Twelve Hours and Ten Minutes Late

Yesterday was the first kindergarten orientation meeting for a school Archer may or may not attend in a neighborhood we may or may not be moving to.

I called the school on Wednesday, inquiring re: their open enrollment policy, only to find out it was my lucky day!

"Funny you should call today. Tomorrow at 8.30 is our kindergarten orientation! There you will find all the information you need!"

"Perfect! Tomorrow? 8.30? I will absolutely be there!"

I hung up with the school administrator feeling pretty stoked on my timing.

"I think this school is meant to be!" I told Hal. "The informative parent's meeting is tomorrow! TOMORROW!!!!"

And so? I scribbled "8.30 mtg - school" on the calendar and spent the rest of the day positively absolutely sure that THIS school was the right school in the perfect neighborhood for us. That our new life was waiting for us just around the bend. That I? Was the most responsible meeting-attending parent in my whole entire house.

That evening, I poured myself a to-go cup full of coffee, slapped Hal high-five and hopped in my car. It was 8.20 and the school was (probably?) about ten-minutes away, so away I drove.

Ten minutes later, I was still in the car.

"I'm going to be late," I quietly thought.

But only by ten minutes, which is kind of the same thing as being five minutes late with a watch that's five-minutes slow, so no biggie.

Purse over shoulder, coffee cup in hand, I set out into the night toward the school, crossing paths at once with a nice looking woman scurrying frantically toward one of the school's lit entrances.

"Hi! Are you here for the orientation?" I shouted, rushing after her.

"I am," she said.

"So am I! Great! We can walk in late together."

"No, no. I wasn't here late," the woman snapped "I was here early."

"Oh?"

"I'm just wandering around because I can't find the entrance. Everything's locked."

"Let's try the other side," said I. "Hi. I'm Rebecca."

But she was in NO mood to make friends with me. She was on a mission! To get to the orientation! Which, I totally understood! I was too!

The only difference? I was pretty sure, watching the woman bang on locked doors, that there was no orientation meeting. Because somehow, some way, no matter how many times I write things down or make lists or plans or scribble reminders on my hand - I always find a way to show up at the wrong place at the wrong time, inappropriately dressed, disasterville.

"Perhaps we got the day wrong?" I finally suggested, after our first loop around the school campus.

"No. You don't understand. I do NOT get days wrong. I have had this meeting in my calendar for MONTHS! I even called yesterday to confirm!"

"Oh, okay. Well? Maybe you're right but it doesn't look like anyone's he--"

"There must be someone here. There's an orientation going on right now! I was told on the phone -- "

"Maybe we're too late and they locked us out?"

"No! I was not late! I was here on time! Early, actually. I was here early and YOU were the one who was late."

"True but only by a few minutes. It wasn't like I wa--"

The always-early-woman-who-never-gets-dates-wrong started yanking on the gate, shaking the giant lock, howling for the janitor.

And so? I went along with her.

"Somebody let us in!" she yelled.

"We. Be. In." I followed.

A Janitor finally peeked out of a lit doorway, squinting at us in the lamplight.

"Uh... Can I help you, ladies?"

"Yes, sir. We're here for the Kindergarten orientation! Can you please let us in?"

The Janitor gave us a smile. "You mean the one that happened this morning?"

"This morning? What do you mean, THIS MORNING!????!!!?????!!?!??!?!E?!?"

"We had a kindergarten orientation this morning at 8:30 am. So. I think. You're ... uh... a little late."

And so? I laughed.

I laughed because, classic Bec does it again!

Because I should have known better - should have sent Hal. Hal who would have asked on the phone "AM or PM?" instead of just assuming. Because I may be an absent-minded flake, but at least I'm a consistent one. Because there are something like six more kindergarten orientation meetings for this school ALONE before September.

But most of all, I laughed because it was funny. Because I fucked up and showed up twelve hours and ten minutes late to my first orientation meeting and ha ha ha - I'm not perfect. Not even close. I make mistakes and ha ha ha - such is life. What a mess, ha.

And when I turned to acknowledge my always-early, never-wrong-about-these-things, way-more-together-than-me, not-so-friendly new friend? I was pleasantly surprised to see that she was laughing, too.

GGC