(updated below)
I wrap my arms around her, rest my chin against the top of her head. She's stirring and I'm bleary-eyed. Archer's voice carries down the hall as Hal calls after him. I'm not sure what time it is. Is it 7am? 7:30? Could it even be 8am? 8:30? I'm bad with mornings. I don't test well in the blue light. It makes me squint. I build a cocoon of duvet and pillows and wait for wings.
Meanwhile, my cherub sleeps against me, folded hands against her chest.
In nearly seven months, Fable has seldom woken up before I have, sleeping at times until 11:00am, 11:30, when I've been too sick or too tired to acknowledge the bright light and sounds of neighborhood lawn mowers and revved engines and people talking loudly on their cell-phones in the front yard.
She wakes when I do. No matter how carefully I remove my hair from her hands, how quietly I tiptoe out the bedroom door, she wakes within moments. Her legs kicking and eyes wide-open by the time I finish my morning pee, flush the toilet.
I promised Hal she'd be in her own bed on her six-month birthday. I promised myself. She's nearly seven-months old and I can't bear the thought of sleeping without her. Of inhaling nothingness where her exhales used to be. Of collapsing in a bed empty of Fable at 1am.
It would be like telling a five-year-old that her favorite stuffed horse must suddenly sleep in another room, when the smell of drool and broken button-eyes are her most comforting sights and smells. (I slept with my blankie and stuffed animals well into my teens.)
We didn't co-sleep past two weeks with Archer. He slept on a pillow between us until he outgrew the tiny space. We moved him to a bassinet after that where he slept soundly through the night and when he outgrew that, a crib. The bed belonged to Hal and me. No babies allowed.
Why so different this time? Was it chicken who changed or was it egg?
(The chicken would be me.)
How will I sleep without her now that I have become dependent on her chubby wrists in my hands as I drift off, dream on?
(The chicken would be me.) How will I sleep without her now that I have become dependent on her chubby wrists in my hands as I drift off, dream on?
And what of the morning? The two of us nose to nose, a couple of cyclops when we open our eyes, eskimo kisses in our pajamas, Fable straining to sit up against the current of my lips to her brow. Oh but I'm stronger, little girl. And I will eat you up against your will if I have to.
And then... laughter. Laughter like a round of applause, like water its sound.
Nothing sweeter.
One of these days, I'll wake up and say, "enough is enough! My arm has cramped for the last time!" Or Hal will put put his foot down or Fable will turn sixteen and get all weirded out that I'm sniffing her hair as she sleeps. Or one of us will fall out of the bed because the little one said roll over, roll over...
In the meantime, wild stuffed horses couldn't keep me away.
Sweet dreams........................................................
This week I'm giving away the Baby Bjorn Babysitter Balance (pictured below) which is Fable's favorite hang-spot and the only place besides my arms she will cat nap for ten minutes at a time.
I also have two autographed copies of my friend, Andrea Richesin's book, Because I Love Her, a poignant collection of essays about mother/daughter relationships. Book trailer, here.
To win*? Tell me your story of sleep.
GGC
*Winners picked at random by noon Friday. Good luck, sleepy dreamers.
To win*? Tell me your story of sleep.
GGC
*Winners picked at random by noon Friday. Good luck, sleepy dreamers.
** Congratulations to Keri at ASL Junkie for winning the Baby Bjorn Babysitter Balance, and Amy at Not An Only Child and Mamacita in the City for winning the signed copies of Because I Love Her. Please contact me with your information so your prizes can be awarded to you. Thank you all for participating! (Check out to see if Andrea will be in your city signing books in your city this week, here.)
233 comments:
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«Oldest ‹Older 1 – 200 of 233 Newer› Newest»i never did the co-sleep thing with my son (now 1 year old). not sure why... but just didn't. he slept in a bassinet next to my side of the bed until he was 6 weeks, and then he was in his crib, in his room, which was literally 10 steps away from me, but i still kept a monitor on HIGH in our room so i could listen to him breathe.
last night though, jackson was awake A TON... he hasn't done this in a looooong time, and i'm thinking that it's due to his 1 year molars coming in. at 4 this morning, i had gone in his room for the umpteenth time, snuggled him and myself in a blankie, reclined the glider chair and stayed there with him until 7:30.
it was glorious... the sweet smell of fresh baby sweat should be bottled.
beautiful post rebecca!
Oh, I always *pretend* Harper's going to sleep in her crib. I lay her down around eight. She's quiet and content. Then around ten or so, I go to bed. But I lay there. And I'm lonely. Then I start freking. the. fuck. out. Oh mah gah! My baby NEEDS to sleep with me. She needs to be near the sound of my heart. I need to hear her little breaths. I would NEVER forgive myself if I woke up and something had happened to her. Alone in that crib...
I think I freak out so badly because I get so flippin tired. I don't know. Maybe I just really like all the ninja kicks to my torso throughout the night. That must be it.
I promised myself that my son would be out of the bed by 4 months. He is almost 6 months, and there is no way I am ready. My son also wakes up exactly when I do, and he is in the best mood in the mornings. Before we even get out of bed, we spend about 10 minutes staring at each other's faces. He places his hands on my face as if he is exploring a new territory, because he is. He is learning everyday and it's amazing. My pregnancy was unplanned, and I think cosleeping has really allowed me to bond with my son on a new level. The first time I woke up to him smiling at me, I realized that I would never want life to be any other way. Hopefully he's out of the bed by 12 months, right? If not..certainly by 12 years.
Your post was poignant and the exact words I was unable to apply to the loveliness that is my mornings waking up face to face with my almost 4 month old son and the sweet dependence that has been formed.
I started co-sleeping just as a means to get sleep with a newborn, then the mark my husband and I set was 8 weeks (he was so little you know) now it's 6 months; however my husband was snuggling with him the other day and told him, "You can sleep with us forever."
I am not so sure about the teenage years, but for now we're content and that's what matters most.
My mom often slept with me while I was growing up. I had horrific night terrors. It was awful. Thankfully they only last a year, when I was five.
Amanda
I love this! Only my oldest was really keen on cosleeping and always and only slept best in the crook of my arm. It's hilarious now to hear her reminisce about when she slept in my armpit. I keep trying to correct her description, but it's a great memory either way. :)
With my first son everyone told me to never let him in our bed, that he needed to be in his crib always. We had a miserable first 4 weeks of his life. After that he slept in our bed every night until he was around one give or take a month. It was peaceful at our house again. With my second son he slept with us from the night he came home. Even now that they are 5 & almost 7 they are welcome in our bed anytime they need to be. They never start out the night with us but most mornings I wake to find two cuddly boys on each side. Soon enough that won't happen anymore so for now I savor each morning!
I am right there with you!
Everyone around me had an opinion about co-sleeping-they thought it was dangerous and it was a bad habit and I would regret it, blah, blah, blah. But I slept BETTER with my daughter not only cause of the nursing thing but it was like I didn't need to listen as hard for her..she was right there so I knew her every move. PLUS cuddling that sweet little beeb is enough to make my heart explode with happiness.
Now she's 2 1/2 and she's all about her own bed and I am bummed!
So I say co-sleep as long as you can, because before you know it, you will be hovering over Fable's bed wondering if it is too weird to sneak her into your bed.
My baby Jack is 4.5 months old, and ever since he we brought him home from the hospital he has slept in his crib and then spent the last couple of hours snuggling with me in my bed.
His true oddity is that he prefers sleeping in the lap of luxury. So, we must wrap him up in smushy blankets and keep him on the cushiest of surfaces in order for him to sleep. Regular crib mattresses just won't do.
It's hopefully not an indicator of things to come.
We didn't co-sleep really, but did spend many nights or parts of nights asleep with him in a chair. I remember thinking sometime this fall when my then almost-two year old was gangly all over me and already more than 1/2 my height that we might not do this again. Rather than trying to put him back to sleep we snuggled until morning and I savored what I sometimes couldn't when I was an overly tired mom of a newborn worried about sleep habits. My son isn't really a snuggly one normally so these little sleepy moments that were at times annoying have now become incredibly rare and incredibly precious.
For the first two weeks after my son was born, I slept with one arm streched across him and onto my husband's back because I was afraid he would roll over on him. I woke up with a numb arm every day, but it was so worth it. It was pretty funny trying to hold a baby with one regular arm and try to lift up my shirt and get ready to feed him with a half asleep/half numb arm!
I am probably on the extreme end of the co-sleeping thing, but my daughter turned THREE in December and is still in my bed.
In my defense, her father was gone for 18 months and just returned in October. I did NOT feel safe not having her in my bed with me, when he was not around. Now, I just can't give. it. up! He hates it but he deals with it because he knows how hard it is going to be to get her into her own bed. I promised him that we would work on it when he gets her room painted and he hasn't hurried to do that, so I'm not hurrying to give up my "puddle-bug" (she says puddle for cuddle).
We co-slept with my son for about six weeks, and then I had to have my gallbladder removed, and couldn't have the tiny dude in the bed with us anymore. He was so small at first that he'd fit into the curve of a rolled-up towel that we placed between our pillows, to carve him out a space. Most nights he ended up belly-down on my chest. And yet there was nothing like seeing my hubs curl his arm around his baby son and settle in for the night.
I'm not a mom yet, but I completely know where you're coming from as I have a younger brother who as soon as he was able to climb out of bed would end up sleeping next to me... and those moments of waking up with a warm chubby cuddling bundle of someone who loves you so completely as only a child can...yep it was those moments that let me know for sure that I'd be co-sleeping with my kids...now if they'd only hurry up and arrive
When I was pregnant I rolled my eyes at co-sleeping. I love sleep and couldn't imagine giving up spooning with my cute dog (he is the perfect spooner) on one side and hubby on the other.
From day one Dylan slept with us. I told no one. It was like a big secret cuz I knew my family would think I was crazy and a few friends would think I was going to kill him in a pile of blankets and pillows.
And then I started to tell everyone. It was too delicious NOT to share. Why don't they tell us how awesome this is!? Everyone should do it. His little breath on my face, the dreamfeedings. Wow. He's almost 8 months old and he curls up on his side, his little hand holding my finger. He is my favorite alarm clock - grabbing or pinching me and giggling. Waking up to a big brown eyes smile is awesome.
The dog is now on a dog pillow by the closet, my husband is shoved over to the end of the bed. He won't tell you, but I know when I'm not home he naps like this with Dylan so he can have a little piece of his own co-sleeping heaven.
Every day I say we'll keep him in his crib tonight, tonight tonight...
Still co sleeping with 41/2 year old, and 2 year old. Don't care what people think. It works for our family- it is a lovely thing.I can not imagine not waking up to their little laughs and stretches and endless morning giggles. One concern- am currently expecting #3 and wondering where it will go!
please don't enter me in the giveaway....
we co-slept w/ our daughter until abt. 3-4 months (though we didn't even plan on co-sleeping). her sweet smell and her soft skin is addicting. even now (at almost 3 yrs. old and sleeping in her own bed) when she awakens in the wee hours of the morning from a bad dream we bring her in our bed and snuggle close to her. she's always up before me, and i can feel her little hands rub my back or caress my hair. i'm glad that she does sleep in her own bed (for mine and my husband's sanity), but those special days when we take her in our bed...it just feels so good.
Finally!! You've put my thoughts and feelings into words so precisely. I never intended to co-sleep with my son, and we tried the crip thing. It worked for about a month or two, and then he got croup and I insisted that he sleep with us. He's turning two in July and I can't dream of him sleeping on his own. There are moments when I certainly wish he would (as mommy-daddy alone" time is virtually non-existent), but he sleeps SO perfectly well, and always has, with us. Why fuck with it? I have a crazy full time job and a hellish commute. I need my sleep.
Thank you for this post. It's made my day.
Oh I would love this!
My story of sleep is this - I'm pregnant and cant sleep! But I'm exhausted. How is this possible? Thank you hormones!
when i was 34 weeks pregnant, i was involved in a car accident that left my right leg mangled beyond comprehension. the original plan had been to put charlie, my daughter, in her crib from day one. now i was left with an inability to walk, getting to her was impossible. we had to move back in with my parents and our home was quickly reduced to a guest bedroom in a house i had not grown up in.
we purchased one of the bedside bassinets so that i could easily roll over and tend to charlie's every need. once she arrived, i couldn't bear to be without her for more than minutes at a time.
when i was finally able to walk without crutches again, about three months after charlie entered our world, we finally decided it was time. she took to her crib like a champ - without hesitation or argument. i, on the other hand, haven't slept soundly for the last nine months. i miss her desperately at night, but have come to terms with the fact that she is sleeping, safe and dreaming something grand.
My son didn't sleep through the night or in his own bed until a few months ago; he'll be three in a few weeks. And he still climbs into our bed almost every night.
Ooooohhhh, this is me... so me.
I didn't always co-sleep with my girl. It wasn't until she was 13 months old that she came into our bed. And I have such a hard time imagining our bed without her... I love everything about her being there.
Let me know how it goes...
neither of my kids ever wanted anything to do with co-sleeping, but i did sleep in the nursery with my youngest until he was six months old. at which point my husband put his foot down and said he wanted me back.
I find my sleep story really, very odd. I'd tell everyone Kyle and I don't co-sleep, but every night he wakes up around 4 or 5 a.m., and instead of coaxing him back to sleep in his own crib, I scoop him up and for the next 3 or so hours, he sleeps on my chest, in my arms. He sleeps soundly and well and never stirs until I stir in the morning. I don't know how it started, but there you have it. It's my favorite time of day.
I just wanted to stop by and say-
I've been reading "Tropic of Cancer" before bed these last few nights, and in this post, I think if Miller was still kickin' he'd be pretty damn proud of your wordistry!
So beautiful.
Music for my eyes.
I was sleeping beautifully, easily, through the night always. And now I am 10 weeks pregnant and wake up at least twice a night to pee and once to snack. I guess it's a very small glimpse of all the sleep deprivation to come?!
We co-sleep with Sierra and in the beginning, I was nervous. What if I roll on her? Or what if Jason rolls on her? Or what if the blanket covers her head?
Now ... she goes to sleep in her crib and into bed with us upon her first wake-up. If I get into bed and she hasn't woken up yet, I don't sleep well. Sleep is better if she is there, snuggled against me, hogging my space.
Our kids have never co-slept with us, because we made a decision to kept our bed just for us, but I love our Sunday morning snuggles. They climb up onto the bed, find their spots and burrow in.
I absolutely love and adore co-sleeping. We've only had three nights of it so far, but the three of us sleep better with Jasper in the bed.
We bought The First Years Safe and Secure Sleeper for Jasp, and he spent the first night twisting and moaning and grunting, and Sean and I spent the first night staring at him, making sure he was breathing. I spent the whole next day reading about co-sleeping. I had originally wanted to co-sleep, and then when he was born so early and spent a month in a bassinet in the NICU, I wasn't sure he would want to. However, I read tale after tale from mothers and fathers of babis born early who spent at least a month in the NICU, and who loved co-sleeping.
The first night was so blissful, so serene. I realize I'm writing a novel here, but I can't imagine not co-sleeping with Jasper cuddled next to me. I love hearing his breath, and I MELT every single time he snuggles closer to me.
Co-sleeping is the best sleep.
I co slept with Lulu for about two months before her flailing limbs caused us to kick her out. She still sleeps with her arms and legs all over the place, but once in a while, we'll get in to the big bed together and snuggle on a rainy afternoon. And I can usually ignore the elbow poking me in the ear:)
For the first 5 weeks of her life, it seemed like my daughter didn't sleep. We took her to bed with us and just like that: sleep, glorious sleep. She's ten months old now, and I can't imagine her not sleeping with us. Sweet, peaceful face; legs thrown over mine; cuddles galore. Heaven. My fear is that one day she will ask to sleep on her own!!
With our son we started off with a bassinet directly next to our bed, but after a few months we moved him into his own room since his adorable noises kept waking me up (even though I was still nursing at night and was so sleepy I could barely walk back and forth!). I am a very restless sleeper so co-sleeping with an infant freaked me out. I was convinced that my tossing/turning/blanket grasping/sleep talking self would do some serious harm.
And so we went until he started climbing out of the crib and a toddler bed saw some action. Now he's in our bed most nights from about 4am until we get up. Let me just say... his 2 1/2 year old restless sleeping does way more damage than mine! We're bruised and sore and hard pressed for more sleep, but he literally wails for an hour if we don't let him in... so now we're a semi-co-sleeping family. At least until my preggo belly gets so big that someone has to go! (I think my husband may have a fight ahead of him to stay in the bed!)
My babe slept in our room for a total of two nights. Then we kicked him out. Why? Because he grunts, snores, and breathes so heavy that I can't catch a wink! So he slumbers comfortably in his crib, far enough from my hawk-like ears that I can hear him when he cries, but not every time he needs to breathe. Which is all the time.
We never co-slept with Max. My husband is an incredibly deep sleeper, and the thought of having a baby and him in the same bed scared me. Plus, I am one of those people who doesn't even want the blankets touching me when I'm sleeping. He slept in a bassinet for a few weeks, then moved to his own crib in his own room. It worked for us--I slept a lot better with him in his own room, for some reason, and he was a championship sleeper--he is still a kid who cherishes his alone time at night.
Not sure what will happen with number two, who's due in ten weeks. We'll play it by ear.
I always start off with her in the crib but sometime in the middle of the night and somewhere in the middle of a dream she calls out for me.
So I take my little baby G in my arms and take her back to my pillow. And as my arm cramps up, I remember why I love it so much. The smell of her breath and gentle sigh... its the most precious gift I've ever been given.
After a peaceful but draining and long home birth, I lay there exhausted that first night like I had been hit by a truck. I was terrified my milk wouldn't come in in time, so I pulled my baby from her bassinet and laid her next to my breast in hopes that it would stimulate my milk production. I later learned that this instinctive move actually works. After an hour or so of hazy sleep, I woke to see my daughter about ten inches away from me. I then saw a newborn only a few hours old inch her way over to my breast across the bed and put her head on it as if it were a pillow.
In disbelief that she was born with this ability, I was sold on bed-sharing from that moment on.
i will become a mom in August and recently found your lovely blog...i find so much resonance in the things you write about in my own life. we are planning on co-sleeping for the first 6 weeks, much to my RN mother's chagrin, but feel like it will be better that way. and the fact that the hubs is such a snuggler gives me an indication i won't have anyone trying to talk me out of co-sleeping with our little sugar and spice at 6 months...it seems like we shouldn't be in a hurry to move on from such tender moments.
My daughter went in between me and my husband and her bassinet until she was 6months. While both me and my husband wanted our room to ourselves from about 3months, but she had this sweet way of whining and crying her way, usually into our bed over her bassinet. Too many night awake with a crying baby makes it hard to remember how we ever managed to get her into her own bed, but we did it, and are finally sleeping through the nights, enjoying a husband and wife bed, as opposed to the mommy, daddy, and baby bed.
Oh to read this.. I'm expecting my first this fall, and just the way you described your daughter is just the parts I'm looking forward to the most.
My favorite sleep story is the one where I keep waking up super early in the morning to pee, and I just love catching my husband at that rare sleepy moment where he lets me get all close and snuggly, and I can fall asleep again to strange pregnancy dreams but he's close by..
My baby hates co-sleeping! She doesn't even want me to rock her to sleep - she sleeps her best when I swaddle her in a cocoon in her co-sleeper bassinet next to my bed and put her in as soon as she starts to get super fussy, then she tosses her head and crashes. I tell myself that she can't sleep with me or next to me because she finds me too exciting (that is how it looks). I am trying to teach her to crash on me, so I can at least cuddle her for half an hour before I put her down, but she just wants to look at me, and I am sad about it. My now three year old needs to be cuddled on to me in our rocker, face in my neck and my chin on her head every night before I put her in her bed, and it is without question my favorite time of day. The worst thing about a second child was having to cut that time down with number one. My husband, sweet and loving though he is, has no idea why I want to do all this - he wants to put kids in bed and get on with his own interests, and I always prolong the moment before they get peeled off me to get in the bed. And now we will move the oldest to a big girl bed, and the baby to the crib in her own room and I am sad to let them go!
Oh, sleep. What is that again? I am 37 weeks pregnant and can't remember the last time I got some decent sleep. And I just love those who remind me that I will get even less once the little one is here. I know! That doesn't help me right now! Anyway, we have a cradle for our little girl that will go right next to my side of the bed. Too scared to cosleep because I sleepwalk.
I swore I wouldn't be a cosleeper. That is, until I became a mother. My four week old baby boy wakes every two or three hours and I turn on the dim lamp on my bedside table to be able to see, since neither of us are coordinated to get boob to baby in the dark. My husband sweetly sleeps with his ipod so that he can get up for work in the morning, and we continue our wake, eat, sleep cycle until 10:30 or so. I smell his shampoo and put my fingers in his so his chubby tiny fist will grasp mine. I'm not sure how long it will continue, but I'm enjoying our nights together.
We never co-slept for a variety of reasons- we trained our daughter to sleep on her own from 2 weeks old, my husband is a light sleeper, I am a deep sleeper, my daughter is a LOUD sleeper and most importantly, my husband and I really, really cherish our time together- BUT...when my daughter is sick, she suddenly becomes the baby who wants to sleep ON you. This is a girl who won't sleep within 10 feet of another human if she can help it.
I have to admit...I hate that she's sick, but I love that she's so cuddly. It's one of the few times she will lay her head on my shoulder, sigh gently, and just fall asleep.
Once she is better- it's back to her crib, which she loves dearly and spends an hour playing in each morning before we even get her out of bed.
I'm not co-sleeping, yet sometimes I wish I were. My sweetest memories are from the weeks when he was new when we would sleep late into the morning to make up for bleary-eyed feedings in the dark. We'd wake, him on my chest both sleep-drunk and hungry. And the snuggles- oh the snuggles of a newborn.
*sigh*
I am 28 weeks pregnant and plan on co-sleeping with my child. Everyone I talk to about this is very disapproving but they are not the ones who will have to get out of bed every few hours...
Never intended to co-sleep, but it happened (first night nursing, then sheer exhaustion of waking up ten times a night...) As soon as he's with us, my son sleeps really well. Without us, it's hell. So that pretty much settled it. I think adapting to your child, regardless of what you had planned, is key... He's 2 now, and I still love every minute of it. It feels good and right, the three of us snuggled together at night, sound and safe.
We don't really talk to people about it, though. It's like a shameful secret: I know people around us would think it's dead wrong, overindulgent, spoiling him, etc. But I know it's not a problem unless you consider it to be one, and it will only last so long. Frankly, I'll miss him when he's gone! He's growing up so fast, and looking at him sleep reminds me so much of those tender, quiet cuddling moments of infancy.
I think you do have to make extra efforts to nurture your couple life and intimacy, though. But who says you need to do it in the bed?
That was lovely. When my first son was born, I swore I wouldn't fall into the "trap" of getting him addicted to the swing. (I didn't know many parents of young children and that was the only thing I'd been warned against.) Well, he didn't sleep in the swing; he slept with me--for 13 months. Through constant criticism and the repeated question, "Isn't he sleeping in his own bed yet?" we snuggled all night every night. When I went back to work when he was 12 weeks old, it was so nice to be able to snuggle all night to make up for the missed out daytime snuggles. As we struggled with working, nursing, walking, talking, and everything else I didn't know how to get a baby to do, I learned to tune out the voices that told me I was doing it wrong.
When our second son was born, I got a co-sleeper, which he hated, so he was in bed with us, then a pack-and-play, and finally, at over a year old, into a crib. Now our youngest is 13 months old, and she sleeps in her own bed, most of the night. I'm glad when I do actually get to sleep on my stomach, when my husband doesn't feel forced out of bed by the baby. But dealing with that first year with my son taught me so much about the unpredictability of parenting, about doing what works best for you and your baby and your family, about supporting other new parents trying to sort it all out.
He's 5 now and still sometimes crawls into our bed in the middle of the night. And though I walk him back eventually (it gets crowded in there), I still love to listen to him breathe gently next to me.
I co-slept with our son, who is now 11 years old...I would not give up those memories for anything. He still gets into our bed in the early morning hours, and I don't mind. Since his birth, his little feet would find their way under me, and he still does that. And I miss it when he's not there...
Everyone disapproved as well, but I didn't care, because this was our second child, and I was going to do it my way this time ,the way I felt it was right.
And I am so glad I did, because this child of mine has grown into the happiest, most self-confident little boy you could ever meet, and I know it is in part because of this.
i am oh so the opposite of you. i need, crave, depend on, HAVE TO HAVE my own space while i sleep. i am very nutty about my childrens sleeping habits and although i am very much about babies sleeping when they're tired, eating when they're hungry, etc. i also believe in helping them to learn and develop routines (which i must admit probably has more to do with MY need of these things rather than theirs) my first child slept through the night(i'm talking 8-8) at 6 weeks old. #2 was up and on the boob all night until he was about 14 months old. so i do not beleive that we can do a and b and have c be the result. they are their own people. so, so far no co-sleeping for me. who knows, maybe when #3 comes (which WILL be my last!) it will be different. i never say never, well i guess i just did.... :)
When I think back about my son being an infant, my fondest thoughts were off us catnapping, with him on my chest. His sweet smell and oh so fine hair.
We didn't co-sleep with him, but I'm going to insist that we do with the next one!!
At 35 weeks pregnant, I'm "not-sleeping" so co-sleeping or ANY sleeping for that matter sounds lovely!!
I never co-slept with either of my kids. Of course, when they are sick or have nightmares or wake up at 5 a.m. and refuse to go back to sleep in their own beds, I relent. But otherwise, I sprawl, I sleep deep and I roll. I don't sleep well when they are with me and I would rather be cheery for them in the daylight than sleep with them at night.
Sometimes, though, I lay awake on those seldom occasions when they are in my bed or I am in theirs and I just watch them sleep, because there is nothing more precious than a sleeping child.
My son mostly slept in a bassinet or his crib, but when he would wake up at 5:30 am we would bring him in to snuggle with me until about 8. It was wonderful and now that he is 19 months old I miss those moments. He stopped waking up that early around 9 months, which is when he learned to pull up.
The fact that he can fall asleep on his own is totally due to my husband. He stayed up all night with him once, repeatedly putting my son back down, until he went to sleep on his own. Since then, he's great at going to sleep on his own. I'm happy and sad about it...he won't fall asleep on me anymore! :(
I co-sleep because I am lazy and because I cannot stand to hear my babies cry. My son Max is two years old and we still co-sleep. Some days I could not imagine sleeping without him next to me and others I want to run out and buy the kid his own bed.
My daughter has never spent a full night in our bed, sometimes my bf would love to have her, but she honestly takes up too much room and I can't sleep, I feel like I'll crush her in my sleep.
She is now 3 years old and every morning we do the same routine... she wakes up, runs into my room and into my bed, and we lie there together, sometimes quiet, sometimes talking, until she decides it's time to wake up. I love my mornings because of her.
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I had wonderful co-sleep experiences with my two younger children. So, this is really about my oldest.
He was born independent. I was single and had moved back in with my mother. *shudder* I had a twin bed and no crib in my room. I lived with all her art suypplies and her piano and there wasn't space for me and my baby really. So, he HAD to sleep with me.
I loved snuggling next to him. The way he fit perfectly into the curve of my body between my knees and shoulders. Wrapping my arm around him and breathing him in.
But he had other plans. He resisted. As soon as he could roll over, he started turning away from me in bed. Seriously. He would pinch me when I put my arm over him. He would bite me when I tried to cuddle him closer. He kicked me and pushed me. He wanted the whole bed to himself. He wanted me to move over and get out of his space.
When he was 7 tender months old, I had to buy a used portable crib from a daycare center and put my son in it. He slept peacefully and beautifully in that damned crib.
Without me.
sevedra
i co-slept with my son until he was 7 months old. my husband was deployed to iraq when my son was 1 month old, so instead of sleeping alone I had my little guy to keep me company. When my husband returned home though my son was moved to his crib and slept well every night. now that he's 3 i find that he climbs into my bed most nights. i don't mind though because there is nothing better than cuddling with your child.
When we adopted our little girl she was 14 months old. I had never considered the idea of co-sleeping, but because she was older we decided to do it to help with attachment. Seeing that little girl curl up between her daddy and me or laying with her while she fell asleep are some of the sweetest memories I have.
She is in her crib now, and we all sleep better for it, but sometimes in the mornings we will bring her into bed with us to just cuddle. Now an active two year old, it never lasts long, but I cherish every second of it!
i co-napped with my son until he was about 5 months old. i really wanted to co-sleep with him but i couldn't get comfortable or sleep soundly worried i would roll on him or something. naps were easier. :)
now if i'm sad or lonely or missing him, i pluck him out of bed and let him sleep with me for a while. i do love it. i wish i could sleep with him always. maybe the next baby. :)
We started out with Sebastian in a bassinet about one foot away from my side of the bed. I would wake up every three hours to feed him and we would fall asleep for an hour or so in the padded rocking chair with the Boppy keeping him snuggled close to me. The crick in my neck would wake me and I'd lay him back in his bassinet for another two hours.
This went on for about four months when finally I decided the zombie look wasn't flattering. He always started in his crib but would end up in our bed snuggled up close and facing me after that first sleep cycle.
I still let him crawl into bed to sleep next to me every morning for another hour or two after my husband leaves for work. I know I'll miss having him in there when baby number two arrives in November.
Maybe we'll get a king size bed.
Love your sense of humor and representation of motherhood!
Theo slept in the bassient part of the pack and play for 4.5 months and then moved to his crib in his own room. We were all ready. He slept much better in there--more comfy mattress I'm sure. He's 13 months now and I still check on him all the time (plus he's just so damn cute in his jammies with his snuggly blankie) and have the monitor on 11 so I can hear every little thing.
The idea of co-sleeping sounds wonderful but just wasn't our thing. I knew I'd never get a good night's sleep.
I loved reading about you sleeping with Fable. Made me warm and fuzzy!
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I didn't expect to co-sleep. I love snuggling up with my Hubby. I knew the baby would sleep in my room, but not my bed, no way Jose.
Boy was I wrong.
Lily slept with me for her first 3 days in the hospital. How could I let her go now? She's 4 months old and I don't know when she will move out of my bed.
We put her in her pack-n-play if she falls asleep before we go to bed and it is so hard for me to sleep if she's not next to me. I guess its good that its only happened 2 or 3 times. :)
My Lily is the same way as your Gable. As soon as I get us she's up too. No matter how quiet I am.
Oh god as for naps. Apparently my arms are much more comfortable then any of the other places in the house. In fact that is what she's doing right now.
You have beautiful kids.
i am not sure if i have a story of sleep, or just the lack thereof. no kids yet, but in two weeks there will be. she has been disrupting my sleeping habits for the past few months already. fortunately she seems to generally sleep through the night - she doesn't wake up when i get up to pee every two hours. she DOES wake up at 5am though, and obviously thinks i ought to be awake as well, if her kicks and punches are any indication. i no longer sleep with my husband in our bed because it is too uncomfortable and then neither one of us sleeps. it will be interesting to see how things change once she is no longer confined to my belly.
Our baby will be here practically any time now. We want to share our bed with him but we fear it's too small (full size). We plan on using a bassinet, but I guess we'll just have to see what happens! ;-)
Beautifully written! Love it!
I want to co-sleep with my kids (when we have them). But I am not sure yet if we will. I am afraid of rolling over on them.
My mom tells me not to do it because the baby will get attached to sleeping with you and then never leave the bed.
I guess I'll just have to make that decision when it comes!
Since she was a baby, Lila has easily fallen asleep on the couch. She is so beautiful while she sleeps that I don't put her to bed until I go.
No baby to write about, but just had to say that I loved that post. So beautiful, Rebecca!
I'm so torn. I haven't had mine yet, and I always planned for him/her to sleep in a bassinet in the room and then in a crib in their own room... But looking at those pictures and listening to your descriptions sways me. Lol. DH will not be pleased... But I'm sure that I will try it at some point. The pictures are amazing BTW. Fable is the cutest baby ever.
Oh sleep, my most yearned for friend and most feared enemy.
My babies have always slept in a bassinet or crib in my room (depending on where we lived and how big my room was) until they could no longer stand my snoring, and my husband's snoring. And I'm terribly glad my son was sleeping in my room in his bassinet when he was first home from the hospital.
If he had not been within my view, he would be dead now because he stopped breathing. My husband did VPR while I freaked out at the guy running 911 dispatch. Luckily he's alright, but that was his first anaphylaxis. At little over 39 hours old.
Since that day I have yearned to be able to sleep peacefully. I can't do it. I have nightmares. I wake up and check on him 8 or 9 times every night...and this happened almost 3 years ago. He sleeps in his own room, but I have one of those breathing/sound baby monitors on all the time.
I get up in the night and put my hand on his back, feeling his delicate rib cage moving beneath me and I feel such a rush of relief, every time. I hear his tiny soft snores, watch his nearly-translucent eyelids flutter, silver threads of drool clinging to his hand as he chews it in his sleep. Just to be alive is the best gift ever.
After all, sleep is for the weak, right?
i love that you let your baby stay in your bed with you. that is one of the sweetest things in the world. i know i will be just like when i have my own children...sleeping babies are so theraputic! but for now we'll (hubby and i) have to do with our rat terrier and golden doodle. they are both stinky as hell, but so lovey. they might drive me nuts when they are waking me up a 100 times a night to go outside, but i could never imagine it another way. they might get the boot from the bedroom once a baby comes along, but for now its how we roll!
I don't have any children yet besides my 3 year old daschund so I'm entering just for the book for Mother's Day. I sleep cuddled up next to the love of my life while our "daughter" sleeps in her crate next to the bed. She wakes up around 7 every single morning so I reach down to open her crate and she climbs up her little puppy stairs to fall back asleep with us until we have to get up. Of course, when my boyfriend and I are apart for the night she sleeps with me in the bed :-)
I don't have kids yet but this is my little sleep story. My fiance has worked nights since we started dating, so I've never had to share the bed with him at night. My oldest cat and I (we apparently are co-dependent according to the feline behaviorist) sleep curled up together with her body in the crook of my arm and her head on my shoulder. Every night.
The fiance just found out that he's most likely getting shifted to day work; and while I'm happy to get to live a more normal life with him, I'm a little sad that it won't just be me and my little furbeast in the bed anymore.
I wish i had a story of sleep to share, but as of right now my 9 month old wont let me get any! haha
my 1st son didn't sleep through the night on a regular basis until he was 2... a month later i brought his baby brother home with me.. so it's been a Very Very long time since i've had anything more than a couple of hours here and there.. did i also forget to mention, my oldest ( 3 in June ) gave up naps when he was 18 mths old?! oh one day will come when i can sleep again, they're only little for so long right?!
I don't have a story of co-sleeping with child - as I do not have any. However, I do have a strange habit of collecting all six of my animals (2 dogs, 4 cats), and my husband and stuffing all of us into one, very small, queen sized bed. I love having all their bodies enmeshed with mine as I sleep. And as much as it sucks to wake up in the middle of the night because your leg is cramping under the weight of your 100 lb dog, it's so very much worth it. It's comforting to have that many warm bodies surrounding me as I sleep. Judging by this behavior, I will most likely fall into the co-sleeping habit one day when I have children.
My son slept with us every night, for probably the first 6 or 7 weeks. Once I went back to work I decided to get actual restful sleep, I'd have to put him in his bassinet.
He's now 7 months old and is still in his bassinet beside my bed. He's outgrowing it and I know he'd sleep in his crib just fine, but I'm the one that doesn't want him further away then an arm's reach.
And secretly, I still love those nights when I can't get him down unless he's snuggled in bed with me. ;)
We didn't cosleep with our first, she was in the bassinette and then moved to her own room and crib at about 4 months.
#2 whole different story. She slept with us for about 7 months, then we moved and she was banished (by daddy) to her own room and crib. I still miss those moments. That's probably why we co-nap a lot, while daddy is at work.
Lis_henson@digitalpath.net
I CANNOT sleep with out my husband in bed with me. If he is in the office finishing work, I will toss and turn until he joins me. This is especially hard when he is away for more than one night.
I need to get better about sleeping alone.
My story of sleep begins with me tiptoeing to bed well after midnight, in an effort not to wake my sleeping husband. I work at home late into the night so I can stay home with our kids during the day. I lay in bed, half asleep, waiting for the inevitable 1:00 or 1:25 wakeup call from Violet - in her crib in the next room. I wish we slept well together. I can only take so many kicks in the neck and elbows in the chest before what little sleep I get becomes just a wishful dream...We're new friends on Facebook, by the way ;)
My daughter SydenyRae slept with me until she was five months old. I love the sound of her breathing, her giggles and her silent smiles as she dreamed. When I decided to put her in her crib of course she cried and cried and I would go back every three minutes [even though the book I was reading said five. five was unbearable] comfort her and sit in the bathroom and cry and she did. After three days of the "sleep method" my mother insisted was a God-send I put her in her crib....and silence...she slept! Now, she is two and sleeping through the night. Her crib is still in my room and even though it is there because of living arrangements, I would have it no other way. My alarm clock in the morning is Sydney standing in her crib throwing her stuffed animals at my sleeping head saying, "OO MORNING MOMMY, AKE UP MOMMY, I LUB YOU MOMMY".[translation: "good morning, wake up, I love you] The best alarm clock I will ever have.
I didn't sleep for like... 4 years. That sounds impossible, but trust me, it's not. I just didn't sleep. I couldn't - I was bad at it.
That all came to a screeching hault about 2 and a half months ago, when I got myself good and knocked up. Who knew gestating was so exhausting? Now I sleep everywhere, all the time. I get tired after I eat (which is constantly) or when I'm hungry (Which is also constant.)
Hell, I may be asleep right now.
And I can't think of anything more delicious than waking up to this baby in 7 months, burying my nose in his/her neck and breathing deep. Envy, thy name is Me.)
Sleep? I'm in the last 3-4 weeks of my first pregnancy and I can honestly say that I really miss sleeping through the night. I know that frequent trips to the toliet or the fact that I have to actually wake up to make a very noisy effort to turn over are just nature's way of preparing me for the soon-to-be lack of sleep due to a new baby...but really...nature is mean.
I tell myself that Jane is still sleeping with us at nearly 2 because we live in a one bedroom and it is just practical. I say that I am just too lazy to sleep train her. And though I lose hair, lose sleep, and get groped at all hours, I just can't get enough. Waking up next to her and lounging in bed, hearing her midnight groans and whispers, I feel like I get to know her better. Well that, and the cuddling is not bad either.
She will never forget how comfortable it is with you. How safe she feels. I was moved to the crib at about 8 months.
When I was older (won't say how old), I couldn't get to sleep. I was afraid and couldn't drift off to sleep. So I went and talked to my mom, laid down in her bed and as we talked, I slept.
Oh, I really hope I win this one:) I was drooling over the Bjorn Bouncer just the other day as it seems amazingly better than the vibrating chairs we ended up with!
My sweet ones sleep in their own cribs, in their own room. We decided that was the wise thing to do since there are 2 of them and I am the lightest sleeper in the world!
Sometimes though I miss them so much at night I sneak in and smell the residue of the day on them. And in the mornings when we walk in and they see us, we get the best HAPPY MORNING smiles around.
Their morning smiles are what I dream about at night...
My First daughter Scarlett June was born 7 weeks premature weighing in at a tiny 2 pounds , 5 ounces.She spent 6 weeks in the NICU and I was rarely allowed to hold her,Instead settling for a hand poked through the arm holes in her humidi-crib so I could stroke the paper thin skin on her tiny hands.She was so small that my engagement ring could fit over her foot and up to her ankle.
When they sent her home with us,she was 4 pound 12 Ounces,still tiny but huge in comparison to her birth weight.We were so proud of her.
I tried to put her into her bassinette,but I found myself laying awake all night listening to every breath she took,making sure the next one came.Putting her into the bed beside me was the only way I could get any seep.
Everyone would always comment on how tiny she was,but I always thought she fit perfectly into the crook of my elbow each night as we would both drift off to sleep.It was co-sleeping that made me feel like she was truly mine,Like no-one was going to come and tell me our time was up and I had to put her back into the crib and go home,I was finally her Mama.
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I love this description. I miss the co-sleeping. My two were sick a few weeks ago and would literally pass out in our bed in the mornings when we have books in bed time. My youngest, 16 months old, fell asleep on her father's head. It was the cutest thing I have ever seen. Unfortunately I didn't have a camera near by or I would have documented for life.
I covet the Bjorn seat and have a sister-in-law who is expecting. I am definitely getting her one of those.
Daisy
We didn't cosleep but now that my daughter is 4 and she comes into our room to sleep, I pretend not to see or hear her creep into the bed as I love snuggling with her and smelling her little girl breath and her hair. Every morning my husband wakes and asks why Riley is in our bed again and I pretend that I didn't know she was there. I don't know if he believes me or not but that's my story and I'm sticking to it!
My first baby is due in a few weeks and the idea of her sleeping with me makes me smile! Especially since I'll have to go back to work, I think keeping her close will be something I want. We shall see....
Oh my goodness, are her eyes turning green? Her eyes are stunning.
We didn't co-sleep with any of my three kids. I was tempted to do it with the first one but my hubby refused on the grounds that our bed was our private space, for the two of us, our place to recharge and get some blessed time for ourselves.
Couples need a place for themselves. We still tell each other stories at bedtime and snuggling together is one of my favorite activities.
We devote so much time and effort to the kids. We need to have our little hideaway, where we can remember that we're a married couple in love and not just a mommy and a daddy.
Well it all started two years ago when we brought him home from the hospital...At first Matt and I were definitely going to have him sleep in his crib...however since I was a nursing mama, it was so much easier to have him in bed with us. Right in between, except when I had to jump over him to switch boobies for nursing! ha ha :) I thought that when I stopped nursing around 13 months that he would finally sleep in his crib but...he is way to cute and cuddly to put in a crib, all by himself, in another room! How sad! It is the best to wake up in the morning and see his angelic face still dreaming.So for our sleeping arrangements we make an "H" and now that we have another little boy on the way, due in two weeks...I have no idea of what to do except thank the lord we have a California King! ha ha
I was a terrible sleeper when I was a kid, scared of the dark and I had wickid bad nightmares. My Dad had to sleep with me all the time. Not sure why that was, but I am determined that my daughter will not have the same fate! To her crib she goes with no night light or soothing sounds. Show no fear Piper! Hope it works.
I am four months pregnant, and my current sleep story goes something like this: 9:30pm - fall into the sleep of dead people. I've never been so tired in my entire life. 10:05 pm - must pee! UP UP UP! 10:10pm - begin the pillow dance... one between the knees, one behind the back, one under the tummy, one under the head, settle JUST SO. 11:15-11:20pm - left leg's asleep! Turn over... pillow dance once again. 12:15am - pee! Again! OMG! Lather, rinse, repeat until 6:30am.
I look forward to the idea that someday I'll lazily wake inhaling my little one's scent. Until then? Misery with a lot of pillows.
I didn't START the co-sleeping until Gabriel was 15 months old. That's when I went back to work. It's like stolen extra hours together.
I didn't get to co-sleep with my baby, although I really wanted to. I think I did it for my own sanity. I already wake up 3 times a night to go and check on him, to make sure he is still breathing. He is 19months now and I'm fairly sure he will be ok through the night, but I still have to check on him before I go to bed and at least once or twice in the middle of the night.
My mom and I were "illegal immigrants" from 1990-1995. At one point, we shared a one bedroom apartment with an older lady. In our room we had a dresser, a tv, and fold-out couch. For two years we slept together on that fold out couch. I remember cuddles, closeness, and me asking her a lot of absurd questions. After two years, the older lady moved out. My mom was terrified of having to pay the whole rent... but she made it work and she moved out of bedroom and off of my fold-out couch.
Oh how I needed this post! I crave commonality in this area of motherhood, as I am alone in the family-bed camp!
My 8 mth old daughter has been sleeping in our bed since she was about 2 months old. She started out beautifully in her bassinet beside us, but how much easier it was to night nurse in bed! I have back pains, arm pains, and my hips are off from sleeping on my side - but instead of moving her out, we've just bought a king-sized bed! I love her curled up next to me, a leg thrown over mine, one small hand under my chest and the other on my arm. And I can't recall a single morning that she hasn't greeted me with her amazing lil' smile.
Not only is she in the bed with us, but nursing is still the only way I can get her to sleep... and when (if) she naps, it's always on me. When I put her in her crib, it's as if she's being laid on a hot bed of coals! Ha. Crying it out has never been an option.
Just as many others have shared, "admitting" this to family and friends has been difficult, but WHY? I beat myself up for not being more confident in my decisions. But it's so true - this time is fleeting and is there anything in the world more important than our time together?
Every night no matter the time, before I crwl into bed and go to sleep I peek at my son. I cover him up make sure his Blanket is close by and I kiss him. I whisper to him "I love you". On my needier nights I pick up his 40 pound 2.9 year old frame and rock him and snuggle his sleepy body that quickly finds that mommy sweet spot and drifts off to sleep. I hope he's okay with me continuing this until he moves out.
I now wish I'd co-slept with my 13 month old. we had made the decision before he was born that he would be in his cot from the very beginning, which he was. He was really happy having the space but I feel like i've missed out.
we've recently returned from a visit to family overseas and Will is really struggling to adapt. I tried co-sleeping with him last night in the fold-out bed in his room but it was just to exciting for him - i called it a day when he tried to crawl off the bed.
Maybe when #2 comes along things will be a bit different
kathryn_f@yahoo.com
My almost 4 year old still sleeps with her dad and our almost 2 year old still sleeps with me. Our 2 year old is probably ok to sleep on her own but I just can't give it up I love holding her and having her fit so perfect in my arms.
The same with the 4 year old but due to to fact that the oldest wakes a lot with bad dreams we haven't been able to combine the two in the same bed, so that's why I have the two year old with me and my husband has the older one. We used to try and switch it up, but my older one only thinks that Daddy can chase away the monsters and my youngest just prefers me.
I love co-sleeping and it's really going to break my heart when its over.
there is nothing (NOTHING!) i love more on a saturday morning than bringing our babe into the bed at his early morning wake-up. and maybe my favorite is when i wake up and he's staring right at me, waiting for me to play. so darn sweet in the morning, it rots my teeth.
So freakin' sweet! Fable is so gorgeous and delicious.
such sweetness! i'm not sure how you will ever break this habit :)
i sleep surrounded by pillows and 2 extra spoiled, extra snuggly spoiled dogs. oh, and one little bean in the oven! :)
my husband complains that he sleeps through the entire night without touching me sometimes. he wants to go back to our smaller queen size bed, but sadly i am getting the best sleep i've had in years.
oh my goodness. i can't wait for that sweetness in two months.
Our first son typically still sleeps with us and he is quickly approaching 4. At times I say that we are done with this, but then we snuggle in bed and drift to sleep and I think I couldn't bear the thought of not having him with us. He has his own bed and usually my husband will wait until he is asleep(and me as well) and put him in his bed. Our other son always slept alone... even from the day he was born.. that is just how he rolls..
Christine in Cali
V only slept in a swing during the day until she was about 6 months old, I was so sad to give up the swing. She also slept in her crib or the Pack n Play in our room until she was 6 months. I will, however, have a chair for nursing the next one in our room. I had an elaborate pillow palace set up in order to breastfeed V in bed.
I hope baby #2 (still in planning phase) will sleep in a bouncy seat, or something other than the swing, because V always flopped over with her face on the pillowy things that were supposed to be for keeping her upright. Ha ha to that.
Okay, I can only admit this to you people because none of you know who I am. I never planned to co-sleep, and rolled my eyes at my brother and sister in law for co-sleeping with their children well into toddlerhood.
Then I had my own kids, and nothing happened as I planned. With my firstborn, I managed to to put him is a crib at around 4 months. The crib was still in our bedroom; we had a only one bedroom in the house. But when my daughter can around, she w WOULD NOT sleep in a crib. I fought it for MONTHS, even though my every mothering instinct was telling me to bring her to bed with me. Finally I gave up the fight. A month or so after that my firstborn joined us again, probably feeling left out, and we've all four been together ever since. However, I am embarrassed to admit that now she is 5 and he is 7! I actually still love it, as does my husband. He is less inclined to put an end to it than I am. Please don't think we weird! The plan is to make the move this summer, but they have already caught on, and were excited about shopping for bunkbeds until they realized that we were actually planning to make them SLEEP in them. I'm afraid I'm an example of co-sleeping gone overboard.
Vicki
I swore our daughter would never sleep in our room, let alone in our bed. Of course then I had her and tried to put her in her crib so far away and couldn't sleep a wink. At two weeks the colic started and she would only stop screaming after my husband drove her around for an hour. He would arrive home bleary eyed and drop her car seat and all on the bed in between us and that is how we slept for weeks. Slowly we moved her car seat to the floor and then at 4 months the doctor told us we needed to get her out of the car seat and so we moved her to that big crib so far away. Now she sleeps with us when she is sick, but otherwise she loves her crib. She moves from one end to the other , it is her little palace. But those nights when she doesn't feel good and she wraps her tiny little hand in the strap of my tank top are magical (even with the tiny amount of space I am left with.)
My son starts the night snuggled in his own crib (20 months he is) under his soft duvet, surrounded by bears, a caterpillar, caribou and chocolate lab. By 5 AM he's stirring, mumbling 'Mama' and reaching for me, standing shut eyed in his bed clinging to the rail. I scoop him up for cuddles so that he'll fall back asleep for another hour and half. Mama is no morning person, and when he sleeps in until 8 AM I am sure happy to share my twin bed!
Just found your blog and LOVE it.
I have a 2 1/2 year old who doesn't sleep unless he's in his own bed. He's actually asked me to leave before after storytime. "okay momma, night-night time" Now my 4 month old twins. yeah, well for about 2 months my husband and I slept with babies on our chests. It's all about survival with those beautiful moments in-between
Our story of sleep is still evolving, still elusive... little Chloe is two weeks and a day old and most nights I can only sleep by hearing her soft breaths as she lays in the crib next to our bed. But some nights, after I've answered her cries for food, I take her into our bed and nestle her in the soft warm spot between my chin and my elbow and watch those same breaths rise and fall her little chest. I fight sleep because I fear I'll roll over and smother her. So I enjoy the brief moments of taking in her scent, feeling my arm go numb beneath her and then gently lift and return her to her crib. I can't imagine her being farther than an arm's reach from me. I'm not ready to let go anytime soon.
I sleep well, untill about 3am and I have to get up and go pee because I'm pregnant. Then the baby wakes me up around 6am by kicking me.
My sleep story is also about when I fell in love with my husband. When puppy love, immature love, deepened to REAL love. My daughter didn't sleep in her crib or on any other flat surface for the first week of her life because she slept in my husband's arms. He would sit up ALL NIGHT with her holding her, comforting her, because he was scared to let her go. Scared she would cry, scared she would stop breathing, scared of everything that is a newborn baby girl. So he held her, upright, for hours while she dreamed and I dreamed about princes and knights on white horses...we already have ours.
We co-slept with our now 2 year-old until he was about 18 months. Loved it. Hope to do it with our next. Although it sucks at first not being able to pull the covers up to your chin!
Aren't you two just the sweetest? What is it about second children where you just appreciate them more? Less worrying, more enjoying. True for me, at least.
I don't have children, but I have a mother. A mother who never seems to mind when I drive two hours to sleep in her bed after yet another break-up with a boyfriend.
She rubs my forehead and I'm once again four-years-old and she's the most important thing in my world.
I raised four kids and luckily they learned right away to sleep in their own bed. They still got plenty of love, cuddles, nurturing and breast feeding from me, their SAHM. I certainly think 'to each his own' but personally I think it's a bad habit. Most because every one I've known who falls into it ends up having to pat their kids to sleep until nine or ten years old. When people say 'those who don't like it don't have to get up with a baby all night' - well, when I was pregnant I knew I would have to get up and down all night with a baby. What did you expect. I don't believe in CIO method. If you start good habits from day one, your baby will never have to cry-it-out. And I believe you 'teach' your kids, not 'train' them.
When my Emma was a few months old we used to co-sleep from 6:30 am to 11am or noon, daddy was up getting ready for work and she used to woke up, eat and then I put her on beb with me, I used to built a pillow wall and I put my bed agains the wall so I could do this, I LOVE IT! I love the way she used to be awake looking at me (I used to fake I was still asleep) waiting for mommy to open her eyes, and when I did, her face lighted up! is was the most amazing feeling in the world, look at that lil smile all ready to start a brand new day. Now she's 1, she hasn't co-sleep with me since she started crawling at 6mo, I miss it so much! now every time I put her in bed she will stand up and try to walk on the matress (scary), at nights when she's sick I've tried to co-sleep and she will not lay still, oh! men , I say: keep sleeping with her as long as you can!
Thank you for this beautiful post!
In the beginning, my husband and I tried those co-sleeper things that attach to the bed. Even with that she ended up in bed with me. Then we moved and the co-sleeper broke. That was a wonderful mishap. Sweet Zoey was two months old has been beside me ever since. She's now 10 months and transitioning into her crib. I still sometimes pull her into the bed with me in the mornings.
And we still nap together. I wrote this poem for her soon after we moved into our new house:
"And I napped with her today..."
Boxes to move
Bills to pay
All can wait
We napped today.
A cool bedroom
A snuggly warm bed
The best place on Earth
my cheek to her head.
Her outstrecthed arm
the cutest sight
The afternoon sun
a perfect light.
Her sweet face changes
with every dream
Here, we are
a napping team.
I promise her moments
like this forever
No matter her age
No matter the weather.
Mama and Baby
turn sleep into play
Our love ever-growing
We napped today.
Oh! The things you say you will never do before you have kids!! I swore our baby Crew would sleep in his crib from the very beginning. It sounded so easy!! How little I knew. It never happened, until my husband came up with a plan... We slept on the air mattress in his room. Finally, a week later I peeled myself away from his room and slept in our bed. This is the first time I have admitted this. It's too embarrassing after I talked about how easy it would be to put him in his crib as a newborn. I still have urges to snatch him out of his crib and bring him to bed to sleep with us. I lay in bed and think about how much I miss him! Is it really worth it?!
I am almost 9-months pregnant...so I have enjoyed almost 36 blissful weeks of co-sleeping (with her inside of me, that is). I do not know what it will be like to fall asleep without her gentle movements in my belly, but I know that I will miss them. Having her here, though, to gently move in the outside world, will be quite a comfort. I cannot wait.
The timing of your post couldn't be more perfect for my family. My little baby G is 8 months old and has never been able to sleep on her own. She HATES her crib and I have been stressing out about getting her to sleep on her own. I think it is only because relatives tell me I need to "break her" of this co-sleeping habit. What - is she a horse? She slept one night in her crib and I didn't sleep at all. I missed her "Kung Fu Panda" legs kicking me all night.
Co-sleeping is like the most delicious decadent piece of cake I can imagine eating. Her smiles in the morning are worth every jab to my side.
Thank you for your beautiful words.
I'm 31 weeks along and our baby is pretty active both day and night, so I get to enjoy his or her wiggles during the day. It's my husband's turn at night when I pass out with my belly pressed against his back, and I love when he gives me morning reports before he leaves for work. We plan to co-sleep once the baby is born and I can't begin to express how excited I am to be so close to that day!
I swore my seven month old baby-ray-o-sunshine would be out of our bed by six months, too. Then I realized that meant FAR! Away! in her own ROOM?! My angel baby that most certainly would stop breathing if I wasn't there to encourage her (perfectly healthy) lungs to breath?
I am torn between wanting to sleep without the crick in my arm, and the feet in my bladder like I'm pregnant again-and wanting to smell sweetbabyhead all night. And those blissful drowsy baby nursing sessions at 3am? How could they be as cozy and life affirming in her nursery in a rocking chair? Those are my favorite moments as her mommy. All cozied up, baby sighs and fat bellies.
I think that we're doing what is best for US. for her. for me. For her Daddy who gets to kiss us goodbye every morning, all snuggled up together.
I love that, at seven months, all I have to do is lie next to her and softly caress her belly and she falls asleep in 10 minutes flat. This from a baby that REFUSED to sleep any other way than on my torso/in my arms for the first five months of her life. I think I have helped her to trust sleep. That I Mommy is always there and it's safe to drift off to sleep.
Besides, who am I kidding? How well could I sleep with her so far away any way?
what sleep? ha.
beck (8.5 months) sleeps in his crib and i'm up with him 2 plus times a night rocking that sweet angel back to dream land.
ian and stella (7 and 4) will at random and sometimes at the SAME time end up in our bed. cuddling and snuggling till morning. and although it is hard to sleep with an elbow to the throat or snoring in the ear - i can't bear to carry them back to their own beds. i'd sooner leave my own. precious babies.
luv em.
What a delicious description of your sweet sleep with Fable!
so sweet, so heavenly! the words are exactly how I've felt with Gus the last 4 1/2 years... exactly! we still co-sleep and he'll be 5 years old in August. We love sharing a bed together. i love cuddling with him and so does the daddy. i can't imagine a morning without easy access snuggles with my boy! in the words of the simpsons, "you gotta do, whatcha gotta do chief".
Lillienne is 10 weeks and has been sleeping in her crib in her own room for about a week now. Before this, she was in a cradle next to our bed, and I have to say I really miss her having her so close, seeing her blankets move in the dark, hearing her giggle in her sleep. I have found a brilliant solution to the "missing her like crazy" feeling. We take long, luxurious, cozy naps in my big bed. I snuggle her up against my chest, fit my nose in the space above hers, and fall asleep breathing her in, her fingers wrapped around my hands and my lips on the tip of her nose.
Never have I experienced a love like this before.
You write beautifully, Rebecca, and I always look forward to your posts, pictures, and insight.
Thanks.
Sarah
Yeah, my daughter was supposed to sleep beside the bed in a bassinet, but... I couldn't- strike that, CAN'T stand for her to not be there. She turned two a couple of weeks ago.
I love having my baby beside me. I don't really know when or how the transition to her own bed will occur, but I am enjoying the closeness while it lasts.
I love this blog! You always touch on something I can relate to.
I never planned to co-sleep, but my first daughter wouldn't sleep anywhere but on my chest for the first two months of her lift. By the time she was capable of sleeping in her own room, I was hooked on having her right beside me.
We weren't going to co-sleep. No way. Our bed belonged to my husband and I. Like you said....no babies allowed. My daughter will turn 13 months in 3 days and I can't bear the thought of putting her in her own bed. I feel complete knowing she's with me. And, in her world, our bed is her bed. How could we kick her out?
My 1st son slept in his crib (no way he was going to be in MY bed). Of course he had night terrors so by the time he was in a reg. bed I would have to go sleep there... Then dad went to Korea when he was 3 and he moved into my bed. My 2nd son... still not having a baby in my bed... (He was a couch sleeper until he was 9). You put him in bed and he ended up on the couch sometime during the night. No more Nick @ Nite for me - he might wake up. Now my 3rd son (the chicken changed ;-) Put me in Michigan with a crappy heat system, you can't let the baby be cold. He finally moved out of our bed a couple of months ago (he is 2). Now #4... Dad says baby will be in a crib like the first 2... My guess that won't work out to well - Dad will be kicked to the couch come the end of Sept ;-)JK - he can move over isn't that why we bought the new king size bed???
Lovely post. My babies have slept in their own rooms from day one, but I always kept a mattress in there that I would lay on with them while I fed them in the nights, often falling asleep there for hours, snuggled in together.
The love that you have for Fable and the way that you write about her is nothing short of INCREDIBLE! Wow. I know it's weird to say this because I do not know you but, I love the way you love Fable. Why? Because not all parents love their children the way that you do. And for loving Fable with all of your being; I commend you for that. <3 <3 <3
Never stop writing about your children. Never.
In the morning she awakens too early, my bleary eyes stair at the floor as I shuffle into her room and scoop her out of the crib. She breathily sighs "Mum, my Mum" and melts in my arms.
We together shuffle back across the hall, and like two intertwined ribbons burrow under the duvet, warm, snuggling, dreaming.
Bliss.
______
So I like to say I co-sleep nap. And it's wonderful.
Nice to hear that I'm not the only one that is utterly addicted to co-sleeping.
I keep hearing from aunts, pediatrician, friends, etc, to get the baby out of my bed and into his crib. BUT I CAN'T! It started about a month ago, when he was 3 months-old, as a means to help me sleep through the night. In his crib he woke up every 1 to 2 hours all night long. That was KILLING me. In my bed we both sleep well and it's just a sweet haze of sleep, shuffle, nurse, sleep.
I, like you, couldn't imagine my little girl in another space, let alone another room while we slept. She's a little piece of me that I want to keep close.
I would miss her so much if she was further than arms reach & we are so in tune.
I love our family bed & there's no getting around it.
OMG, I hate children in my bed!! Actually, I don't hate children in my bed, I hate my 3 year old in my bed!! With my first two, I was a single mom who slept with the kids in her bed because there was no other adult body to cramp our style, and it was cool if my toddler wanted to sleep across the pillows and my infant wanted to suck boob all night, because it was just the three of us and we were happy that way! But by the time my third rolled around, the first two were in their own beds, in their rooms, and I had the most space-consuming husband on the planet, and adding a little fart into the mix made me miserable because I was sleeping over, under, around and through their random labyrinthes of arms and legs and butting-heads! It only took the baby a few short weeks to figure out that she was more comfy in her crib, where she slept happily for a year! Then, one day, she just decided that she wasn't going to go to sleep unless it was in our bed, with at least one parent in it with her, and I've been tortured for the past two years by no space, no blankets, cramped elbow and shoulder joints, numb appendages, and the incredible backpain caused by my scoliosis, which is aggravated by not being able to sleep flat on my back. This baby never tolerated being snuggled or sniffed or curled up in anyone's arms - she just wants to splay her body out across the bed and not have any part of anyone else touching her or invading her space! I need my own bed.
I can soooo relate. First kid, slept in her crib from one month old. I too promised my husband that #2 would be out of the bed by 6 months. Sixteen and a half months later, I can't bear to be without her at night. Secretly I believe that if I keep her there with me at night she will stay little and be my baby forever. We are not having any more kids so I am hanging on to her baby-ness for dear life. Every morning I awake to her happy baby smile and the most delicous "Hi Mama." you have ever heard. If you wait until Fable starts talking you will never let her out of the bed. When the little whispers between you in the morning start and the giggles and nonsensical secrets, Oh my! You're done.
My daughter slept in a bassinet in our room until she was five months old. I felt bereft when we moved her into her own room/crib, but vaguely (and guiltily) relieved at the same time. I need my sleep to function. But I love that she now stomps up the stairs most mornings to crawl in beside me, either nose-to-nose or snuggled up spoon-like on our sides, to tell me her dreams or ask me to rub her back.
It's like waking up with the sweetest sunshine.
I'm missing my little 6 month year old boy, I wish he was still sleeping with us. When he was about 3 months old he decided he would prefer to sleep in a crib next to our bed, but our cats kept trying to sleep on his face (both of them at the same time) and if we locked the cats out they would scratch and scratch at the door all night. So, finally I decided to put him in the crib in, gasp, the nursery. Very scary to me that he would be in a whole other room. But he seems to prefer his own space, so I am left with cuddling up to him in our bed during day time naps and I absolutely love love nursing him in bed, the closest cuddle hug there is.
It is two in the morning when my son cries from his room. My body aches, thinking of sleeping in his cramped bed. What were we thinking, when we picked out that twin mattress? Piles of blankets and stuffed animals leave little room for more than one. But in I climb, my head resting on a tiny pillow, my nose in his sweet blond hair, damp with sweat. The already small space is made smaller when he curves into my body. And yet, I fall into a dreamless, perfect sleep, waking only to answer his demand, whispered in my ear, "Cuddle me, mama."
Both of my boys, (3 and 1) slept in "our" bed. The oldest now sleeps in his own bed, but sneaks to my side when daddy isn't looking. The little one sleeps at my other side, every once in a while he may stay in his crib (which is also at my bedside). I just can't stand to be apart from them. Sometimes, I don't even realize it but both of them end up with me in bed, and I find my husband asleep in my toddler's bed. He tells me he needed more room. It's a KING size bed. Sorry we knocked the King out of it. ;-) That's ok, we all were sleeping anyway. But I have a really hard time sleeping when my babies aren't next to me, because they are the only ones who don't turn away when I cuddle, as to say, "Leave me alone". And leaving you cold on the far side of the bed.
Sleeping with Isobel has been the highlight of our time together. Our love affair. When she was only a few weeks old, I would sleep naked sometimes with my beautiful new baby across me, I can still remember the feeling of the rise and fall of her chest against mine. We were one when she was within me and it felt like she had never left me - we were still one. 'Co-sleeping' as us westerners have labelled it is as natural as breathing.In China, the tradition is to sleep with baby between Mum and Dad and it is said that Mum and Dad are the mountains and the baby is the river that flows between them... the life force.
Oh.. and we still sleep together from the middle of the night until morning. Mum, Dad and Isobel. We call it 'mum sandwhich' because I am in the middle and we are all spooning!! (she is 10 months old now!)
Loving the end of our fifth month with our first. We settle in as she snuggles up to her daddy listening to his end of day dump about our home office, technology and our wedding in eep! 23 hours.
Unless I give her reason to be uncomfortable, she's still through most the night. I wake up when she starts wiggling. By 7:30 usually. All in all? In love with our little girl already.
Is it considered co-sleeping when the baby is still inside? =) In any case, it feels that way, with all the jabs to the ribs and bladder and general innards, and cramped arms/shoulders and sore hips, and minus all of the sweet kisses and baby skin. Sleep. I miss sleeping on my stomach/back. I can't wait to have this baby here.
We co-slept for the first couple of weeks and then realized that he slept better in his crib, and I slept 150% better alone with NO ONE touching me, not even DH. For awhile we would cosleep from the 4 am feeding until 6 am, but then I couldn't go back to sleep, so I was miserable. Eventually we nightweaned, and then later we weaned weaned (18 mos), and now we are all sleeping happily in our respective beds/cribs.
sweet story, i miss those cuddly times. have been eyeing that book, would love to win.
Babies sleeping is one of the scariest things for me. Probably because I don't have a baby of my own, yet I babysit a lot of babies and I always worry I am doing something wrong and they'll stop breathing. So, with a sister about to pop any day, and a best friend already 4 cm dilated, I'm curious how they'll treat their sleeping habits with these new bundles. I am about the hardest sleeper known to man, but when a baby is in the next room, I wake up to even the slightest sigh, again, babies sleeping make me a little nervous! Love your post, your daughter is adorable.
I have co-slept (is that the right word?) with all three of my babies. My youngest is two months and adore his little face in the morning. The other two were moved into their own beds when they were 2 years old.
Since this is my last baby I don't want him to grow up and out of my bed too fast.
I'm not sure I'll count for this contest, as I'm not a mom...per se. By my Very Good Friend is due in 3 weeks and she just went on maternity leave, per Dr.'s orders, and joined her laid-off husband at home. They could use a little extra. So, on behalf of her, and little A, whom I am terribly excited to meet...My husband and I share our queen bed with two cats and a dog. This is typically how the sleeping arrangements go: dog between us, stretched out lean and long so she's basically a 3rd person; one cat on my head (or very, very near it) which is actually more delightful than it sounds (the purr lulls me to sleep and her soft fur serves as a lovely light blocker); and finally, the other cat in the crook of my knees, under the covers, because he gets cold easily. I'm loved/laid on from head to toe. This used to happen in a full bed until we upgraded. Not sure where the kid will fit in whenever that day comes...
PS: I saw you recently at Dooce's book signing, got celebrity-sighting excited before I embarrassed myself, and chicken out from talking to you. I was the odd one gawking at you. Sorry about that.
YES YES YES. I just couldn't understand the folks who would say, "she will never leave your bed". We miss her when she's gone. Most nights, she will wake up and wander in our room (still now at almost 3 years old). When she sleeps until 7am in her own bed, we wake up lonely.
Even my husband, who thought he wanted her gone, misses her. He sometimes pines to sneak in her room and carry her sleeping body back into our room.
There's just NOTHING like that morning wake-up ... with two little hands on your cheeks giving you kisses and HUGE smiles. "I happy see you, Mama!"
Cosleeping rocks. I don't care what anyone says.
I am pregnant with my first, and undecided on co-sleeping. Rebecca, your overwhelming love and beautiful descriptions make it seem like a dream though. The only 'co-sleeping' I have experience with is my furry crew of dogs and cats. Now it is just the cats when they want, because the dogs would hog the covers! I just hope, whatever the arrangements, this little baby sleeps!
I just sort of instinctively started co-sleeping with my baby girl. It was the only way either one of us could get some sleep. She's 4 now, and I still sleep with her. Sometimes I just lay down with her and wait for her to fall asleep, but most often I doze off before she does!
I'm almost 7 months pregnant...so sleep consists of laying on one side until I wake up with my hips screaming at me...and then I switch to the other. Rinse and repeat until dawn.
We never really did cosleep. My daughter and I would fall asleep for a few minutes during the middle of the night feedings, but that was it. I would wake up every time she made a cute little baby noise. She slept in our room in her pack & play until I went back to work, but mama needed sleep. Every coo or sigh would wake me up, then I would listen to make sure she was breathing. Too much stress for me!
Sleep has been a hot commodity for me as of late--I'm about 7.5 month pregnant right now. Doing anything for an extended period of time is uncomfortable. However, when my son, who is now 2, was born, his crib was parked right next to our bed. It worked great for nighttime feedings/changings, but by the time he was 5.5 months old, I realized how little I was sleeping while tiptoeing around him.
The lack of sleep was driving me nuts, so that's when we moved him. I'm not sure if the same thing will happen again this time around, but baby's will be with me ex-utero soon!
My now 2.5-year-old didn't sleep through the night until he self-weaned at 14 months. I got a lot of disapproval from friends and family because I was not letting him cry it out, and I would nurse him back to sleep. I just couldn't do it any other way. I work outside the home, and I needed time with him just as much as he needed it with me, even if it was during the night and it caused me to stagger about my days in a haze. Even now, when he wakes up from a dream, I slide into bed with him because what is more delicious that waking up to a little boy, curled up to my chest, arms wrapped around my neck? Nothing. And it won't last forever.
I am almost weeping reading your post...almost only because my sweet Penelope is curled close nursing and the warm squishiness of her soothes these almost tears. I have wondered the same thing: How will I ever untangle myself from the womb-like embrace that lulls us both to sleep each night? It feels like a whisper of the shared mother mystery we lived for 9 months, like the co-sleeping is a gentle way of getting used to not being forever connected. Our eldest was born to savor her alone time and seriously couldn't get out of our bed quick enough, so I expected the same with Pen. The peace and joy I feel falling asleep and waking up to six almost seven months of life balled up in skin the color of sticky toffee and the musky summer baby smell like a too sweet melon is too beautiful for any words that I can think of. Lately I have been going to sleep biting my cheek as hard as I can, trying to pretend that I can't feel her growing further and further away from our sweaty spoon hugs at night and gentle eyelid kisses and smiles that reach those storm blue eyes every morning.
My sleep story is more of a no-sleep story.
Ava has been sleeping with me since the night she was born. She is now 2.
When her father left us in the hospital the day after she born the only thing that kept me going was Ava. I never wanted to let her go because she was literally my life. The nurses all yelled at me for letting her sleep in my arms. For some reason it was against hospital policy for babies and mothers to sleep together. WTF? I didn’t listen, she slept with me ever night for the week we were there.
Then when we got home I couldn’t even think of not being close to her. It made nursing much easier and we both slept better cuddled up with each other. Sleeping completely alone at that point would have broken me. Her room was so far away, and what if I didn’t hear her? That was not a chance I was going to take.
I started dating Justin when Ava was 3 months old. We didn’t start having over-nighters for the first couple of months but when we were ready for that I really wanted to have the privacy that we needed to take our relationship to the next level…plainly said we really wanted to jump in the sac. So I started training Ava…but somehow she always knows. The minute I walk past my bedroom door towards her she awakes. What? I thought you were sound asleep but you were secretly counting the number of steps I took so you would know which room we were entering? Kids are too damn smart for their parents’ own good, even at that age. But somehow I managed to get her into her own bed for a couple of hours each night, just long enough for me and Justin to spend some time together…alone. But Ava always wound up right smack dab in the middle of us. Neither of us seemed to care though. I loved sharing a bed with the two loves of my life, and Justin was totally embracing being a family.
Ava did sleep in her own bed for a little while after her 1st birthday. It took a lot of work but we got her there. Now she is back in bed with me and I am lacking in the sleep department more than ever. Cuddling doesn’t happen anymore. Ava loves to sleep with my pillow, loves to sleep on my side of the bed, doesn’t want to be touched or bothered, and rolls around like crazy. It isn’t anything for me to get kicked in the face (several times) in the night because she is tossing and turning, I still love feeling close to her but I’m not partial to black eyes. So we’re back at square one and trying to find a way to get her back into her own bed,…for good this time.
By the way…your post is beautiful and captures so well the exact way I felt when Ava was sleeping with me at that age. Waking up to that sweet smell and baby kisses is one of the best feelings ever. Thank you for taking me back to that place.
My first child, now 3, slept with us for a long time. I somehow became pregnant with my second, now 2, when she was only 3 months old. We had to get her out of our bed before the second one was born, and we did but now without many struggles. It was so hard to get her to sleep on her own that we swore we would never let the second one sleep with us, and we didn't. But you know what, I missed having that closeness. Now that I have another baby, 6 months old, part of me wishes that he slept with us, but my husband insisted that we not "start that again"...
Our daughter age 4.5 sleeps with us on most nights. She hates sleeping alone because we are all she has ever known - we've coslept since day 1. When she is not in our bed she in on her "pallet" - her crib mattress on the floor to the side of our bed. (I knew that it would come in handy at sometime!) It works for everyone involved. Our son, 23 months, still sleeps in bed with us. We are wide open to whatever works so that mommmy, daddy and babies are happy and sleeping. I totally get the smell thing...there's nothing like the smell of my kids when they're asleep. I love their breath and snores and cuddles and warmth. When we get the very, very rare night alone (kids are at grandparents house) I plead for my hubby to stay in bed with me until I fall asleep. It's lonely to be in a king size all by yourself. We love it and have 2 of the happiest kids you'll ever know.
I cannot sleep! I'm 34 weeks pregnant and I cannot find a comfy position that doesn't involve a baby head or knee or elbow sticking into me someplace! ARGH!
We tried the exclusive crib thing with my first daughter, until four months later I was still getting up five times a night and trying to work full-time. Since then, it's been a varying combination of co-sleeping in different locations: starting alone and ending with us in our bed, sleeping in her bed, etc. Now our 2 year old starts in her own bed and migrates into ours sometime in the night, and the two month old has yet to spend a night in her crib! I say if everyone is sleeping, call it good and don't worry!
I don't have children yet, so I'm trying to win this for my sister who is due with her first in November! I do have a dog sleeping story, though, does that count? :) I have two 80 pound boxers and the both used to sleep in bed with my husband and me. It was horrible. I'd wake up in the shape of a pretzel. We'd kick them out but they'd just cry and jump back on when they knew we'd passed out. We got a new mattress in the fall and had to kick them out for good. They give me the stank eye every night now.
I always thought I wouldn't have a baby in my bed. I guess I was raised to believe that having a baby in bed with you is the most terrible thing you can do to a child.
And at first my little boy slept in his own bassinet and then crib because he slept better. Our room was only a few feet away and it wasn't an issue. But then we moved in with my in-laws for a little while. And they didn't let him cry at all during the night so it became easier to let him sleep with us. We liked is the snuggle time was longer and we all felt closer.
When we moved into the house we live in now my son's room went upstairs and ours down. So the now toddler didn't like to be so far away and we were scared of him falling down the stairs so we let him stay more and more. I admit I love it, I cramp up and my neck hurts and sometimes we get hot but he's three now and sleeps all or part of the night in our bed most nights.
The only problem I have now is that we have a new baby on the way (coming in October) and I don't know what I am going to do. Obviously it's time for the big to sleep all night in his room, but I'll miss him. I guess we'll just see.
A
My six month old daughter only just started sleeping the whole night in her crib (which still happens to be in our room, four feet away from the bed). Before that she would sleep half the night in her crib and when she woke up for her feeding we would put her in bed with us.
I LOVED waking up and seeing her face first thing, but I ralized for us it would be better to let her have her own space and us have ours. However I miss it and understand how it would be hard for you to let go of that amazing feeling.
my baby girl is 3 months old. she sleeps in a bassinet in my room. but when she wakes around 4 or 5am and it's still to early to get up i hug her in my arms until we both fall asleep again. it comforts us both back to sleep.
my son on the other hand slept in my bed until he was probably 9 or 10 (he's 15 1/2 now). we were each others binkies and we didn't want to let the other go. but whether we like it or not...our babies do grow up.
I actually don't sleep. Since my first miscarriage in 2004, I haven't slept throught the night. I am always wondering what my baby looked like. Should I have held it before they took it away? I feel disappointed in my lack of strength in that moment. And now I can never have it back.
Now I have a two year old son, London, whom I love dearly. And I never want to miss a moment in his life. Sleep or awake. So I lay there, wondering when he will wake up and we can play together again.
We are thinking of #2. Can I handle it? Will I be able to handle the experience if I should lose another one?
I am not sure. Do I have the strength?
Jenn Avila
At 21 months, we are still co-sleeping. Like you, I can't imagine sleeping without my little guy tucked into the crook of my arm, and neither can he (somewhat unfortunately). He does go down in his own bed at first, for a handful of hours, but he always ends up with us.
At first, it was total self-preservation - he slept in the bassinet by my side of the bed, and I would panic that he wasn't breathing, in my new mom blurriness. One night I fell asleep breastfeeding him, cradling him on the Boppy, and that was the only way I could sleep. And here we are, my sweet boy still sleeping in my arms!
Our 6 month old is finally sleeping in her pack in play in our room. I would have had her co-sleep forever if she hadn't learned to role over and pinch her dad until he woke up.
Oh, this post just makes me feel so squishy inside.
I have a cosleeper. I got it during the last two months of my pregnancy. It sat all made up with teeny sheets and I would imagine my baby there sleeping. I was so excited to fill that little bed up. Once he was born though, I could not bear the thought of him anywhere else but right next to me. We had been one in the same for almost 10 months! He was apart of me, with me always. I felt lonely without him. He has slept in the crook of my arm every night for the entirety of his 6 months on the planet. I keep saying one day I will put him in his crib, one day he will sleep on a mattress next to our bed. One day...but not now.
We have a beautiful bassinet. Hand crafted over 100 years ago it was been in my family for five generations. My sister and I slept in it, my mother and her brothers slumbered there, my grandmother and her mother went to sleep there. Simple and gorgeous, it's delicate white structure has waited patiently beside the bed since I was 6 months pregnant when it was ceremoniously handed down. I have pictured the baby (our first) sleeping peacefully in it time and time again. And then he was born. Then I held him in my arms and never wanted to let go. Then I felt him warm against me. Then I breathed in the sweet smell of him. He fits right against me in bed. In the crook of my arm, the curve of my belly. His gentle breath against my cheek, his slow stirrings at 3am, declaring his hunger. It just feels prefect. He is right where he belongs (despite my grandmother's disappointment).
The antique bassinet makes a gorgeous laundry hamper though.
I think because I'm a first time mom and a bit paranoid, I don't co-sleep with my son. I do, however, look at all cosleeping moms with envy. Everytime I stir at night I lean over and stare at my son laying spread out in his bassinet... and I'll admit here that I have, more than once, shook his bed a little bit to get him to stir so I could hold him for a while. (Been blessed with a sleep-through-the-night baby).
Every weekend is MINE. Every nap is spent rocking in the glider with him on my chest and me looking down at him while trying not to cry and wondering when and if I'll ever stop being so much in love.
My daughter was in her crib at 6 weeks, once she was sleeping for a whole four hour stretch at night. My husband had a hard time sleeping if she was in the bed because he was terrified of rolling onto her. I did love those morning feedings when I'd put her in our bed and nurse til we fell asleep in cuddled bliss. :) Now she's almost two and sleeping 12 hours a night. I'm lucky she's been such a good sleeper.
We don't have the baby yet, so I'll just tell you about the dream I had last night.
I dreamt that I had the baby early, all by myself at home, and it was no more uncomfortable than...well a nice big poop.
Baby was hungry and started ravaging my boobs, while my husband hastily runs out to the store...as we have no diapers or burp rags, or anything we need for the baby. Then the little dear over indulges and vomits milk all over himself and me.
It was sort of a stressful dream, and the boob sucking creeped me out for some reason.
Co-sleeping didn't work for us. The first babe was a noisy, restless sleeper, constantly twitching, murmuring and snuffling. I'm a very light sleeper and every tiny twitch had me awake. She slept in a bassinet beside me for 6 weeks, then I had to move her out of the room for the sake of my sanity.
The second baby was quiet and peaceful and just...smooshy? Lovely to sleep with. But one night when she was less than 2 weeks old I suddenly woke up terrified and couldn't find her. I flung back the blankets and checked the floor and finally I saw one tiny foot sticking out from under her dad's arm. She was belly down, with her face crammed between the mattress and his body, with the entire wieght of his arm on top of her head and back. She wasn't moving at all and for a second I was to terrified to touch her. I just knew that when I turned her over her face would be blue. Then I snapped out of it and grabbed her and she was startled awake. I was so relieved I even forgot to punch Adam in the head as he slept through the whole thing. After that she slept in a Moses basket on the floor beside me.
I do remember staring into her face one day while she napped beside me in the bed and pleading with whatever higher power there might be, to allow me to keep this moment. That vision of her face is now one of my clearest memories of her as a newborn.
We co-sleep even though I swore I would NEVER be one of those parents! I'm a behavior therapist after all and an expert on shaping and conditioning behavior. It works for us. We get criticized and judged by people all the time when they ask how he sleeps at night and it drives me crazy. Now I don't really get into it with people because they don't understand. I used to be one of them before I became a mother and understood what it meant to be head over heels in love with your baby. So much so that when they can't bear to be apart from you you realize that you can't either. And so co sleeping it is for as long as we are down with it.
My older son slept with us itterminently when he was a baby. I have memories waking up to a torrential rain storm on a Sunday morning that caused mudslides that shut the highway. I remember his downy red hair and his amazing smell. Now he is all rough and tumble 5.
My younger son slept with us from the second he came home from the hospital. If he ever went in the crib he cried like it was baby jail. At 3 1/2 we got him a big bed of his own and like that he never slept with us again. I will miss that part of child rearing.
My husband loved to say that co-sleeping doesn't spoil the baby it spoils the Daddy......
Beautiful post!
Sojourner doesn't co-sleep with us, though if we ever have baby number two, I might consider it. Because there is nothing like sleeping right next to my little babe. She and I have a lot of nap times together, and sometimes when she wakes up wayyyyyy to early in the morning for my tastes, I just bring her to bed with me.
There is something so comforting and special about sleeping next to your babe. Maybe it's our heartbeats that comfort one another, or the methodical breathing in and breathing out. It's just so wonderful. Hmmmm. Makes me want to take a nap right now!
I co-slept with my first daughter. I was 17 when I had her, and I just wanted to always be with her. I didn't want to let her go by herself, even while she was sleeping. 7 years later my husband and I had our first daughter together, and I said no to co-sleeping, and she was always a great sleeper. Then, a year and a half later our son came and he was just so darn adorable that I had him sleep with us all the time. At six months I started trying to get him to sleep in his own bed, and now at 15 months, he still wakes up at least once a night to get cuddled.
i love the newborn stage for this very reason .. the slipping in and out of sleep with my babe oh so near. it doesn't last long in our house, but i treasure those nights. i'm looking forward to doing it again in about three months ... thrilled about it actually.
beautiful words, rebecca.
my almost 3 year old aubrey has slept with me from the very first night, as did my 5 year old son, who now sleeps with daddy. (but now, he's fond of sleeping with me since i'm pregnant and he's absolutely in love with rubbing my belly!) oh, the many positions you will find to make sure that the little one is comfortably sleeping next to you.
About 4 mos. ago, I tried to get my daughter to sleep in her converted crib-to-toddler bed, you know, because she said she's a big girl. well, lo and behold, guess who couldn't sleep well? Yeah, me. So, I picked her up, put her back in bed with me, craddling her head, and face-to-face, we slept peacefully. and we're still sleep partners in bedtime crime! just the other night, when i was having a crying spell, she was lying in bed next to me, and said, "mommy, i won't make you sad. i give you a kiss." now, how could ever boot that sweet child out of bed???
I have so many co-sleeping stories that I'd love to share, but time and boredom to others prevents me. So, I will say this, she can't go to bed without me and I can't sleep without her, even when I wake up to feet in my face, on my back, bad dreams, or little hands playing with me hair.
No need to enter me in the competition. My baby is almost 18.. and it tore my heart out when he stopped sleeping in 'the big bed'...funny he still calls my bed that.
thanks for the sweet memories
tracy
I never co-slept with my first thinking that it would lead to years of co-dependency on both of our parts, but the early morning rousing of our second brought him right into bed with us and he fell asleep on daddy's chest for at least a couple more hours. Number 3 is due in about 5 weeks and it is going to be hard to keep his precious little self out of our bed. I always said I would never...and now look at me.
Oh, how I resented the co-sleeping with the first son. The cramped space, the inability to turn without him stirring. But I nurse this new little man in bed with me off to sleep and we are in one loose dream together all night long. Like you, I cannot imagine not sleeping next to him, smelling his part Elmer's Glue, part Honey breath on my face. The problem is, my husband has now been sleeping with son #1 and not with me all these eight months. If it's not time to move the baby to his crib (to which I give a hearty good luck with that! chuckle) it's time to share the bed with his daddy.
My lovely little daughter Sophia and I would co-sleep in the guest room when her father and I were arguing. Last summer, we co- slept often. I think I would even start a fight just so that I could have an excuse to snuggle up to my darling little daughter and inhale her warm sweet scent and be warmed by her little furnace body.
(Josh and I never yell when we argue, we talk things out quietly so as not to disturb the cherub, but sometimes I need space for a night)
Now, Josh and I are in a better place, and I no longer sleep with Sophia... she loves her crib, and she can wriggle into any position desired, along with her blankie and her singing giraffe, Draffie-Poo. But I will admit, sometimes when I can't sleep or a bad dream has taken over in my head and I fear sleep, I will sneak into her room, sit in the glider chair, and watch her sleep. Her little round "O" of a mouth, her small baby hands crushed up under her body, her bum raised high in the air, defying gravity and a normal sleeping position. She is so yummy when she sleeps.
BEAUTIFUL post. I have a very short sleep story - can't. get. enough!!
My sleep story - I have always been able to fall asleep at the drop of a hat, and stay asleep all night. Then, I married an insomniac who stays up all nights, tosses and turns, and likes to wake me to tell me stories in the middle of the night.
Now, I am five months pregnant with our first child. Suddenly, I can't sleep on my back, tossing and turning all night, feeling kicks and pangs every time I roll over. Given that I have to be at work at 7:30 in the morning, it's a serious problem!
We are not planning on co-sleeping once the baby's born, but after reading your post, I may consider it...
I used to co-sleep with my son until he decided he had to sprawl out and nearly kick me out of bed. I miss those times of cuddling up to him. I only get those cuddles when he is sick or upset. Darn our kids for growing up and wanting independence.
Uhm, I would love to be able to fall asleep w/ my sweet baby girl cuddled on my bosom!! But daddy--is a big grizzly bear of a man and is petrified that he will crush her so he doesn't allow it!! :(
I sometimes creep into her room and lay w/ her! I find her sputtered breathes so soothing!!
Having my own space in bed has always been crucial to me, as I am a super light sleeper. What I didn't realize, though, is that it would be that way for my son, too. He's 7 months old now, and right from the beginning he wanted space. When we brought him home from the hospital (after a week in the NICU) he would NOT sleep in our room. Not even a little bit. When we tried his crib in his own room, he calmed right down and slept as well as any newborn's mother could ask for. Enter me sleeping in my son's room for 3 months. Yes, we had an extra twin bed in there, and because I was nursing, I'm moved out of my room and into Camper's. I slept with him like that until we moved, and I moved back in with my husband, John. Camper has always liked his crib, to the point where he doesn't do well napping "out." Carseats and strollers are no substitution for him, that's for sure. One thing that's been kind of nice, lately, though, is that when he wakes up in the morning I bring him in bed with me. He gives me little kisses (this is the name I give it when he tries to eat my face) and cuddles, coos and eats the blankets until he rolls away from me and falls back to sleep. Makes 6am a lot nicer than it used to be.
littlekitegirl@gmail.com
I am 25 years old and I still sleep with my teddy bear. No, that isn't shocking enough. I am 25 years old and MARRIED and I still sleep with my teddy bear. Probably a small pillow could substitute, as I hold it all night, usually underneath me as I sleep on my stomach. But nothing seems to be just the right size, and I really don't sleep as well without it.
My husband understands that I had the teddy bear long before him.
However, I would not be surprised if he uses it for grounds to divorce me eventually.
So the baby doesn't sound too bad to me, compared to an inanimate object your wife cuddles with more than you!
I am six months pregnant with my first child, so I am trying to get as much sleep as I can, because in about three months, I have a suspect no matter where the babe sleeps, I will be sleep deprived! :)
Luckily, the baby is cooperating and not waking me up in the middle of the night kicking. . . yet.
My dad always worked midnights so I coslept with my mom from day one and didnt stop until I was about 12. It didnt seem weird in our house because my mom and I were so close and sleeping in a huge bed with the comfort of your mom right there if you need her is quite wonderful. I used to be scared of storms and she would do the rain cuddle with me. (hold me tight until the thunder went away) When I have kids Im letting them sleep with me. I dont care.
Rebecca - Fable is absoultely beautiful. Don't tell my daughter, but she may be the most beautiful baby ever. When my daughter (now 8) was a baby, she'd often wake up in the middle of the night. Instead of hanging out in her room, trying to get her back to sleep, while neglecting my own, I'd take her to bed with me. We'd lay in my bed (twin size at the time), me on my back, her on her stomach on my chest. The weight of her tiny body on mine, the way one hand would curl around my shirt and the other would either wrap itself around hair or lay on my cheek was an instant sleeping pill. It was hard when she got older and that position wasn't as comfortable.
Sleep may be my greatest and longest lasting love!!
I also enjoy my bed more with my little daughter in it. She's 8 weeks old now and she's taken to sleeping half the night in the bassinet. When I pick up her body heavy with sleep for a night time feed, she stays snuggled up to me, sleeping until I wake up. I'll be sad when we move her out of our room. Hopefully not for a few more months at least.
i tried to co-sleep with my son (who we adopted at 14 months) but he was too noisy and kept my light-sleeper husband awake. so he slept in his room from the get-go. now with my daughter (2 months, also being adopted), because she has reflux and is more fussy, she sleeps in a swing (that swings all night long) in our bedroom. people laugh or shake their heads about that, but sleep deprivation does crazy things to your standards. we're just happy she's sleeping, cause that means we're sleeping.
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