Ed: If you're not familiar, the following post/momversation ep is in regards to this. And this. And this. Okay then...
I know many of you skip the videos when I post them but I encourage you to watch this one if only to hear what Alice says. I wish her entire statement had been included in this video because it was so eloquently put. She's one perceptive cookie, that Alice Bradley. I love her a lot.
Although I understand that women in positions of power and celebrity should watch what they say, they also deserve to be respected for their willingness to speak candidly and honestly about insecurities, fears and yes, body issues. We are far too easily offended by people's personal matters and far too quick to judge and criticize each other's choices. Myself included, I will not lie.
Before I was pregnant I was consumed with the fear that childbirth would make it impossible for me to ever be sexy/sexual/sexually active again. I was paralyzed with fear that my vaginal-situation would stretch beyond recognition and I would spend the remainder of my sexually active life unable to enjoy sex and very sad. Many a pregnancy nightmare I spent dragging my girly bits all around town c/o a modified jock-strap for postpartum 'ginas.
It was awful but I felt silly talking about my fears openly. Instead? I spent months (quietly) freaked the fuck out.
If someone were to have interviewed me pre-pregnancy or even DURING pregnancy, more than likely I would have said far more offensive things re: motherhood/body/life change than Jillian did. I don't think I'm the only one. Because HELLO!?? It's fucking scary! For most of us it's terrifying! And yet? A woman's fear of motherhood and childbirth, body changes/life changes is something, even today, we must whisper about amongst friends at the risk of being blasted by peers, or worse; friends.
Truth be told, I wish more women had the balls (labias? labi-i?) to speak candidly about their insecurities no matter how seemingly bone-headed and neurotic. Because, let's face it! We're all kind of bone-headed and neurotic sometimes! Sometimes even MORE than sometimes. Because, duh! We're emotional humans who laugh, cry and occasionally feel and say disagreeable things! Far more interesting than being a plant, I'd say.
And no, my vag doesn't need a jock strap after two kids. However, I did pee my leggings mid-leap on Archer's Birthday Bouncer:
...So there is that.
GGC
60 comments:
This post brought on the LOLz. You're the best.
So. Very. True.
At this moment I am waiting to give birth, I was due two days ago, and right now I could not care less how my body will look like in a few days, I just want my baby :-)
But that's just me. And that's just me on THIS moment.
Why should we shut up about our insecurities? Why should we NOT talk about how immensely our bodies are changed by pregnancy? How many women are really aware of the risks before they become pregnant? Not even half of them, I think... It seems like nobody is talking about it, except when you're already pregnant. Not that I regret it, on the contrary, personally I knew very well what I was getting into... But maybe we should consider being more open about it to EVERYBODY, and not just to other pregnant women and mothers... This is part of life, know it and deal with it your own way!
Oh God! The peeing. I know. I have to cross my legs when I sneeze. Which is ok when I'm home and no one can see. But standing in the coffee shop? On the corner about to cross the crosswalk? I look awfully silly. On the plus side: my children are pretty great (most days).
Ha! Love the pics. Tell me about it. Speaking of Jillian, whenever I did the 30 Day Shred, I would pee a little on the jumping jacks. Good times.
Anyway, I also love what you have to say about that whole Women's Health shebang. We are all so quick to grab our pitchforks to go attack the metaphorical beast, but sometimes we just need to calm down and think about it for two seconds. None of us have walked in Jillian's shoes. She has an odd life that is centered on her body and image and media, etc. I don't know how I would feel if I were in her position. As it was in my relatively simple/non-media centered life, hell yes I had a whole lot of issues concerning my pregnant and post-partum body. On the plus side, Jillian's admission has opened a whole door to conversations about our bodies as mothers and what we feel about them. Really, we all know deep down it is our world that is screwed up. It makes women consider giving up one of life's greatest, most fulfilling experiences because of this concept that it may ruin their bodies forever and that, in turn, isn't worth it. And that is sad. Post-partum bodies are beautiful even with our stretch marks and funky bladders, I swear! And besides that, the kids. They are freaking amazing (most of the time). :)
I agree with everything you say and yet... It feels different when its someone who has such a huge stage (BUILT such a huge stage) about healthy bodies. Because, it feels like it wasn't really about being healthy, but about fitting society's image of what's attractive. And no, I'm not grabbing my pitch fork. I simply don't care that much (even 8 mos pregnant), but still...
Maybe, coming from a totally different perspective, I see this situation differently.
Im not a Mother. This isnt because I dont want to be one, I would in a heartbeat. Im not a Mother because my ovaries, in thier infinite wisdom decided to spring clean in my 20's and kick all my eggs out instead of waiting for that extra 30 odd years. Bloody ovaries!
Yes I could adopt if I had the many many thousands of dollars needed to do so, instead I tell people I just met (who dont know my history) that we "decided/chose/dont want" children and prefer our dogs. Why do I lie? Its easy and saves all "those" looks you get from Mothers and people who dont know what to say. I dont want pity or sorrow so its easier to tell the white lie now.
And Im not even in the public eye!
Maybe, this is a really big MAYBE, Jillian knows she is going to have these issues. She knows she is going to have to find other means to be a Mother, and she has the many thousands of dollars needed to adopt, so she is going to use the "dont want to ruin my body" excuse now to pave the way for when she does have adopt. Not through choice, but through biology.
Yes, the mommy judging mommy or mommy-to-be-maybe-someday is just tired. And pointless. And absurd. We all struggle constantly with guilt and doubts and worry over our kids and over motherhood. I loved what you and Alice had to say on this.
And seriously, I almost died laughing at your pic in the bouncy house. I'm pregnant with my 3rd and omg, sometimes even clamping my legs together on a sneeze or cough doesn't stop the trickle/gush.
But I AM on my 3rd. Yes, pregnancy changed my body (hello stretch marks and weak bladder control). But it changed everything else in my life in such positive ways that honestly, the changes in my body were a small price to pay.
I have to say though, to Jillian's credit...she makes her living by having a fantastic, perfect body. On top of the normal body issues women have, as someone who is in the spotlight constantly with a bare stomach and rock hard abs, the model for "women's health" and all that, I WOULD BE SCARED AS HELL, TOO.
I think the issue with Jillian is the implication that bodies that have been pregnant are somehow ruined. I don't care what effect she has on those who are on the fence about having kids (because adoption is a wonderful thing and certainly not a bad choice), but I do have a problem with the possibility that her statements could make mothers view their postpartum bodies as wrecked or flawed. The act of giving life trumps the act of wearing size-27 designer jeans every time (and hey, lots of women do both!).
I don't understand why that comment by Jillian is offensive? She is seriously the most famous trainer in the country, she needs to look a certain way in order to maintain her credibility/career/livlihood and I don't see that as bad. I also don't see a problem with her wanting to adopt, that makes no sense?!?! Do you know how many kids out there would bennefit from having her as we mother? How she could share her world and her knowledge with children who have nothing, why is that bad? She should be the poster lady for adoption for all I care, I think she needs some credit for speaking honestly. You can be a mother and not grow a baby inside you.
I can't do the jump rope with out peeing. I have to go right before I do it and sometimes even that doesn't help! (And I don't even have kids to blame a weak bladder on!)
Peeing. Yeah, I so get that!
Also, I forgot to add, moms (and women in general) want to have careers and excel in that end of their life as well as being a mother. Women want to be empowered and not get pushed aside by their male counterparts (I look at Jillian and Bob as equals, but she can hold her own for SURE). I think that women should be proud of Jillian for staying stong to her career goals while wanting to balance motherhood. Her career is her body, so why is she wrong?
Haven't peed myself yet.
Haven't lost my sexuality.
But I don't feel sexy that often. In defense of having three kids, I don't think that is necessarily their fault. More my own for being so damn lazy.
OK... maybe I'm the only nutty one who didn't read her comments as "I don't want to get fat".
I read her "I couldn't do that to my body." comment as a health professional who is very aware of how HARD pregnancy is on a body.
I mean let's be honest. From a purely scientific perspective (which is much of what Jillian eschews on the BL) when you're pregnant, your baby comes first sometimes to the detriment of your own body. Not enough calcium? Baby will just take it from your bones. Not enough calories? Baby will just eat away at your fat/muscle. Then lets add on top of that all the potential issues with pre-eclampsyia, gestational diabetes, etc. Oh and then some of the long term effects like weak bladder, back pain, etc.
I'm not saying that having a child wasn't worth every single one of those problems/potential complications, because it SOOOOO was. But at the same time, I was wonderfully naive about pregnancy. All those things I'd kinda heard about, but didn't put much thought into it. And I was lucky enough to have an easy pregnancy.
But I have a friend that had the worst pregnancy ever complete with pre-eclampsyia. I'm really not sure if I'd want to go through pregnancy again if I were her.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that pregnancy can have much more serious effects than just fat or stretch marks or a scar from a C-section. And maybe THAT is what she meant with her desire to avoid pregnancy.
As far as my body image goes, I could stand to lose about 30 lbs after pregnancy, but that's just my own laziness and not getting off my @ss to go running :)
Wish we could learn to stop judging each other - and women (girls, really, because don't we revert back to our 12-year-old selves when we start doing it?!?) are so good at tearing each other down. One thing I will say is... Jillian Michaels' career is being in shape. She obviously loves it - and these days who is to judge a woman for not wanting to put her career on hold for any part of motherhood? She can still be a good mother without having carried a baby (which I know no one is contesting). I was talking to a friend the other day about celebrities saying silly things, and our conclusion was that we are so glad no one wants to publish our thoughts and opinions, because we know we say some idiotic things sometimes.
you rock my world!
Aesthetically, my pregnancies have had a negative impact on my body. Do I give a crap? Nope. Not one bit. Because my pregnancies have made me feel healthier, more alive and sexier than I could have ever with my pre-preggo size 6 non-dimpled ass. We have a trampoline in our backyard and I pee when I jump too. Myeh...
This is so freaking hilarious. Hilarious because it's true. Right on.
I'm not a mom, so I might feel completely different if I were, but this perspective helps me to see that it's possible that Jillian's words awaken women's insecurities about their post-baby bodies. I really don't think the problem is with Jillian's words. In a later interview she explained that she has an ovarian condition that could be dangerous if she got pregnant. But even if that weren't the case, I don't see why it isn't okay for her to make personal choices about what she does and doesn't do to her body. Pregnancy changes the body. We know that. Just because she doesn't want to impose those changes on her body doesn't mean that mom's bodies are less than. They're just different. I think she'd be a great mom: hard working, caring, devoted.
I keep reminding myself that motherhood (or parenthood) is finding the balance between my needs and the needs of my child. For me, this mostly brings to mind the balance of daily tasks. For Ms. Michaels, it may have other implications. My job is in the running industry and many elite runners who get pregnant run (alot!) during their pregnancy. That did not work for me, but it is their career, staying in good shape is an important part of the balance in their life. Jillian's needs are obviously very different from mine, yours, and many other people who are certainly judging her based on their own life, needs and experiences,
Ouch. The line where Dana said 'pregnancy is a part of motherhood' kind of stung. I know plenty of amazing people who are unable to bear children and if they choose to adopt they are just as much of a parent as anyone else.
One thing I discovered after two births: bounce houses, running and sneezes are all vewy scawy. ooops.
What I find most interesting about this (and I haven't read all the comments so maybe someone else said it too) is how would people's reactions have been different if she would have just come out and said:
We would like to adopt. We feel it is the right choice for our family.
Then would she have been this awesome woman who was willing to adopt a child to build her family and how big is her heart etc?
I think as long as she is willing to love a child, no matter how that child enters her family then it is her choice whether it be through pregnancy or adoption.
Wait a minute....it wasn't too long ago that a certain Brazilian supermodel spouted off self-righteous comments that basically implied that pregnant women who gain more than thirty pounds did so by being "garbage disposals", but Jillian Michaels gets heat for owning up to an insecurity we've all felt?!
C'mon now. I feel in Jillian's case people are making mountains out of molehills.
I completely agree that women feel like they can't tell the truth about what pregnancy and parenthood do to their bodies and lives. It's simply not all puppies and rainbows, and anyone who says it is is lying. I have made it a point to be completely and brutally honest with my friends when asked about pregnancy and new parenthood, because I think women would be a lot easier on themselves if they knew they weren't alone in their feelings. I know I would have been.
1.) The peeing. Oh my god, the peeing. I'm peeing right now, thinking about it.
2.) Freaking the fuck out about your body is part of being human, methinks. And when your body is your JOB? Even moreso.
3.) As someone who wears her body insecurities on her sleeve, I don't really have a problem with Jillian's comment. I do, however, hate this idea we have in our culture - and the language surrounding it - that pregnancy and childbirth "ruin" women's bodies. It's one thing to say that pregnancy and childbirth can permanently change (or even injure) a woman's body, but "ruin" implies a complete loss of health, worth, and hope. (Not that Jillian used the word "ruin," but the discussion of her comment did.) This goes hand-in-hand with the "MILF" thing. We talk about "MILF"s because mothers, apparently by definition, are unfuckable. Fuck that, I say!
I think Jillian Michaels' reasoning probably goes far deeper than the assumed shallow comment "I don't want to ruin my body." Maybe that's the only way she could verbally sum up her emotions. But I think it's safe to say that her reasoning and emotions on the subject are far deeper than just outward appearance.
Isn't it the same case with celebrities like Sarah Jessica Parker who choose to have children via a surrogate rather than carry the child themselves for nine months? The opportunity of being a mother can't be cheapened whether you choose to have a baby through a surrogate or adoption. A mother's love is the same no matter how that baby came into her life.
One of the saddest things about having birthed children is that I can no longer jump on a trampoline.
I attended an adult birthday party at a bounce house place with a maxi-pad on just in case.
Loved what you had to say and I totally agree. I don't think she should be judged so harshly.
PS You look great in this momversation video. Are you using new makeup? I mean you look great always but I your skin looks like it's glowing.
Having gone through 3 miscarriages in the past year, I have been dealing myself with body issues and and insecurities stemming from not being able to carry a pregnancy. I can relate to Jillian Michaels in a way (despite her bad word choice), pregnancy is not always an easy road to go down physically or emotionally. Women need to be more supportive of one another no matter what our family decisions or physical limitations or insecurities are, there is no best way to do it. BTW I always watch the videos, I love hearing everyone's different perspectives.
I was thinking the exact same thing as Kara!! I thought that comment was pretty shallow. Who says that you have to get pregnant to be a mother? I think it's amazing that she wants to adopt. THere are so many kids in this world without parents, i see nothing wrong with wanting to go that route. And you know what? If I looked like Jillian, i probably wouldn't want to alter my body either!!
I think Jillian was unfairly criticized about her comments. It is her choice to not put her body through pregnancy & childbirth. But I also feel like she's really missing something if vanity is her sole reason for avoiding it.
I don't believe it was Women's Heath that villified Jillian. They just did an interview and put it out there. (I have not read the full article). I think it was the response to the article that was the problem. It was the bloggers and other media sources that ripped her apart.
And I don’t think motherhood is defined by pregnancy & childbirth. I know a lot of great mothers who have never given birth. I think Jillian would likely be a perfectly capable mother if she chooses to be one.
As to how I feel about pregnancy/childbirth/aftermath? I feel fine. Sure I have side effects such as stretch marks and decreased muscle mass, more fat in some places and less in others. No doubt it changed my body and from the vanity standpoint – probably not for the better.
But it also made me so much stronger! Going through childbirth has made me realize just how amazing my body is and what it is capable of doing. Plus there are so many health benefits for women who do give birth – like a decreased risk for some cancers, better mental health, etc. I certainly take better care of myself now, knowing that the way I live my life provides an example to my children.
As one who has no children YET, I appreciate the honesty that is found here. I'll likely be walking down that road at some point soon, and while I don't exactly know where that road will take me, I'm doing my best to educate myself about my choices.
Because it is my choice, as it is every other person's. And yeah, it can be a difficult choice, scary, even. Essentialy, Jillian's body is her livlihood, what she will be utilizing to provide for her child. If she sould choose to protect that in order to provide her childe with a secure life, is that wrong?
Personally, when I find myself really angered by someone's words or choice, its usually a reflection of my own doubt. Just sayin'.
Also, can we please talk about how the physical aftermath of pregnancy is pretty much the LEAST life-changing aspect of motherhood? When/if Jillian starts a family, she'll find out soon enough that the world-rocking, reality-altering, permanent-marking qualities of motherhood have absolutely nothing to do with who has or hasn't inhabited your uterus. Shit is gonna get real regardless.
I love this post. You have a great way of making this new mama not feel so alone.
Wow, I just love you. The bouncy house thing cracks me up. Your honesty is awesome. Wish I were brave enough to write that way!
Yay! Thanks so much for this post, and I hope you post more on similar topics.
Women can be misogynists. seriously, we perpetuate some of the worst myths of womenhood, and it becomes this inescapable double-bind: in our youth, the world tells us we are supposed to be physically perfect. Then, in our childbearing years, we are told that if we are not ready to sacrifice our bodies in their entirety to the idealized notion of motherhood, then something is wrong with us. Plus, we should be able to lose the baby weight in 6 months. WTF?
I'm a mom, and I totally related to what Jillian said. HELL, my worries about what would happen to my body were nothing compared to what really happened - I had a bunch of complications that fu**ed up my health for a year and will make me "high risk" for any future pregnancies: I was RIGHT to be scared about the effect of pregnancy on my body! If I knew that what I would end up going through would be even worse than what I feared, I would have never had a kid.
And yes, given all that, I want another one. That is the mystery of life, I guess.....
OK, so maybe saying that pregnancy "ruins" our bodies (if she even used that word) is wrong because really, pregnancy just CHANGES our bodies. Our bodies were made for baby-making, hear us roar, yada, yada. But I know that, compared to my former perky size 36Cs, these socks with rocks I'm sporting now feel "ruined." And I totally worried about it before, during, and after pregnancy. Who didn't?! Despite it being a "natural" thing, pregnancy really is traumatizing to the body. Going through with a pregnancy means accepting the changes that come with it, and if you're not OK with those changes, planning a pregnancy is probably not the best idea.
I'm with Alice on the no judgement thing. Jillian's a fitness guru, OF COURSE her body is of major concern for her. I'm sure it's at least a minor concern for most women, whether they choose to say it out loud or not. It was a concern of mine, though not nearly as big of a concern as wondering how the hell I was going to be the world's most kickass mother and still get a few hours of sleep at night, but I did think about it. As it turns out, it was a silly thing to worry about. I think I'm more fit now than I've ever been, and the belly and everything except the boobs went back to normal. I'm pretty sure that when my daughter is through with my boobs, she will have sucked every last bit of life out of them and they'll hang halfway to my knees. But I'm okay with that. It's a very teeny tiny price to pay and totally worth it.
Oh, and adoption is an awesome idea!! Who cares WHY she's adopting, let's just applaud that she's adopting.
i'm sorry this isn't a eloquent and illuminating comment on the issue posed in the video, BUT - your bangs look amazing in the video. How do you get them like that (i need some help)
xx
even though weight wise i'm back in shape after 3 kids, i have stretch marks and stretched skin that won't and can't go away without surgery. so yes, pregnancy can ruin a body. oh and let's not even talk about the saggy boobs! do some women bounce right back? yes. did i? no. is it okay for Jillian to be afraid of any of that? absolutely. does it make her not ready to be a mother because she showed no concern for her child? no way!! there is no child. there is no one to be concerned about. when and if she has or adopts a baby then she will show concern, i'm sure. lighten up dana. judgy mcjudgerson.
I love you. I didn't have a vaginal birth and peed myself while peeing the other day. LOVE that.
The other thing about that article (and maybe it was in the video, I confess to not having watched it), we don't know what Jillian said word for word and in what order. I 100% assume that that's a very small portion of what she said.
I think a lot of us wouldn't say something out loud but would put it in our blogs. Or just obsess quietly. Such is life on oh so many things.
graThis may sound sort of stupid, but I feel really bad for famous people like Sarah Jessica Parker and Jillian Michaels who are judged by their inability to have (more) children. Yeah, they're famous and wealthy, but that doesn't make their infertility any less valid than anyone else's. I have one child, and am unable to have any more. I am sure that Sarah Jessica Parker's miscarriages were no less devastating for her than mine were for me, and if we could afford it, my husband and I would jump at the chance to adopt a child or give birth via a surrogate. But we can't, so we give our son all the love we have and we thank the universe for allowing us to have him. Jillian Michaels wants to be a mom, and she needn't give birth in order to do so. Your heart makes you a mother, not your uterus.
I don't know if anyone touched on this or not, because I only got through about half of the comments, but in Jillian's rebuttal to the public attack on her, she mentioned that there are personal reasons and things in her past that have forced her to arrive at that decision. What those things are, in my humble opinion, are nobody's business! What if she had ovarian cancer and can longer bear children? What if she was horribly molested as a child and cannot mentally endure trauma to her lady parts? Whatever the reason, it is hers and hers alone to own.
I was like you, Rebecca. In fact the reason I ever started reading your blog in the first place was because I was pregnant and shared the same sort of sentiments regarding pregnancy as you did. I felt resentment towards the end of my "social life" etc. and someone told me I should read your blog. And honestly speaking, I do feel like I have lost my sexuality after becoming a mom. I certainly don't view my body the same, nor do I feel attractive but thats MY experience and MY story. That is certainly not to say that all women share that experience.
I agree that we should all just tone it down a bit and not jump to such harsh judgments all the time. Adoption is a wonderful thing to do for a child in need and if that's what she feels is best for HER, then I don't see what all the fuss is about.
Also? Never experienced the peeing thing!!
I love you. I also have troubles with bouncers and no amount of kegels have helped.
I don't see the big deal with what Jilliam Michaels said either. We're not all breeders (that's what my lesbian friend calls me, ha).
One of the comments said that her quote awakened many mother's insecurities and I think that's what all the hullabaloo is about.
Our world is so over populated as it is so good for her for taking one for the team.
Panty liners are my best friend. I hate the pee thing. My bladder is falling out. Good times! I love my body and sex has gotten better and better since having my kids, but damn, I wish my bladder wasn't prolapsed. Pregnancy does mess with your body and it's never the same. That is a fact.
"Because, let's face it! We're all kind of bone-headed and neurotic sometimes! Sometimes even MORE than sometimes. Because, duh! We're emotional humans who laugh, cry and occasionally feel and say disagreeable things! Far more interesting than being a plant, I'd say."
I love that. It's so true. And I LOVE that second photo! Kudo's to you for jumping in Archer's bouncer. You're such a cool mama. =P
You are helping me to slowly accept my (2 year) post-partum body.
It is with tears of gratitude that I type these words:
Thank you. Thank you thank you thank you.
I wish more people would adopt, mo matter the reason. It's better for the environment. (and of course all those unwanted kids)
I absolutely adore you. Seriously adore. I write all the time too, and sometimes I question how candid I can get. But you are so refreshing and honest and I adore you? Did I mention that? (but not in the starkerish type of way). And it so happens that Monday I was trying to jump rope with my trainer and I could not believe how bad I wanted to pee! I couldn't even hold it!
Personally, I think that the problem isn't what Gillian said (though I personally have NO issue with it...it is how SHE feels) but rather how people interpret it. You would think she told the world at large to stop having children. Being pregnant brings a lot of changes and not just in your looks. There are many health issues that can and quite often do, come from pregnancy. God bless all of the women who have had healthy pregnancies, but that is definitely not always the case.
And anyway, even if it was only about appearance, so what? It's her body. Freedom of choice means ALL choices, not just the ones people agree with, right?
Did anybody else read the interview with Momlogic that Jillian did after the Womens health? It explains a whole lot. She says that she has endometriosis, and PCOS, which both can both cause infertily. The interviewer from Women's health didn't mention why she wasn't going to get pregnant, just that Jillian said she wouldn't. http://www.momlogic.com/2010/05/jillian_michaels_pregnancy_does_not_ruin_your_body.php
I'm with Dana on this, at least some of it. Sure, we can be insecure about our labias, stretch marks or whatever, but as much as ageing "modifies" the body, so does pregnancy. Big deal.
Unlike many other posters here, I'm certainly willing to judge Jillian Michaels, who prefers not to give birth to keep her body as it is.
Our bodies are not perfect machines, and neither are we merely our bodies. To decide not to experience pregnancy for this reason is, in my opinion, not only shallow, but ultimately useless. The body will change over time in many ways - things do not stay as they are.
And yes, I judge women who feel the need to get breast implants or labia surgery, too, unless they have some dire physical deficiency.
You are the best!
Thanks for posting this. I too saw Jillian what'shername's comment and thought, good for her. She knows herself well enough to know what she wants and how she wants it. I don't even want to label her as having silly neurosis's. It's where she's at and she's aware enough to know it and speak it.
If pregnancy isn't for her, then she shouldn't do it - who knows how it would impact her or her child.
And, really, I say kudos to someone who wants to adopt. It's a difficult, expensive process - not unlike pregnancy - and if she's game for it, then go Jillian!
I very much disagree with the woman in the video (not Alice - I luv, luv, luv Alice too) who said that pregnancy is a part of motherhood. It might be for her and it might be for me, but many other women are mothers and they didn't ever give birth or didn't give birth to the children they're parenting. It's about love and commitment. At least that's how I see it.
In Jillian's world, the way her body looks is a big concern and the center of her professional universe so it doesn't surprise me that she is scared to mess with that perfection. I was scared too. I never vocalized it but I was concerned about the way my whole life including my body would change. Then I had my baby and found that it was incredibly liberating in terms of body image. I mean, I got the mom badge. I entered into a whole new status and though I can't say I love peeing every time I sneeze or that little flab of skin above my belly button, they are the marks of my entrance into motherhood and I wouldn't have it any other way.
I'm not sure if she'll go back to read comments written after her own comment, but to Michelle: you don't have to have thousands of dollars to adopt if your heart is set on it. My husband and I are foster parents in Missouri and if you decide to adopt through the system as well, everything is covered. There's even the possibility of health insurance and a monthly stipend (yes, even after the adoption is complete) depending on whether or not the child is considered special needs. And yes, there are many, many infants that need homes in the system as well, not just older children. Hope you read this....
My concern is that, whether she becomes a mother biologically or through adoption, she might instill unhealthy body image expectations in her child/ren. Perhaps that is unfair, but I do think it's possible to take a good thing (even "healthy living") too far. Is it possible for her entire career to revolve around exercise, caloric intake and physical appearance and NOT have that affect her kids?
Granted, the same can be said of parents who drink in front of their kids or expose them to any other habit/vice. Doesn't mean they shouldn't have kids... but you can't help wondering how the kids might be affected by their parent's behavior... We all need to look in the mirror and think about that when it comes to our own actions and how they impact our kids.
I wish Jillian all the best-- I hope my niggling concern about her (heavily-edited) comments proves to be untrue someday when she starts her own family.
Ladies, the peeing yourselves thing - go NOW and invest in a pair of silicone Smartballs - they are amazing and you'll wish you did it sooner.
You honestly don't have to put up with peeing yourself when you sneeze or cough or jump!
The peeing, yes, the peeing definitely has become a hazard. I was ok until child number three. Actually, most of my body went back with 1 and 2, but 3 really did me in. But, who cares. I am a teacher and my body is not my job. If I were Jillian Michaels and my body were my income, I might think differently. Love the momversation!
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