Deciding on a name for one's unborn child is one of the more important decisions an expectant parent can make. Okay, maybe even the most important decision. I can't be sure.
I like to think that by naming our children we are preparing for them their life stories. A name is a first impression after all, a sort of predetermined identity.
Archer was a total slam-dunk for us. Hal and I were in agreement almost immediately and probably within the first few weeks of my finding out I was pregnant. Archer was unique and strong and masculine, timeless, even graceful. Archer's middle name, Sage (as in wisdom not the herb) came later. Our girl names were a lot tiny bit more complicated. We battled over first names (finally deciding on Colette) and then battled over middle names (finally deciding on Reverie) but it took many an argument before we got there. Fists shook in frustration. Baby books were thrown from car windows, etc.
This time around has been much the same way. Mainly because we are so fond of the name Archer and would like to choose an equally as compelling name for number two. Something with a little story. Hal's fickle heart changes daily and the name we agreed on last week (for a boy) has now been boycotted (ha!) for sounding "too old."
"Not too old! Timeless!" I said.
"Bec! Come on... It's an old man's name."
"You're an old man's name!"
"Look. It's 3am. We have six-months to decide. Can't we just..."
"No! We're going to figure this out NOW! Ahhhh!!!!"
Our girl name is in stone, of course. We're both in love with it much like we were with Archer-a sure sign, I thought, we'd be having a girl, but after our ultrasound seemed like "maybe it's a boy" I've since doubted my pre-ultrasound It's-A-Girl! instincts. (We'll find out the sex fo sho in about a month.)
In the meantime, I'll likely be throwing a thousand-zillion names at Hal, only for each and every one of them to be greeted with eye-rolls, rejected for being too "old," "weird" or "what the fuck? Are you high, woman?"
I can assure you, I'm not high. I just take this whole name-thing VERY seriously. I mean, don't we all? It's a name! A NAME!
How long did it take you and your significant other to decide on names for your babes and/or if you're currently preg, how's the great name debate coming along? Who's winning?
Please come join me at the psycho-name-obsessed-pregnant-lady table and let's discuss. Don't be shy.
GGC
*Reminder for my San Diego area peeps, I'll be reading/signing Rockabye at the Borders in Carlsbad at 7pm, tonight (Wednesday, April 9th). Catch you on the flip...
*Reminder for my San Diego area peeps, I'll be reading/signing Rockabye at the Borders in Carlsbad at 7pm, tonight (Wednesday, April 9th). Catch you on the flip...
103 comments:
Ha. Over dinner I was just telling my boy, and second born, how he did not have a name for three days after he was born because we could not decide. The second one is so hard, because the first one fits so well... I guess that does not help you to rest at three AM.
With both kids, we had a dry erase board where we could write our name ideas, and cross out any that we didn't like. We chose our first son's name the night before he was born. Our second son was harder to name, but we decided sooner (I know that sounds contradictory). My husband refused to name our second son anything that started with B (because #1's name starts with B) so that made it especially difficult for me.
It pretty much took us the whole nine (ten) months to come up with names we both liked. Actually I had to come up with all the names. My husband just gave me the yay or nay. Our son's middle name was decided about 8 hours before I was scheduled to be at the hospital for my c-section. Not a big deal to some, but to me we might as well have waited until he was in high school to name him. I wanted to have a few months to get used to the name before the babies were born. But I LOVED the process. It is so much fun to pick names. I'd love to market myself as a baby-namer. That would be the best job!
Ours was a piece of cake. My grandmother died two weeks after I found out we were pregnant, and we said that if it was a girl we would name her Ella (my maternal grandmother's name) with Rose for a middle name (my husband's mother's name is Rosetta.)
It was a boy. We wanted a congruent boy name, sort of, so we named him Maxwell (after my paternal grandfather) with Leo for a middle name (my husband's father's name is Leo.)
If there's another one, we'll stick with Ella Rose for a girl. I don't know what to do about a boy's name. We really can't seem to make a decision.
"You're an old man's name!"
Hahahaha! This is exactly how our arguments go. Quickly followed by the winning move: "So's your face."
There's no come-back for "So's your face." It's like getting to say "I seven the sand-box". You just win.
Names. Erin's name was Cadence or Arden before she was born. When we saw her it was just obvious that her name was Erin. But when we were starting out we quickly put Catherine/Katherine in the closet because we were each willing to collect on the insurance money on each other over our preference. I love Catherine; she loved Katherine; and neither of us could be budged.
"Catherine is regal."
"Katherine can be Katie."
"Catherine can't be Katie."
"Katherine isn't a real name."
"You're not a real name."
"You're worth more dead than alive."
"So's your face."
Erin it was.
Crap. I was reading this thinking "I won't comment. I won't comment." But I got sucked in. Why do mothers love to talk about how they named their child(ren) sigh?
We named both our boys the same way. First name after grandfather, second name original. They both go by their middle name.
I love that we did it this way. Timeless heritage and their own identity.
Joseph "Grant"
&
James "Cannon"
Have fun!
Oh- and we agreed immediately on both names for boys, but never loved or agreed on a girl name...
We had three names ready to go. (jonah erick, andrew tull, or eliot aubre) I thought we would know which was the right one the instant we saw him. Only we didn't. Finally, a day later, with much discussion, we named him eliot aubre.
It took us about 15 minutes to come up with our son's name. We were scraping and painting the front of our house while we discussed. I said, I want super special family name for the middle name. Bob said, well I want a family name too. I said, lay 'em on me. He said, well there's Louis, Thomas, Charles, and Henry. I said the only one I would consider of those was Henry, and in fact I liked Henry very much. The decision was made. It wasn't until after he was born I started reading parenting blogs and realized the name was au currant.
You know what's funny, I have always wanted to name my (potential) daughter Rebecca. I've just always loved the name and I have nothing but good connections with it... every Rebecca/ Rebekah/ Beka/ Becky I've ever met has been cool. I am also obsessed with naming my (potential) son Dylan... for Bob Dylan and Dylan Thomas... and I like the name a lot. Of course, it's much easier to speculate when you're not naming an actual kid, or for that matter, taking your partner's preferences into account :).
I can totally see how it would be a challenge to name the second kid of the same sex... everyone has that one perfect boy/girl name picked out but no one can think of TWO.
We had same second name problem. I was SURE it was a boy anyway, and second boys name is Sam Henry. End of Story.
And then she was born. NO GIRL NAMES we could decide on. And COME ON.. Michela is ADORABLE. Isabella is ADORABLE. Sarah is plain and tall... are you KIDDING ME?
As a mom of a Sarah second child... I say, do what you want. Really, you're giving birth, there's no other time like now to get what you want. SERIOUS.
We wanted to name "after" a relative - which meant using initials. So, I looked for first and middle names with the initials of our names or our parents' names. I pulled together a great big list of "combos" that I could live with. Then, I let hubby have veto power.
We narrowed it down to three girl names and three boy names, with front runners for each. If it was a girl, it would have hubby's parents' initials. If it was a boy, it would have my parents' initials.
It was a girl -> Kendall Grace [after Karen and Gerald].
Our boy name is still on the table for #2 - and we've added another one with the same initials that we like, also.
The girl name option for #2 is MUCH harder. I have one or two that would be okay, but nothing I LOVE yet.
Want a list of suggestions? Nevermind, I'll email it to you anyway ...
Good luck!!
Our baby is coming in about 7 weeks and we still don't have a name. Yeah, we're screwed.
We left the hospital days after my c-section and we still were up in the air on the decision. It's not easy.
My oldest daughter is named after a computer program! No joke! My husband came home soon after I found out I was having a girl, and said, "I just started using 'Mya', wouldn't that be a cool name?" I thought that it would indeed! We actually had talked about naming her Mallory before that, so when I found out that I was having another girl two years later, Mallory it was. Even though we really didn't want to name them both "M" names. I just loved both names so much, and we wanted to use them. We actually thought that Mallory would be a boy, so I had Aidan James picked out. That pregnancy was just so DIFFERENT from the first that I was convinced she was a boy. I will have to say that they are still polar opposites, though. If the pregnancies were any indication.
What were we talking aobut? :-) Good luck!
I had so many great names picked out for our girl: Willa, Milla, Mia, Pia, Paz, Poet, Audrey, blah blah blah. My husband would have none of it and the frustrating thing is he had nothing to suggest himself.
Until one night he finally spat out a name like a fortune teller- Zoey. And I loved it. So there you go. Zoey. Dimon is her middle name because it's a name carried through my family.
And it is just so right for her.
Good luck!
oooo, i love the baby name thing.
no kids yet, but for a few kind of obscure reasons i'm really set on having three girls. watch, i'll end up getting three boys. anyway, we've already decided that the kids will have my last name (various reasons for this), but i want DP's first name (brian) in there to honour him as well.
i adore all three of my girl names and DP loves them too so yay:
carys seren brianna
maya soleil brianne
maeve anaya briannon
carys=welsh for beloved seren=welsh for star
maya=hindi for dream or illusion and latin for great
soleil (so-lay)=french for sun/sunny
maeve=irish gaelic for intoxicating
anaya=sanskrit for completely free
the one boy name i love:
keiran arthur briant
keiran=irish gaelic for dark one
arthur=after my granddad, celtic for bear
originality without being way too out there and sound are my most imporant factors, followed very closesly by origin and meaning.
i also love the name abigail (abbey) elizabeth but i'd never use it, way too common.
i would consider jesse and braeden as boy's names.
reverie is gorgeous, love that.
i also like saydie for a girl.
boys names for you though. so your criteria from what i can assume from your post:
-has to sound good with archer
-has to be unique and cool like archer's name
-has to have a cool story/hold some meaning
so i obviously can't help you with criterion number three, but as for boy names that sound good with archer and are unique and kind of funky without being really trendy or kitschy:
jasper
rhys (reece)
caelan/caeden
cody (this is actually my brother's name but i love it)
what about some literary names:
rosencrantz and guildenstern? lol
kipling?
shaker? (shakespeare)
benvolio?
dante is kind of cool
obviously joking on most of those. ;)
oh, i know! what about fencer! to go with archer...get it? ok that was bad, i'm going now.
i do love archer's name, for the record. :P
My husband devised some crazy spreadsheet that we ranked our favorite names and let excel do it's thing analyzing them. It was very crazy and I still have it. That was number 2. Number one was duked out in a hotel room in Singapore while my husband was on deployment (he missed the birth on that one too.)
oh by the way, my littlest bro (dylan) wasn't named for a full 30 days after he was born. parents got a letter from the government and everything. so don't feel bad if it takes a while.
in actuality i don't think i could be 100% definite on a child's name until their born.
We have nothing. My husband brings it up every other day with some ridiculous name that I try not to get peeved about and then he says our kid will never have a name and then we end up fighting about how he could actually like that name and what it says about him as a person.
Good times. Damn preggo hormones.
Haha! I can totally relate! With my first pregnancy, we came up with names for both a girl and boy by the end of my 5th week although Lochlan's middle name came later.
This time around, I had wanted a K____ Brooks for either a boy or a girl because I'm a K. Brooks and my grandpa was a K. Brooks as well. (Brooks is an old family name passed on from generation to generation-I'm the 7th, I believe.) But the K names were driving me CRAZY. Too common, too weird, sound endings the same as Lochlan's which we don't want, etc. So I gave up and decided to just use the girl name we picked last time: Maeva and middle name: Brooks. Maeva Brooks is set in stone. We haven't even begun to look at possible boy names. Ugh.
Looking forward to see what names you picked out! Will you announce it before the birth or after? I want to claim on my name choices ASAP so I gotta get busy with the boy's name. =P
Seeing as my oldest was courtesy of first husband: We fought on all names for him, we knew he was a boy early on. I wanted Lucas, he wanted to name him after Johnny Hickman of Cracker. errr no.
I came up with Charles one day, turns out it was his deceased grandfather's name(didn't know this). So that was that. Call him Charlie. Totally fits him too. I love it.
My daughter was a slamdunk. Her dad(2nd and final husband)went into such shock upon finding out I was pregnant he didn't talk for almost 24 hrs. First words out of his mouth to me were " Esme. If the baby is a girl that's what I want to name her". He fell in love with the name while in college after reading a J.D. Salinger short story titled " To Esme, with Love and Squalor".
Esme Louise is her name. Six months after she was born, actress Katey Sagal of Married with Children gave her daughter the SAME name! We found that odd and annoying. It's ours damnit.
And seeing as daddy is all french genes, her name fits her perfectly.
Not planning on anymore so I quit there.
We knew the middle name would be Lee after my hubby's father (and hubby's middle name) and we "thought" we had the first name picked out - oh a million times. Then one day my husband came home and said "How about Greyson?" at first I said "Uh... NO!" but then a couple days later, I decided that I loved it and it was perfect and right and fit the little kicking peanut in my belly and so Greyson Lee it is.
Don't stress too much, you'll know it when you hear it. It will sound great with Archer (awesome name) and it will just fit.
My hubby and I made the decision that if it was a boy, he would choose the name; if it was a girl, I would choose the name. Strangely enough, this worked out well for us. My hubby didn't actually have a finalized name until we had to fill out the form at the hospital when we took our son home! Go figure... once a procrastinator, always a procrastinator. But it turned out that we both love the name. Phew!
Our son is named after his grandfather who passed away when my husband was a kid. We had a girls name picked out and agreed upon and it stayed the same for a good decade. Recently I've decided I don't care for it anymore, though. I had a dream about a name that I had never considered before, and it just happens that we both kinda like it, so perhaps it's on the table for the next kiddo should that be a girl. It's *really* hard for us to agree on names!
Oh, I love baby naming. I spent hours pondering our children's names. When I was pregnant for the first time (with twins) we chose not to find out the sex. We went to the hospital with two boy names and two girls names. I was adamant that the names be something out of the ordinary and easy to spell. We came home with two girls, Macy Sejal and Avery Jayne.
My second pregnancy (just one this time) we already had a two boy names left over from last time and went to the hospital with nothing, nada for a girl. Thankfully we came home withe a little boy named Anders David.
Good luck. It is a HUGE decision.
When we had the girl we agreed on the girls name straight away. We argued over the boy's name. Eventually we figured it out but I was still wishy-washy about it.
When we had a boy the name was in my thoughts from day one. The girls' name never really came. ... Luckily the boy was an exhibitionist and showed his parts right away. (I did have to convince my husband a little on the boy's name, though.
** (I gave him the right of refusal both time, but since he got the last name the first name was mine.)
When we found out we were having a boy, I sat down with my husbands ipod and started rattling off names. My husband is a musician, and has a LOT of artists on his ipod. I came across Elliott Smith and asked "What do you think about Elliott?" My husband loved it, I loved it...so my little man was Elliott from the beginning. His middle name is Carl and that's after the best man in our wedding.
hahaha...ahhh the memories. We battled about it for nine months...It didn't help any that we didn't know whether we were having a boy or a girl until the moment she was born either, although we were pretty certain we were having a girl. Everyone tried oh so hard to help us out-throwing boy names at us nonstop-even in the labor/delivery room. Mr and I just weren't sure...we could not agree on a thing...and then we met our baby...and her name just came to us. It was not one we had ever heard before or ever considered but there she was looking back at us and we just knew it was her name. Now I couldn't even imagine how people come up with names before they actually meet lol
It took us forever. We didn't have a name until a few weeks before he was born, and finally decided on his middle name once he was here.
My daughter's name was a given before we even got pregnant. We had decided on hers and both loved it. But for some reason we could not agree on a boy name the second time around. He had his faves and I had mine and they were all very different from each other.
Then one day I heard the name I wanted, called him and he agree that very second over the phone. We were spreading the word minutes later. Just like that we had found one we both adored. And I only know of one other with the same name, which I love.
This is fantastic! I love hearing baby-naming stories, especially because we ALL struggle, don't we. I'll likely share the name(s) we choose with personal friends but I'll wait until the baby's born to share with the interwebs... Gotta keep things mysterious up in these parts and anyway, it will probably take until the baby's born before we arrive on a decision. Hmph.
My first was easy since I gave my then-fiance (now husband) no choice in the matter. He was in Korea, and he was only home one day before she was born. I chose Rosalie for Roslin in Romeo&Juliet, and Alexis because the name WOULD NOT leave me alone, it was in books, songs, radio announcements, the newspaper, it was calling to me. If she'd been a boy she'd have been Jordan Elliot.
With #2 it was tougher because we had to actually agree. I wanted to name him after my cousin who passed away, Matthew, but knew it'd be hard on my family, so that went straight to a middle name. Unfortunately DH kept picking first names that didn't jive with Matthew, and he hit on Aaron. That's my cousin with autism's name and when I told my grandmother she told me it was a curse. We named him Aaron Matthew anyhow, and it is NOT a curse! If he'd been a girl (easy decision here) he'd have been Allison Renee.
We didn't know what we were having, just like this time around. When the doc said, "It's a boy!" We were so freaking surprised and happy! It's the best surprise in life...to not find out, to not know, to guess and guess again. Try it! Anyway, I've always felt you have to meet the little person first, then the name will naturally follow. Congrats on the book by the way!
One of my favorite poets is Lucille Clifton and we love the meaning behind it. Lucy is truly our light. Her middle name -- Mae -- is after my beloved, departed grandmother's middle name. We didn't know the sex until birth and Lucy was born early and on great grandmother's birthday; the name felt perfect!
The boy name was a bit more difficult because my mom thought Henry was old sounding and, frankly, it became too popular as the months passed.
I love the name Archer -- I'm sure you'll end up with an equally awesome name.
P.S. I'm starting the book as soon as Powell's gets it to me -- I'll see you PDX!
My husband is Italian and EVERYONE is named with initials M.M. even the wives! So, a phone call from his parents with limited English was his dad saying, Jennifer, M. of course it sounded all Italian: Emme... I had no choice but to come up with an M name and we did! We have a darling little Maraia (pronounced Mariah) It's very appropriately a brand of Chianti (how she was conceivd in the 1st place) and also a princess in an Italian fairytale. We call her Mari. It sounds so beautiful with my husband's accent.
I luckily didn't have so many options - we made a list of boy names that would sound ok both in Estonian and English and from those we liked about 3 so picking two wasn't difficult :)
I had my girl name picked out years before I ever got pregnant. The boy name was a little harder. We were going to give him my father-in-law's name (which he never used - he always went by his initials) with my maiden name as the middle name. Mid-pregnancy, we were still back and forth on the first name, and decided to change it slightly - from Carson to Nathan. It was a good thing, because my FIL was kind of an ass. He just had a cool name. And I'm REALLY glad I had a boy, because the girl name I'd chosen years ago, after my mother and grandmother, has turned out to be one of those names you now hear EVERYWHERE! Both the first and middle names - often used as a double name. I can't get away from it! So my boy was a double blessing.
I had to suggest "Ben" to my husband three times before he finally okayed it. But I really wanted Finn because I'm the last of my family line to be 100 percent Finnish. -- I had "Somerset" picked out for a girl already, and huz was on board. But shortly after I saw the squirmy little ant on the ultrasound screen at 10 wks, I had a dream/vision/spooky voice from beyond/whatever and I knew that I was having a girl and her name was Anna. That wasn't even a name I had considered because I thought it was boring. Far be it for me to deny the fates, so we have Ben and Anna, and we can call them BenAnna together, and we love bananas, so it's really perfect. How's that for convoluted baby naming?
I'm totally name-obssessed, even when not pregnant. With Pumpkinpie, I came to the table with five names for a girl I loved, would have been thrilled with any one - all vetoed. So we spent about three months going through books, writing down anything acceptable, crossing off each other's lists, and discovering that we were looking for kind of different things in a name, which is not a good base for common ground! But we got there, in the end.
So this time, I've started with the lists from the get-go, although I do have another list of top contenders. I have my ultrasound next Friday where they should be able to tell us the sex, so Misterpie is waiting until after that to get started, since he puts his eggs in the one basket, mostly, and concentrates on that, while I think you need both in case of a surprise.
Me, I think a name needs to be a little uncommon, to have a little individuality and flair, but not be too batshit crazy, either. Misterpie would be happy with an old standby, but the last name our kids get is pretty boring and common and pizzazz-free, so I push it a bit. We'll get there again, I suppose, but I'm not looking forward to another three-month-long angst-filled road, I'll tell you that!
For a boy we knew right away and both first and middle are "old men" names. Mainly because he was named after old men. (My husband's father and my grandfather) Both men were born in 1917 and thus the names were popular then and a bit old fashioned but I love them both.
As far as a girl's name it is lucky that we had a boy because if we'd had a girl she might have gone home nameless. We simply couldn't decided. If and when there is a second and it is a girl I would like to continue the tradition of family and old fashioned names with my great-grandmother's name, Ruby. My husband isn't sold on that but I figure we'll cross that bridge if we ever get to it.
Before my husband and I were even officially engaged, we had a (premature and) strange conversation in which we "agreed" upon 4 (yes, FOUR) boy names that we both loved, and we even agreed upon the order in which we'd use them: the first would always be Isaac, and we'd call him Ike. Thereafter, when we talked about having kids, we would just say "Ike better never act like that" or some such. Fast forward 4 years, we're married but not pregnant and I'm walking down the stairs one day when a voice (yep, she's hearing voices) says "Bennett would be a GREAT name for a girl." Did I think to myself "Hmmm, I'm hearing voices, probably ought to call a shrink?" Um, no. I thought to myself "That is SO COOL." My mother, Betty, had just died and I knew I wanted to honor her in some way if I ever had a girl, but I thought that "Betty Marie" was a little old-fashioned. Fast forward another year, we're pregnant, and the u/s says we're having a girl. I tried like crazy to call that in utero kid "Bennett" but I never could bring myself to do it. I'd said "Ike" about all future kids for too long, I guess. Fast forward to my last doctor appointment in March 2002, when the doctor said "You're doing great; baby looks to be about 8 pounds, and oh, yeah, you're in early labor." Went home, got all our stuff together, including all of the girly stuff, went to the hospital and had an almost-10-pound boy. So there's Ike after all. Three years later, the u/s said we were having another boy. I decided those people just like to mess with you (easier than believing that in two different cities, we'd found incompetent u/s techs!) and insisted I wasn't sure I believed them. One day, during the nesting phase, I realized I had moved a bunch of keepsake girly things to one side unconsciously and I realized "I'm saving those for my daughter." Four days later, Bennett Marie made her appearance. Best (weirdest?) thing: her big brother, who never got to know his Nana B, calls her "Betty" as a pet name.
Just realized all I did was ramble on about one of my favorite subjects: the kids and how they arrived in this world. Sorry, I probably wasn't much help to you trying to name yours (unless you happen to hear voices, too?)
With Gabe, I was about 5 months pregnant and we'd just that week watched The Patriot with Mel Gibson. Later we were at a bonfire party and somehow that movie came up and we were talking about it with some friends. One of them commented on Heath Ledger's (sniff sniff) character Gabriel and a lightbulb went off in my head. I turned to my husband and suggested it as the name of our child if it was a boy (because we didn't find out the sex with either baby) and he poo-poohed it because he was so sick of the entire subject by then. A couple hours later, he came up behind me and put his hands on my belly through my fleece jacket and said he liked Gabriel. And so it was set.
That same pregnancy we agreed on Allison to be the name if it was a girl. I was wracking my brain in traffic for something simple, feminine, fairly common but not overused and Allison popped into my head. I made a mental note to mention it, and then the next morning, a lazy Saturday spent lounging in bed, Mike turned to me and suggested it before I could. So that was to be our girl's name.
When we had Gabe, we decided to keep Allison in reserve for the next one, and when I found out I was pregnant again, we both assumed if it was a girl she'd be Allison. We hemmed and hawed over a boy's name, finally settling on Benjamin (I guess we like the simple classic names that shorten down to one sylable nicknames) if it was another boy.
About a month before baby 2 was born, Mike suggested to me that he liked Anna, but he didn't know how well it went with the middle name we'd chosen (Rose, my maiden name). We mulled it over for a few days and I went back and said I liked Anna better. He still wasn't sure. It wasn't until after she was born that we discussed it in the delivery room and I finally said decisively that I wanted Anna Rose. He was still a little unsure of it, but his mother (in the room throughout the birth, awesome woman that she is) chimed in and said it was a pretty name, went well together, had meaning to me since it was my maiden name, and that Mike's reservations were just because he was overwhelmed. So he agreed, and the more people we told the name, hospital staff and friends and relatives, the more we were complimented on how well it flows and how pretty it is, so it grew on him pretty quickly. Which is a good thing because it's inked on her birth certificate.
Apparently you hit on a big topic for me, because this is a HUGE comment. Sorry for hijacking.
We had the same issue. First child. We both agrees only on one name, but a good one, Amelia. Second child, we could not agree even once he was born. Ended up with James...a fine name, but no poetry. That's okay, he makes his own now.
So, like everyone else I had to chime in on the name thing. I have one son and we were determined to use at least one family name. He ended up Cloud Atticus...Cloud is my mom-in-law's maiden name and Atticus is for the literary reference. Being that both my husband and I are both from the deep south and he's a recent law grad, it just seemed to fit. I do think Cloud has alot to live up to though. He has to be in a band at some point in his life and be socially responsible...can he be in a socially responsible band?
Also, when we have a second child we have set ourselves up for needing an equally cool name. We've got the girl covered - Zimmie Cunningham (both family names) but the boy will be work. We can't just use the name Jack or Fred now.
We did the exact thing we swore we would NEVER do, which was have our kids go by a name that wasn't their first name-- I actually go by my middle name, and have since birth. Kindofa pain, especially in the first day of school every year.
But when we discovered the names we wanted for the kids, it just kind of happened. The name we call Noise is made from the first two letters of his first name (his dad's name) and the first two letters of his middle name (my grandfather.) Funk goes by a nickname of her middle name, which is my mom's middle name.
Hubs is a huge one for giving kids family names, and with a whole lot of Beaulahs, Vernelias, and Edwards in our family, we just didn't have that many nice options.
We literally could not agree until just days before we had each of our three sons... and to make matters worse, we didn't know what we were having each time, so that meant agreeing on both a boy and a girl name. WHICH WAS DAMN NEAR IMPOSSIBLE.
Good luck with that!
gustave was gus the moment i saw that little penis in me...it was a no brainer for us. talk about an old mans name-gus. the next will be wolfgang francois for boy and francois or brigitta dori for a girl. naming baby is the best!
Names ARE sooo important! We had names picked out the very night we found out we were preg with our first. Same with the second. Although with the first one - we were desperately searching for a replacement middle name at 8 1/2 months along because my husband found out that my mother thought it was cute the initials would be DVD!! Ugh! :)
Ohhh man, you just described the last month of my life! My husband is against anything with a Y in it (he says it resembles the hayden brayden jayden ayden cayden group of names that are taking over the universe)... And if I bring up a name I absolutely LOVE, he just happens to know someone with the same name who is 'a complete douche'. Impossible!
I was so worried about this that I made my husband pick names out with me before I ever got pregnant. We wanted two children so we picked out 2 for each gender, and we actually stuck to it. We ended up with one of each so I have Katherine Deanna and Max Grady left if you want them. I'm pretty sure my husband only agreed to Grady because is was a family name, in the middle, and he didn't think we would have two boys. He said we might as well name him Elmer because is was just as old fashioned.
I agree the name thing is HUGE - I always think about their first job interview -
But unsolicited advice? DONT FIND OUT THE SEX!!! It is the BEST surprise in the world - you did it with Archer, now try it the other way. The anticipation is so sweet!!
My 1st child, I was 19 and alone. While having a baby so young and so single is scary, the naming wasn't. I had no one to argue with me. If I wanted to name the kid "Jack Ass Bungholio" I could. Needless to say, he wasn't named Jack Ass. But he was named what I (and only I) saw fit for him. Easy-peasy!
The 2nd, well, I wasn't so young nor so alone. I have a great partner and believe it or not, he wanted to stick around :) We KNEW we were having a boy. His gut and mine said: BOYBOYBOY!!! But because God has a twisted sense of humor, our baby did not have a penis. And since seeing the penisless ultrasound, it took over 7 months to agree on a name. He liked more modern names (I think he even made a few up) and I liked traditional (AKA Old Lady) names.
It wasn't until watching the news, an American actress came on that it hit us. BAM! Her name was perfect! I gave it a weekend to roll around in my head and it stuck. And it fits her PERFECT!
Your name will come to you. Just like Archer Sage ... it will fit your child. It will give them strength and confidence. And it will end with a healthy, well-named child.
Good luck!
We're expecting kid #1 on august 1 (or there abouts). We started talking about names almost as soon as we got the positive preggy test. A boy's name came to us right away. Girls names were much harder. After weeks of debate, we finally settled on one, only to go to our ultrasound and discover that it's "a very proud boy" (the doctor's words, not ours). Guess we didn't need all that debate over the girl name. But we love it so much, we're holding onto it in case a future kid is a girl :-)
Oh, Jesus. Names were a nightmare. It took us about 8 months to settle on a name.
Rob and I had a boy's name picked out before we knew each other. It was one of those weird things we had in common: "I've always wanted to name my son..." "Hey, me too!" Of course, the closer it got to the probably-a-boy baby being outside my body, the more the name we'd both loved sounded wrong. Westley is named Westley for a number of reasons, but one of them is 'The Princess Bride.' We both can't help loving it. And we didn't know anyone named Westley. (I wanted to name him Jasper, but apparently, that's an old man's name. Specifically, an old black man's name. I don't know where my husband got this idea.)
Girls' names were a cinch. We rolled a few of them around for a couple of weeks after we found out that I was pregnant, and came up with one we really like. If our next baby is a girl, we've got her name all set. If it's a boy...we're kind of screwed.
Also, just finished Rockabye. Wonderful. Amazing. Thank you.
We had a girls name picked out since we got married but 2 years later when we actually got pregnant, a boys name was still up in the air. Five months of lists and all out fights finally one day while reading one of our favorite web comics I said to my DH "What about Ethan?" and we'd never heard it before except for there and we loved it. Didn't know it would be quite so popular for his birth year but we love it anyway.
My four children were not to difficult to name, but their middle names were decided by a coin toss in the delivery room.
Sounds strange but it worked. We also struggled to give the children names that could not be made fun of. My boys are names Tom(after my favorite uncle) and Hudson (after my husbands Grandfather). I think that when you get THE RIGHT name you will both agree on it.
Good luck with the naming saga.
While our child naming efforts began with a book of names (and the names totally suite them), friends of ours creatively named their son Maclen since mom is huge fan of John Lennon & Paul McCartney. I thought that was very cool and just wanted to share.
We knew that Catcher would be named Catcher three months in and it stuck. There was never any doubt. We never told anyone because well you know...everyone would say Catcher? WTF kind of name is that? Second time around we had TONS of boy names cause we thought there was no way it was a girl. We knew if we had a girl we would name her after our gma's (mine raised me and passed away after a long ass battle with the cancer of the pancreas). Her name was Louisa however we couldn't really follow Catcher w/ that so we went balls out for Louisiana. We love the state. We love Jeff Buckley. And we love bourbon. Seemed to fit.
Although Lou could have been Harlow (she was born b4 Nicole Richie's girl). Thank god we skipped that one...
I've been thinking seriously about baby names for about five years. FIVE YEARS! That's longer than I've even known my S.O...
You'd think all that time to ponder would make the process easier, but no. Now instead of a Top 20, I have a Top 200. When the time comes, I'll probably just have to close my eyes and point because man, that's a lot of pressure and way too many choices.
Our daughter's name is Paige Ellen.
Paige came from a Potterybarn catologe and Ellen from my husbands mother's middle name(i was trying to get brownie points.
My husband and I are living right where you both are right now...nothing FITS...and he, very much like Hal, is content to ride out the time until October creeps closer but I am having none of it. So far for a girl, Harlow....for a boy, oh let the battle commence...Good luck and I follow your progress with bated breath!
i actually had my names on a list from, oh, about, junior high. i had about 30 girl names and 15 boy names. then, i started to get more serious about them as i got older and came up with 2 girl names i was set on. then, i married my husband and he agreed on the girl names, but vetoed most of the boy names.
i've named each of my kids a family name and one we just liked. we didn't find out gender on any of them, so when we were pregnant with twins the first go 'round, we had to come up with 2 boy names and 2 girl names. oy.
the first 2 were girls and we both agreed that the first one was gracie scout and the second was slater jillianne. our first boy name was finnegan justice and we stuck with it 4 years later when the boy came. now pregnant with number 4 and have a girl name - molly jamison, but kinda stuck on a boy name. the others we liked before just haven't stuck (asher & baxter,) but i love jasper clayton.
we shall see. i have 19 weeks to figure it out and it might not matter since it could be another girl.
Naming our first child was tough. We had decided on a girl name fairly quickly, but we couldn't agree on boy names. My husband wanted LEOPOLD. While I had no objection to Leo as that was my grandfather's name, I had 1000 objections to Leopold. My husband felt that it was strong and that with a name like that, he would kick ass on the playground. I told my husband that he would be the one's whose ass would be kicked.
It was a great day when we found out we were having a girl. We named her Eleanor (Ella for short.) The second child was much easier. By then, I had stored a few boy names in my brain that were strong like Henry. Again, it was another girl. We named her Genevieve ( Genna for short). She is named after my mother and great grandmother.
Their middle names are my maiden name--two less arguments.
Colette Reverie is lovely in English, but why French names? I'm curious.
We didn't find out ahead of time whether our baby was a boy or a girl, though I was convinced it would be a boy. When our daughter arrived, we were in luck, because we had several girl names we both agreed on, and we just picked the one that seemed to suit her best. I had really liked Owen, Evan, or Daniel for a boy, but my husband hated all of those and yet never came up with his own picks. Meanwhile the likelihood of my ever getting pregnant again is pretty small, but if by some miracle I ever did, and I had a boy, I would seriously consider stealing the name Archer! I had never heard it before I started reading your blog and I love it. Distinctive but not kooky, like some of the boy names floating around out there...
Ha -- go check out the below link to the "Laid Off Dad" blog. Apparently the Vlasic Pickle company is having a contest. If you give your child the middle name "Crunch" there could be some cash in it for you...
http://laidoffdad.typepad.com/lod/2008/04/not-particularl.html
Love you thoughts on naming. I too feel the exact same way about somehow predetermining some of your childs life. We have two girls, and being from the south, we wanted family names, one from each side. The eldest is Sadie Parker, who is three (and that is what we call her) and the seccond is Ruby Ellison, and goes by Ruby, and she is 9 weeks.
And I know this is random, but your blog inspired me to start my own. It took Sadie Parker asking me almost daily to see Archer on the computer. I think she has a little crush. So if you are ever down in the south east a play "date" would be so exciting for her. I digress, thanks for the balls to be who you are and for the courage to let us know who that is. You have given me inspiration in myself.
Emily
this is our third baby, the first two lost to miscarriage. so we've gone thru three sets of names.
we were only set this time on girl names, and lo and behold...our ultrasound found a labia.
so we dodged the fighting over boy names. ah, parental bliss.
We agreed on Grace for our daughter's first name almost immediately. Like, before we were even pregnant. But the middle name took longer. Hubby said that since I was the one MAKING the child, the middle name was all up to me. So I decided that Grace Amelia was just about the prettiest name ever, and the decision was made --until hubby's much-loved grandmother died two months before our daughter was born. And then hubby kept hinting that maybe Elizabeth (after his grandma) would be a good middle name. I couldn't decide. Amelia was so pretty, but Elizabeth was so meaningful. Then, on the day she was born, as they handed us the forms to fill out and had yet to make a decision, my husband looks at me and says: "she could have two middle names, right?" Why not? So, Grace Amelia Elizabeth she is.
Denice, that's lovely -- what a great compromise! And it's a great story for your daughter to tell people when she gets older.
My husband rolled his eyes at just about every suggestion I made, generally citing examples of people he knew with those names and why he could never have a child with that name. The best response was "no, I knew a kid with that name - he was really sickly looking." And when I checked with my m-i-l I was told this child was never sickly, but was just very fair skinned. aie.
We finally came down to two names, both fairly unusual, and spent 2 days after our son was born debating which one to choose. Kiernan won out and we're thrilled with it now but I dread going through the process again.
Good luck! I totally understand wanting to decide NOW NOW NOW!
We didn't decide with either baby, until hours before we left the hospital with them, and had to fill out the birth certificates. Sometimes babies come out looking like they don't belong to the name you picked out. (You can't name a baby who LOOKS like a Kathryn, Suzie, etc.)
even though i don't even have any seed-planting prospects at the moment, and i don't want to for at least another two years, i fight with myself on a biweekly basis over what to name my future children.
Congratulations!! It's April 10th and while I can't speak for the U.S. your book has been released at Chapters in Canada. Yeah!! Mine did not arrive in the mail today but I trust it will be here soon.
Woo Hoo for you!!
Billie
I always practiced names as if my child were introducing themselves as adults shaking hands with someone.
Does it sound too cutesie? Strong? Will he be taken seriously? ugh!
Naming a child was one of the toughest parts about pregnancy for me. It's a huge responsibility.
For my second son I wanted a name that embodied my father's spirit. He was a true Mountain man and still is. I decided Carsen (after Kit Carson) was the name.
Good luck. Archer is a tough act to follow
Like most people, our first son's name was meticulously researched, had to sound good in both English and Turkish, and we both loved it (Arda, name of a river in Europe and something about an Ottoman emperor's staff for the places he conquered - we just liked the river name).
For our second son's name, we, too, thought it had to be unique, but by then, we had moved from NYC back to Istanbul, so we forgot (yeah, really) about the "sounding OK in English" part, so we named him after another river, one that actually stems from Arda river, and he is called Tunca (toon- jah), and everyone in the US calls him Tonka.
Now, MY name has a strange story - my mom named me Alev Demet (Flame Bouquet - don't even ask!) at the hospital, but three days later upon meeting a friend's 2 year old very sweet daughter, changed my name to Zeynep (very Turkish name, means jewels or precious stones or similar). So when looking at hospital records, my name is very different from my birth certificate (she went to the records office and said she gave birth at home. yes, she is wonderful like that. very resourceful. not weird :)
I guess I had it easy on the whole name subject because I didn't have to ok it with anyone. I had my son on my own, and after 7 years we are still doing great. :) I went into the hospital with a list of names, not really sure which would be the right one. There were Jackson, Zane, Augustus, Joseph, Caleb, and a few others (I still have the list in my "momentos" somewhere).
Minutes after my son was born, the doc asked me what the baby's name was. I said, "Theodore Andrew." Neither of those names had been on my list, but that name must have been meant to be. It certainly fits him. He usually goes by Teddy, but some days when he feels more grown up he asks to be called "just Ted." :)
Well, after my mom named me (Kara) she found out my dad had an ex-girlfriend by that name. LOVELY.
My husband and I don't even have kids yet and we already have names picked out. I refuse to tell any of my friends, because I love the names and don't want to hear if someone else doesn't.
BTW I just received Rockabye, read the first chapter, and am already in love. I can't wait to finish it!
Go check out the Name Voyager at babynamewizard.com and the social security administration's online name database at ssa.gov. You'll see the ebb and flow in popularity of names over time. Very good sites.
We were in agreement on our boys, Joe and Hank, because we both like "lunchpail" names for boys. We got more creative on their middle names (Barrett and Atticus). We never agreed on our girl's name. Elizabeth is my favorite name in the world and since I was the one giving birth, I forced his hand. Elizabeth she is.
Our two older kids came named (adopted as older kids) - but one of their names is also one of my favorites: Xavier.
Bring up this subject again. People looooooove to talk baby names.
Totally off the naming topic, but I love the cartoon effect that you did with the photo in this blog! How do you do that????
With my son, we had a hard time. I'd come up with names, my husband would shoot them down one by one. He was sold on Lincoln and wanted to hear nothing else. His only concession was "Walter." (I finally gave in on Lincoln.)
Our daughter was never a question. I'd always wanted to name my daughter after the author of one of the best books ever written, and my husband loved it too, so our daughter is named Harper Lee.
So we both got our way.
Rebecca, I just opened Rockabye! Haven't read anything yet, but had to tell you.
As an aspiring, sometimes writer, I am so beyond proud and excited for you.
-Amber
Okay, I finished the book about 10 pm last night after opening it at 7. I couldn't put it down. You are so talented. I think I might have a writer crush on you!
You have too many comments for me to look and see if someone else suggested this,
but have you been to www.nymbler.com ? It's a naming site. You enter your favorite names (ie. Archer and Colette) and it gives you hundreds of names that would be nice sounding siblings. I took the liberty of entering your children's names and there are quite a few interesting ones, like Upton, Ellison, Mercer, and Pryor. I love the name Mercy for a girl.
Anyway, you should check it out.
I'm off to go buy your book.
:) Ta ta!
We had a boys and girls named picked out right away for our first. With each child, it became harder and harder to pick a girls name (we still had the boys name)! I think now, if we went for a fourth, it would take forever to pick a name.
Coincadentally, I have a friend whose last 4 kids have left eh hospital un-named. It usually took her 3-4 days after they were born to be named. And in once case, she switched the name numerous times.
I tried to baby-proof my home but they got in anyway.
BECCA!
I just finished your book, and I wanted you to know how awesome I thought it was. I'm passing it on to my mother immediately.
Classics worked for me, um I mean us! Go with a theme, trust me it sounds better when there are more then 1 and they are all over the place. We did classic first names modern middle! So cute I think.
I just recently found your site adn I love it!..
I know this post is "old" now since you've already posted again, but I had to chime in with my children's names.
My first born EVERYONE kept saying it was going to be a boy it was just that "vibe" they had. Me? I always knew she was going to be a girl (we never got a clear shot during and ultrasound and were left guessing until she was born early at 34 wks). The name I chose for her was Kaia, it's a Hawaiian name but you can find variations of it in almost any culture. I chose it because if my mother hadn't been adopted at age 3 already knowing her name my grandparents were going to name her that. They were stationed in hawaii for almost 20 yrs while my grandfather was in the navy and it is a name they loved. I never gave my husband the option I always knew that would be her name.Her full name is Kaia Alyse (husbands family is french and it's a family name) Virginia for my grandmother. So Kaia Alyse Virginia she is. We never did agree on middle names, can you tell?
My second child a boy is named Cole. My husband and I named the day after we found out it was a boy. I've always loved the name and it just seemed to "fit". His full name is Cole Anthony (my brothers name) Robert (his dad). We also couldn't agree on middle names for him either.
Good luck on naming him/her!
Sorry for the book, I can get rather long winded..which is why I don't comment much if at all!!
My mother's name is Maja, which was her father's name Mac and her mother's name Jane put together. They named me Sonja, and when it came to my son's name I chose Jackson because it had all the letters of my name in it and was also my grandfather's name. I picked this name back when I was 15 and didn't have anything else to think about AND apparently when every other girl my age say Steel Magnolias and fell in love with Julia Robert's son Jackson. I COULD not believe how many people named their son Jackson last year!! It was unbelievable - but I wouldn't change it. I'm betting that half of them will shorten it to Jack and there's no way many of them can say it has the letters of their name in it - unless their name is Jason or .....Sock!?!
Our girl name for our daughter was going to be Fiona Mathea, but after a trusted friend said it was a mouthful, we switched to Alison Mathea (both family names). the boy name was going to be William James or William Duncan. Luckily, or at least we think luckily, we don't have to pick another girl name because for 16 weeks we never found one that we both liked. William James are both family names as well.
The comic look is from ComicLife, a program that comes standard on MacBooks and MacBook Pros... xo!
I have two girls. The oldest (10) is named Riley. At the time I was pregnant I had never heard of any one with the name. I came upon it in the 'boy' section of a baby name book and thought it was unique, but not fucking ridiculous. Her middle name is a combo of my sisters' manes. My second daughter is called Emerson, her middle name is her father's middle name (but the name he goes by). My decisions were confirmed when after informing my father of the chosen names (respectively) I was lectured on how they were inappropriate (love you dad!)
I do slightly regret Riley's name now, as it has become too common I fear. But I am still quite in love with Em's name.
Great book that has a chapter on baby names. Freakonomics. Very interesting. If I had another girl now I'd go with Mazzy or Nooni. Boys names, to me, are much harder. Girls can pull off 'offbeat' names much easier than boys in my exp.
Ok so I'm a couple days behind here. Having no children of my own yet (only cats - which I name after various alcohols and cocktails) and not having come up with any names in my early youth, I have only the following anecdote to offer.
My husband has a close friend who moved to Israel a few years ago. When they had their first child last year, the did not name him right away. They said they wanted to get to know him first. So well all waited and waited and waited and about 4-5 days after he was born we finally got the e-mail telling us they'd gotten a pretty good handle on his personality and they'd settled on Zebulun. After waiting all that time to hear the name, honestly we felt a little deflated for the kid. Ok, so that's one of Jacob and Leah's sons. And I'm sure it works fine while they live in Jeruselem, I worry about what happens if/when they come back stateside. Also they call him Zeb, which makes me picture someone from Appalachia in overalls with no shirt, a banjo, and a spitoon, in need of dental care.
We had a hard time coming up with a boy's name, it took quite a while. Girl names have been easier. But then my husband's last name rhymes with a naughty anatomical feature of the male persuasion so right off the bat names like Tom, Dick and Harry were off the board. And if you're at all as creative as most junior high kids a whole bunch of other names had to go too.
(Damnit, I love the name Harrison.)
We had a boy name quite easily for our first (we both said our favourite first name, and what would you know, it matched; we agreed to make the middle name mine, which was also my father's and his father's). The girl name was something we struggled with, although ultimately we were happy with the result, the only family connection (something important to us) is that she shares my initials.
Now, with #2 expected in October, we've tabled the name discussion until 18 weeks, when we (hope to) find out the gender (we're finding out this time to make preparing our daughter for it easier -- she is convinced it's a sister).
Although sadly, from preliminary discussions, it seems like Augustus (my penultimate choice) is still off the table.
Okay, so kidless here, but contemplating the possibility in the next couple of years, and I have definitely been thinking about names since I can remember...
In my husband's family, all male children take their father's first name as their middle name. So. That means, like it or not, our firstborn male child will have a middle name of Aaron. I actually love the name, but do you know how hard it is to get a nice name to go with Aaron as a middle name?? My favorite first name for a boy is Alexander (Alex), but I don't really like how it sounds as Alexander Aaron. Oh well. I've got some time to think about this.
For girls, we don't have any "prerequisites" to follow, but my late great-grandmother was Ava Marie. I've *always* loved that name, but now? It's FAR too common, and that makes me sad, but I also don't want my daughter to be one of 6 kids in her class with the name Ava, either. Grrrr...I might end up going with Ava Katherine (Katherine after my paternal grandmother), but I also like Madison Marie. (I know, another common one. We'll see.)
I wanted three letters, and was on a Minor Threat kick when I found out I was pregnant. Ian was THE NAME. Gray as a middle name, after the (hypothetical) boy's father. I found out she was a girl. We deliberated and fought and I got vetoed more than once, vetoed Petra (his choice) but kept Lotus as a middle name. Then he asked how I felt about Aya Lotus. I thought it was nice. Our daughter was named such, and I was told that the name was from a video game (parasite eve) when she was 6 months old. My sister in law and her boyfriend asked my husband if that was where he got it, in front of me. My husband smiled- he told on himself- but I guess that I don't care anymore because Aya? Is totally who she is
Archer was on our list! But with my mom's red hair and my husband's red beard I was kind of scared of a red-headed Archie.
We got all cutesy-barf and combined our names Bill + Jen = Ben. Benjamin is crazy common so we came up with Benson and figured we'd call him Ben, but he's just a Benson.
I think there's something to really feelin' the name. We were in debate on the girls name with #1 and solid on the boy's name - and he's a boy. With this pregnancy, we came to agreement on one gender (like we could both live with it) but are SO FEELIN' the other gender's name and it turned out to be that gender. I think the instinct is a powerful thing and more reliable than trick-playing ultrasound pics! ;)
PS, Any opinions on "Willis"? For our next, my husband really wants some kind of Bill part deux, but I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE Willis but everyone is telling me it's horrible and will come with years of "what-you-talkin-bout" type jokes. Maybe from loser adults, but are kids still watchign Diffrent Strokes?!
Think twice about using "Colette", "collect some rubbish" or "give us some cornettos" were the taunts i heard in the playground and the stupidest thing is that over a decade later i still remember them.
I know this is an old post but I thought you would be interested in this site: http://www.nymbler.com/
You put in names that you love as inspirations and it will give you suggestions from them. It's my new obsession and I'm not even pregnant yet! For our second we love Miles Kelly for a boy and Harper Mae for a girl.
Griffin is our firstborn. It's a family name and not in the Top 200, which was really important to me because I'm a Jennifer. Born in 1980.
Boy: jackson (not inspired by some movie, as a poster earlier commented).
Girl: emily
neither of them racially identifiable, hard to pronounce or spell. can be shortened if they so desire, and the evil rhyming factor is fairly low.
The Hubby and I had our kids names picked out since the beginning of our relationship. We had names we absolutely loved... and back ups.
We named our daughter Alyssa Nicolette.
And our son Isaiah Alexander.
NOW expecting our third child (second little girl) we're naming her Katelyn Isabella. :)
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