in college. My friends from New Orleans had flown in the day before and although we had not seen each other in three years, they both insisted that there was "something different about me"... That day I dropped them off at a restaurant, parked my car, passed a CVS, bought a test, went into the McDonald's bathroom. My girl will be 5 in November, and I'm still recovering.
My husband and I had been trying for almost a year. The month I got pregnant I had been doing an ovulation test kit, but I ovulated when we had company staying over at our tiny 1 bedroom apartment, so I thought for sure we would miss that month for trying. Luckily we convinced our company that it was a great idea for them to go take a walk one afternoon. We got in a quick, but apparently effective try. A few weeks later I learned that I was pregnant. Yay! But the big shocker and roller coaster of emotions came when I was at my first OB appointment and learned that I was having TWINS! I sobbed like a crazy person for 5 solid minutes with joy, terror, shock and excitement. I'm 19 weeks with my precious twins now, and I can't wait to meet them :)
I am currently trying to get pregnant, so I can't tell you how I feel yet but I can tell you that every pregnancy test I take, I feel completely numb. Not scared, or anxious, or excited...just nothing. I'm not sure if it's normal and I don't really care, but I want it so much that I think going blank is my way of protecting myself for the negatives.
oct 2007 on vacation, I used to live in Brazil and we came to miami beach (were I happen to live now) for some time off.. I was feeling weird, went to CVS once, went back to the hotel after using 3 sticks I was still not sure if it was positive so I got back to CVS and got some more from other brands (crazy, right) and after 10 sticks I was pretty sure it was positive LOL..
now after my IUD fell out in the beginning of 2010 I`ve done the same thing a couple of times.. but so far my girl is not getting a sister/brother :( / :)
I'm pretty sure I was at home when I 'knew.' My period always came on the same date (the 14th at the time) and that day came and went. At first I thought (hoped) that it was shifting to another day...but no. On the 17th of September, two years ago, I peed on a stick and then yelled at it to "THINK ABOUT IT" when the results became clear immediately. I was 30 and newly married but I still didn't think I was ready for a baby.
I was so wrong. I wouldn't trade my son for anything and I've never been happier.
The first time, I had been working as a nurse in an IVF clinic for several years before I got pregnant. Let me tell you, seeing so many women struggling so hard to have families can cause some paranoia about your own fertility. My husband and I had been trying for a few months, and when we didn't get pregnant, I asked a colleague to draw my blood daily to check for ovulation. Two weeks later, I was due for the pregnancy test, but convinced that I wasn't pregnant AGAIN. Before work I was a crying mess and even started telling my husband that next he had to get tested, and figuring our how to smuggle his semen sample into the clinic. But when my colleague drew my blood again, the test came back positive. My daughter is now 6 and in first grade.
The second time, I was no longer working at the IVF clinic, and so had to pee on a stick like everyone else. I was already exhausted and sick, before my period was even due. So I figured either I was pregnant, or there was something seriously wrong with me. Luckily, it was the first. My son is now 3.
Everybody predicted my pregnancy before me. I had irregular periods for years, often times going six months without one, so when I didn't get mine for three months, I figured "oh, we're back here again. Whatevs."
I had been taking birth control religiously and was out for a week (I was too caught up in work, buying my first car, moving in with the future husband, etc). I went to refill the prescription at Planned Parenthood and was rejected because I needed an appointment. For some reason that same day I went to buy a pregnancy test.
And sure enough, that night all the burritos and all the sudden distaste for alcohol and cigarettes became clear- I was pregnant and scared out of my mind. I had never wanted children, certain I was just not mother material, uncertain of where my relationship stood, futures unsecured. I cried. I weighed my options. I rubbed my stomach in disbelief, awe, disgust at being so stupid with a body suddenly so mammalian and then...
I accepted it and called my mom. Two and a half years later I'm still in disbelief, but in the best way.
With my first I thought I had a terrible stomach flu. I couldn't stop throwing up. I tested(while my friend insisted I was paranoid) at home in my bathroom, late at night. It was immediately two lines.. I cried, yelled for my mom(I was 18) and I don't think I fully "got it" until my daughter was a few months old. It was a blur of 9 months where I thought I'd die from malnutrition because I couldn't keep ANYTHING down.
With my 2nd, I was about to go out with the same friend for her birthday. I did it because I had an extra one from the month before when we'd had a scare because I missed a couple pills.. I was on the phone, my now 4 year old daughter in the tub playing watching the window...there were two lines. I stopped breathing. Thought, well this isn't right.. we'll terminate. Yeah, couldn't do it. Got a beautiful son from it and eventually married his dad.
This time(yes, we're on #3) we were trying, had two miscarriages, and I was sure it'd be another negative.. but it was two lines, faint, but there.. So I waited a few hours, tested again, then waited a day and took a digital test.. There was much jumping around and then fear for the next 12 weeks. Now I'm 25 weeks pregnant and we're no longer scared of losing it, and we're comfortably living in thrilled. Finally, a planned pregnancy!
For my 1st pregnancy I was trying for 6 mos. I thought I was sick with the flu. Went to the Dr and the next day he called to say I was pregnant. We were both super excited. I was sitting on my bed, he was at work. I couldn't wait until he got home from work, so I called him and told him. For my 2nd. It happened a month after getting off the pill. We didn't think it would happen so fast. A boy and a girl later (3 yrs apart) they are the loves of my life.
Our first was definitely a surprise. I was on BC pills and had none of the normal signs. I just felt different. So I took a test at work. Yep, at work. The hubs and I worked together and I just couldn't make myself wait. So I found out there, in the restroom. Couldn't keep the smile off my face for the rest of the day even though I was scared out of my mother effing mind.
#2 was also a surprise since I was still breast feeding (our daughter was just 4 months old) but I just knew I was pregnant even without the symptoms. A quick test in our bathroom at home confirmed it and just as before, immediate smile with the ohmygodwearescrewed thoughts.
I didn't figure it out with either until I was 10 and 12 weeks along. Thank goodness I have never been a big drinker.
I was actually more terrified and overwhelmed by my second pregnancy than I was by my first. I think because I knew what I was getting myself into maybe? My first was unplanned and so it was more nervousness about telling my parents and future in-laws and, you know, boyfriend than actually thinking about raising a human being for the REST OF MY LIFE. (That came later, around, oh month 8). But when I got pregnant the second time, I had a 15mo and had JUST started a new job. I felt like everyone expected me to be happy (and I WAS) because we had planned it, were married by then, etc. But secretly, I hid in the bathroom and cried a lot those first few months.
I got pregnant the first month we were trying. My periods have always been super-regular, so I knew when it didn't come on the agreed-upon date that I was likely knocked up. But I waited until the next day (Election Day, 2008) to take a test. I had one at home that I attempted to take first thing in the morning, but am apparently incapable of peeing on a stick first thing in the morning, since I got an error result. So on my lunch break at work, I ran to the drugstore and picked up a 3-pack. I waited until around 3pm and went to the only private bathroom at my office to take the test. More successful this time, and, not surprisingly, I got the double line. I spent the rest of the afternoon in a daze. My husband and a couple of friends and I had planned to have dinner and watch the election results come in, and when I walked in from work, my friend immediately offered me a beer. When I refused, everyone knew I was pregnant, but I threw the positive test on the counter for good measure.
P.S. I did have some celebratory chmapagne that night.
The first time around, I was sitting on the couch after work having a vodka cranberry when I started to feel sick. At that instant, I knew I was pregnant. Booze make ME sick? There was no other answer for it. Turns out, I was right! And only two weeks before our wedding. Damnit! No wedding day boozing for me! I was pissed at the timing, so that kind of overtook the panic for awhile. But it all worked out for the best of course. I didn't realize it then, but I had a pretty serious drinking problem and that all went away when I got pregnant with my son. Thanks Vaughn! xo
I really appreciate that you didn't forget us adoptive parents out there Bec! Last week we marked the year from our referral day (the day your child is assigned to you) and I wrote a post on this very subject. An amazing feeling.
http://notoriousmle.com/2010/09/17/5052/
Before that amazing day, I had survived a horrible ectopic pregnancy and a year of illness, and every month, I felt like I was pregnant, only to test repeatedly and end up not pregnant. I'd been feeling really weird, exhausted, tired, queasy, but I was training for a marathon so chalked up my symptoms to that and nothing else. I kept saying to my boyfriend (now husband) "I'm not going out and wasting money on more pregnancy tests! I'm not pregnant!". When I hit day 29 of my cycle, I finally caved one night and bought some tests. I'd never gotten to day 29 without a period.
The next morning, I peed on the test, then set it down on the tub ledge, wandered off to feed my cats, and forgot I'd taken it until an hour or so later, when I walked back into the room, saw it, and was absolutely, completely dumbfounded to see "Pregnant" in the electronic display window (one of those fancy tests, neato). I was terrified and desperate to tell my boyfriend, who was away on business. I called, texted, and emailed him madly for hours. He was dumbfounded as well!
Our sweet baby boy is 11 months old today, and the best thing that's ever happened to us. :)
Well, both times I got the positive news I was elated and both times the news I got that I was miscarrying just a few weeks later was devestating. We made it almost all the way through our first trimester this last time and to loose another baby (this time while my husband was deployed to Afganistan and I was home with no support system) has just been so difficult. I really pray for a positive result but I feel like I don't even have room to get excited because our babies are always snatched away before they are born... I'm only 25 with no history of women's issues and it's taken us a year of trying and two lost babies to be in the same boat we were in when we started trying a year ago! It's just heartbreaking. When we finally get a positive test that ends up being "the one" we will probably just hold our breath until about 5 mths which is so sad... it makes me want to cry that we can't get excited about having a little one because it hurts that much more when we loose them. Then we have these rollercoaster emotions and we still have morning sickness and all of our symptoms the whole time we are watching our baby dribble out into our panties two weeks at a time... And somehow, these women who find out and announce their pregnancies at 6 weeks or who don't want their babies, never seem to loose them or have any terrible complications! It's just those of us who have been living monkish lives (no alcohol, all organic food, no toxic chemicals, perfect pre-natals) for two years "just in case" that was the month when our little one implanted and we just didn't know we were pregnant yet, who have hoped and prayed for a baby this whole time, who have sobbed alone over the ones they have lost... just those people seem to loose their little ones... One can only hope that the Creator out there has a plan, because right now, it really feels like the plan sucks.
I've had four pregnancies, and each time we've had a few days/weeks of fear an anxiety before finally letting the happy kick in. The first was a total surprise (we weren't trying, very newly married), but we embraced it pretty quickly after the shock. I miscarried a few weeks later, and we were devastated. Devastated.
The second time, we were trying, and even though we desperately wanted a baby, when the test was positive, I was terrified of another loss and how we would handle it. It took a while to be comfortable with being pregnant.
With the third, my older baby was only 6 months old. I don't need to explain why I panicked there.
The fourth was unplanned (do you see a pattern here?) but not unexpected. We were using condoms, had too much to drink at a seriously fun wedding, handed our two kids off to a couple of friends on the dance floor and snuck into another friend's hotel room. Yep, classy, I know. At the time, we didn't care that we didn't have a condom with us, but freaked out a little the next day. When the test was positive a couple of weeks later, we pretty much already knew, but were still freaked out. Our youngest was 9 months old. Yikes.
I keep telling my husband if we ever have another, we are required to jump up and down and squeal with delight, because I hate that my reaction all FOUR times was shock/disbelief/fear/tears/etc. because we love each of our children dearly, and I feel like that is a bad way to start things out. I know that isn't true. But I still want the glee at least once.
All three times for me I was trying to get pregnant. The first time for 2 years, and subsequent times just a couple of months. It is amazing how stunned you feel when you first see that "pregnant" reading. I loved telling my husband and seeing the same shocked pause from him before he broke out into hysterical laughter/oh shit! reactions. Definitely a beautiful experience for me every time!
-Courtney
We had just moved into a hotel (yes, hotel) for the eight weeks during the time between our house being sold and our new one getting finished. I was awake and uncomfortable at 5:00am. We'd had a miscarriage three months before, and had just started trying, so for fun I thought I would fill my boredom with peeing on a stick. It was one of those digital ones. Sitting on the floor of a yellow-brown hotel bathroom, I watched the screen blink as it processed and then suddenly flashed "pregnant." Holy shit. I was terrified and elated all at once. I knew I did not want to go through another miscarriage, but wanted to be a mother so badly. I tiptoed out to the bed where my husband was and shook him awake to tell him. He was so shocked that I even had a test, I don't think he really knew what was going on. Fast forward 3.5 years and our son is a happy, healthy preschooler catching the bus from our now finished house!
I wrote about this on my blog after watching the episode of Momversation the other day. So, instead of trying to retell it, here's the link: http://www.pocoyayo.com/2010/09/how-did-you-react-when-you-found-out.html
:)
The story of me discovering I was pregnant makes me feel very bad about myself. The following month, every waking second, I was stuck in a deep depression, questioning whether or not to have the baby. I was sick with worry, despite being married and living comfortably. I made my decision to keep the baby at a clinic, where I was scheduled to have an abortion. My boy is 15 months old now and I feel completely stupid for handling the news that way. He has changed my life, my outlook, and my drive.
My period was late, but it had been late so many times I really didn't take it seriously. Then I just felt funny Chinese food was freaking me out, I needed naps midday, I had weird dreams. So, I took a test and the second line was there, but just barely. I had no idea what to think, and my husband was convinced this was negative. So, for days I had to just live in 'whatif' hell while I waited to be far along enough to take a digital test. It was "pregnant" and my husband was really great. I realized that the time we had as a twosome was running out, and I felt so scared I started to cry, and he just held me and said everything would be okay.
I'll stick my hand up and admit I thought you were about to announce a pregnancy!
My moment happened last year on 09/09/09. We'd been trying for almost 9 months and I was receiving acupuncture to regulate my wacky cycles. I woke up on the morning of one of my appointments and took a test – the acupuncturist needed to know one way or the other so she'd know where to stick the needles! I looked down and saw one line, felt quite down. I left it for a few minutes and then came back for a just-in-case look. I had to do a double take, sure enough, there was a faint second line! I called my husband into the bathroom to confirm my suspicions – 'Can you see a second line???' 'I don't know, your hand's shaking too badly!' He grabbed my hand, had a close look and his eyes popped out of his head. After a big hug he had to dash off to work but he told me later that he spent the whole trip to work yelling out 'Woo hoo!' in the car ;-)
That was a Wednesday morning. A funny thing had happened the Saturday night previous to this. We were out for dinner with some friends, and while hanging out on the street later with some gelato, we were bailed up by a very wasted (but harmless and entertaining) trannie. In the midst of s spiel about how he/she was related to every single royal family, he/she stopped mid-stream, looked around our bewildered circle and said, 'Who's pregnant?' He/she then carried on with the rest of the rant, but I had a prickly feeling after that!
When I knew I was pregnant the second time was slightly before I found out I was pregnant. My husband and I went to the Balloon Fiesta and I had the overwhelming need for deep fried twinkies. At 4:30 in the morning. All morning long, something seemed amiss, so we stopped by the Target to pick up a test and... LO AND BEHOLD... preggers. We had given up on the idea of having a kid (4 years into our marriage and zero birth control the entire time.)
i was on the phone with my mom (she called me mid-3 minute wait) and ben walked in the door as i was looking at the stick. i was in the middle of our apartment in austin, standing on the sun-dappled saltillo tiles. june 30, 2001. now i want to write about them all.
So funny that you should pose this question today because my babe just turned one ... And this moment of revelation feels like just yesterday!!
The day I found out I was pregnant I was home from work (I'm a teacher and it was Martin Luther King Jr. Day) and all alone. I had to run to the store that morning to (a) buy tampons for the period that was going to begin or (b) buy a pregnancy test. After hesitating in the aisle for a long time, going back and forth between which product to buy, I went with my gut and bought the pregnancy test. When I got home I immediately took it and it confirmed my suspicions. It was SO HARD waiting for the rest of the day until my husband came home from work to let him in on the news. Like you, Rebecca, I can't wait for the next time I'll have that "I'm pregnant!" feeling.
I've read and cherished your blog for the past three years daily.
That being said-
I cant even partake in the discussion here today because I am so appalled by the fact that your blog is featuring a video with Nancy Grace in it.
Nancy Grace.
Really? REALLY? I for one never thought that the beautiful, original, and poetic person you are would ever want to invite the likes of media trash into your readers worlds.
Sorry, but double freaking gross.
The first time - in my husband's bathroom, with him announcing that we were pregnant and would be having a girl (he just knew and was right). It was a lot like when we got engaged - tears, hugs, kisses, then me pacing back and forth, wringing my hands and saying "oh shit" a ton of times.
The second time, my husband raised his suspicions that I was pregnant again while we were walking along the beach with our 10 month old and dog. He said he had this sinking feeling I was and that we'd be having a boy. We weren't trying, weren't even looking to go down that path, but...when you don't use contraception (even just one time), these things happen. Three pregnancy tests later, in the bathroom of my in-laws' beach house, we were convinced. Lots of emotions - anger, dread, confusion, excitement, dumbfounded, denial.
I totally agree with you, Rebecca. My husband and I had been married 4 1/2 years before we started "trying". I took the first pregnancy test the day before my 29th birthday and even though it was positive and I knew I was pregnant (what with the unprotected sex) I still had a WTF moment when I saw the positive test. I didn't even tell my husband until the next day, when we got to celebrate my birthday and our potential new baby with some fake champagne. (Well me, with the fake stuff. Him with the real deal.)
It was an accident and I wasn't really sure. I was sitting on the bathroom floor hyperventilating when I saw that second line. Nice huh? And I can't remember what he said but my partner made some stupid joke, to pull me out of the panic and it worked. I laughed and cryed.
I remember where I was when it ended too but I wish I didn't.
The first time around...I had met my BIL at Costco on the way home from work, picked up a few pregnancy tests. He raised his eyebrows, but said nothing. I knew my sister would be calling that evening for the scoop though!
When I got home, I went right to the bathroom, to pee on the stick. My period was only 1 day late, but my breasts had been aching for 2 weeks, so I was hoping...and yes! A positive test. I promptly threw up in the toilet. My oh-so-wonderful reaction when I'm nervous! I remember my husband was making perogies for dinner that night. Novemeber 17, 2005.
Second time around..March 1, 2009 (funny how these days stick in your head). I realized my period was about 4 day late, so tested with one of those digital test while my husband and son were at church. I couldn't believe it was positive! And no one home to tell! We went out for lunch at my inlaws house that day, and it was killing me not to tell anyone. I could barely eat. I told my husband in the car, coming home from their house. I don't like to tell anyone else until the doctor confirms it.
The bigger moment for me though, was my first ultrasound (second pregnancy) -on Mother's Day. I was joking with the tech, "oh, just checking to make sure there is only one baby"..she was dead quiet. "Wait a minute, is there more than one????" Seeing those two little heads together on the ultrasound screen was the most amazing thing ever.
I found out I was pregnant with my daughter in our tiny bathroom eight weeks after my son's funeral. He was born at 24 weeks and did not survive. Hers was not a planned pregnancy, but I cannot even begin to tell you how much she saved my life.
I was in Cuzco, Peru, and I had just finished a brutal 7-day hike up to 17,000 feet. (It was a new trail that had just become popular with folks who didn't want the more-traveled Inca Trail.) So we got back to Cuzco, and I slept for 14 hours and then woke up and thought, "this is not altitude sickness". I peed on a stick in a cafe off the main square and walked out of the bathroom ready to scream and cry and share the news, but the only people in the place were two old women sitting side by side silently sipping their coca tea. So I ran outside, grabbed a shoeshine boy and asked him to take me to the nearest pay phone. (He was the first person I told, and he congratulated me and asked if I had any names picked out.) My boyfriend was at our local grocery store in New Orleans when I told him. He was elated. Me? Not so much. I had dissertation research to do, was going to be in Lima for 6 more months, was living off a very small fellowship, and I was hormonal and scared. Also, I had just put my body through hell and then drank 100 pisco sours to celebrate at the end of the trail! (My Peruvian friends said, "Eh. Your baby's fine. She'll have strong lungs.") And then there was the fact that we were BROKE and still repairing the damages - physical and emotional - left from the hurricane. But we made it work, just like all the other families that found out they were expecting in the post-Katrina baby boom. Almost four years later, I'm just getting back to that pesky dissertation...
I've loved reading all these comments!
The first time I had a positive pregnancy test: I just dreamed I ate a large pizza and woke up feeling really nauseous. I just kinda knew. I ran to the bathroom to pee on that glorious stick and was so happy when it confirmed my suspicion. Turns out, that pregnancy was ectopic. Since then, I've taken two more positive tests and have two happy healthy little boys running around my feet!
very similar to your's! i always have very irregular periods so i took tests all the time and told my now husband then boyfriend to get me a test when he was on his way home from work. so he brought it to me and he bought the digital and i gave him shit for it because i knew it'd be negative and why waste the money! and so with a digital it beeps when it's done. i was finishing cleaning myself up and it beeped and i looked over and it screamed pregnant at me. well not literally but just reading it it did. and so i washed my hands for a very long time and then i went out and he was on the phone so i tapped him on the shoulder and he gave me the one second finger and so i shoved the test in his face... he got off the phone real quick! and idid the same thing as you. i lit a cigarette and just couldn't do it. i could not inhale it knowing my child was inside me. and now 3 1/2 years later we are trying our damnedest for #2
I had been off the pill for 10 months and my cycles were anywhere from 30 to 50 days apart. I had taken one test before and promised myself I wasn't going to do it again until I was sure. Well, I wasn't sure. Like, at all. In fact, I was expecting more disappointment. But it had been like 10 million days since my last period so I gave it a try. Peed. Left the stick in the bathroom, then made my husband come with me to check it. Little blue plus sign. We just stood there and stared at eachother, mouths agape. Best. Memory. Ever.
Our daughter is almost three now, and I'm hoping to make a similar memory tomorrow...when I plan to pee on a stick again. :)
January 1st 2009. Our friends have a Christmas tree bonfire every year, this year she had a 3 month old, there was a 2 month old there and a l&d nurse. Of course you can guess what all of the girls were talking about. I took a bite of a cookie and gagged (luckily I don't drink). They all told me to buy a test tomorrow.
A week later I did test and it was positive. I started laughing (we had been trying) and then the oh crap, what were we thinking moment happened.
Unfortunately I lost the pregnancy, and felt guilty for the oh no attitude. Since then I've had 2 more miscarriages.
I almost didn't chime in, but really wanted to let the women who have children after multiple miscarriages and those that are adopting after loss, know how much I (and I assume others) need to hear these positive stories. It is EXTREMELY easy to loose hope, as I am sure they all remember. And I need to keep in mind wether it happens naturally or not one day I will get the story of when I found out I was going to be a parent with the child that i will actually get to hold.
Twenty months ago, I was standing in my kitchen, thinking about how I needed to go to Kinkos to make some more copies of paperwork for our adoption agency when the phone rang.
"There's a girl, she's in labor, and she picked you."
We technically weren't even finished with the paperwork yet. But she picked us.
There was nary a diaper or wipe in my house. I didn't have a car seat. I didn't have a crib. And my husband, who is in the military, was about 7000 miles away.
But twenty six hours later, I was sitting across a hospital room from a sweet, brave, beautiful young woman, holding the precious child she was entrusting to my care.
It was perfect.
a little late in the thread but I want to share too, the funny thing is that I am a doctor, been married 2 years and we had not planned to be pregnant for the moment, had BC and all, so when I was not feeling "normal" i went to my friend who is my OBGYN and she did and ultrasound on me and she got very sad and told me there was something abnormal with my ovary and I saw a BIG white spot on it, I CRIED!! all the way home told my husband that I needed to have a urgetn MRI to rule out ovarian cancer. the apointment for that was going to be two days after, but another friend who is not a doctor asked me about my period since we shared the "same week" and she found out that day that she was pregnant, we had shared the same cycle for one year and funny enough on our "ovulation day" had a double date with our husbands and drank a little to much. So I went and had a blood pregnancy test that same day at my hospital and surely enough I WAS PREGNANT!! i just stared at the computer monitor for 10 minutes straight at the words on the screen " congrats form the laboratory staff in big words " CONGRATS DOC!! YOUR GOING TO BE A MOM!! of course I was happy and more so to be pregnant at the same time as my best friend, but IT WAS A SHOCK! and stupid enough being a doctor we went to the worse thing that can happen to an ovary like cancer and not think about the obvious ; corpus luteum I had actually had my first picture of my pregnancy which I know have on CD :) I was blessed, and also tought me even more about being a doctor. My husband was very happy to know that had more life in me than before, my daughter is now 17 months :)
I brought sticks to pee on to my brand-new (to me) office on a Saturday. I had just landed what was supposed to be an amazing job--a tenure-track position in the humanities at a top-20 university--and I had health benefits, a research account, tons of bookshelf space... The second my health benefits kicked in, we started trying.
So there I was, a sunny Saturday, trying to concentrate on writing lectures for the upcoming week. Finally, I gave up and ran down the hall to the bathroom. No one was around. When I saw that second line show up, I could hardly breathe! I was thrilled, terrified, still not quite believing it.
I knew I wanted to call my husband at home right away. But I'm still to this day kind of glad that I had those first few minutes to myself. I went back to my office and sat in my desk chair watching the dusty sunshine through the blinds. And just rested there. I remember now, almost exactly two years later, how still and quiet the room was. I felt almost like I was spinning, a million miles an hour, like somehow my body could *feel* the hasty knitting together of a new life going on inside me, while the rest of the world was at rest.
Those few minutes belonged to me--it was a kind of farewell to the me who went before, and a hello to the new me, to the mother.
I love these comments. Thank you, all.
Oh, Lord, what a day! I found out 9 days before leaving for my freshman year of college. I had been getting sick for about 3 weeks beforehand and had gone to my family doctor's office twice. BOTH times, they told me that I was not pregnant but instead just had a stomach virus. Nice going, doc.
Actually, I got a chance to write about my experience for Philadelphia Weekly, an alternative weekly newspaper. (You can see it here: http://www.philadelphiaweekly.com/news-and-opinion/cover-story/growing_pains-40509567.html) It's so weird to reread it and actually remember how emotional that time of my life was as I struggled with the decision of parenting versus adoption. I went with my heart, which felt strongly about my ability to parent, and I wouldn't trade it for the world.
we had been trying for over a year to get pregnant, and it was approaching a time when i thought maybe it was time to visit the doctor to see if this was going to work for us or not. one morning i woke up and realized i couldn't remember the last time i had gotten my period. i usually write it down but it wasn't on my calendar. did i forget? i couldn't remember. commence happy/excited/nervous/freaking out. a week later my husband and i visited the drugstore and picked up a three-pack of digital readout tests. at home, we kissed at the bottom of the stairs, assured each other the tests would be negative (so we wouldn't be disappointed), and then i went upstairs into the bathroom. a few minutes later... PREGNANT. clear as day. i freaked out, started yelling for my husband, and then we freaked out together. two days later i took another, just to be sure. still pregnant. my husband, ever the pragmatist, decided he should use the third test, just as a control - what if the tests were faulty? his came back a resounding NOT PREGNANT. that was april of 09. now i have a beautiful 9 month old baby girl who is crawling and cruising and eating everything in sight. such a weird, wonderful, trippy experience.
Been pregnant twice before and both times I KNEW I couldn't handle being a mom at the time. NOW...I'm unemployed, living with my boyfriend of 10 years along with his 13yr old daughter, having major relationship issues. Haven't been on birth control for the past year because of a blood clot after ankle surgery a year ago and just figured my period was late because of all the stress. I've been late before. My only symptom was sore boobs which was usual for me before my period. Decided to pee on the stick but didn't have to go so I had to wait...and drink lots of water. FINALLY...that little plus sign came up instantly. I couldn't believe it. Waited a couple hours and took another test...positive again. Oh crap. Oh yay. WTF is he gonna say? Told him the next day after an evening of drama with his daughter. He didn't take it well given our issues and my unemployment. But somehow I know it's right. I know it's the time. I'll figure it out...somehow. YAY!
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