For this GGC, there is no longer titty-flashing all-nighters up in this piece (new OR improved.) This a modern world and stay at home parents are frequently frowned upon by former co-working career peeps and urbanites. Baby-rearing in Hollywood may be cool but only when you can leave your kids with eight nannies and continue traveling the world saving orphans. (GGC cannot pull this off.)
It's called SAHPotage, people... Stay at Home Parents, this one's for you. Thanks to Metrodad for the inspiration and The Beastie Boys for the OG version
SAHPotage
There are days I just can't stand it. Don't want to handle it
I'm talkin' to the dogs like they could understand it.
No adult conversation, I'm at the station (gas)
Making friends with the pump, giving out my information
I meet tonsa baby's mammas, bitches s'posed to be my peers.
But when I ask what they be reading, they's like, "Only Doctor Sears!"
Mommy Movies, Trader Joes, making convo at the park
Coveting Maclaren's stroller, the one designed by Philippe Starck.
"Can't you talk anything but poop?" Time to take out the garbaaaage
I'm Tellin' All Y'all It's SAHPotage
So Listen Up 'Cause You Can't Say Nothin smartAnd (for real) neither can I so I really shouldn't start
I remember the days when I be all about good talkin
Philosophy and lit replaced with, "look! he's almost walkin!"
Back in the BB* days I was like "Fuck yeah! Let's get crazy!!!"
Now the ideal night is like, "Heck yes! Let's be lazy."(Burp)
Come 11pm I'm Out And I'm Gone
Those all-nighters of my past? I Dream On And On
You're Scheming On A Thing That's A Mirage
These days it has a name and It's SAHPotage
Listen All Of Y'all It's A SAHPotage
Listen All Of Y'all It's A SAHPotage
Listen All Of Y'all It's A SAHPotage
Listen All Of Y'all It's A SAHPotage
I Can't Stand It, I know you planned it
But I'm tired of the hype, this stereo-type
You looking at me sideways like this shit is fuckin' easy
SAHParenting, cooking, cleaning, blogging, working a day job, working on a novel, freelancing, writing raps... FO SHEEEEEZY!
Because I Feel Disgrace Because You're All up In My Face
But Make No Mistakes And Switch Up My Channel
I don't watch no Oprah and I don't wear no flannel.
Don't ask me why I'm crying, I need a foot massage!You think I just talk baby? - That's SAHPotage
GGC
Word to the Mothaz...
*Before Baby
Wanna read more YO GGC Rapz? See sidebar. Wrecka, wrecka.
22 comments:
Hi!
I Like the Pictures!!!
Oh. My. God.
That was AWESOME.
I seriously believe you should have your very own tv show. I mean that. Because you just be one of the most original, hilariously-honest bloggers I've ever encountered. You absolutely kick ass. I love it.
"I don't watch no Oprah and I don't wear no flannel."
Amen.
You know I love it when you rhyme, GGC. One day, we've got to get you into the studio so you can lay these down over some real beats. THAT might be the kid's music record to end all kid's records.
In other news, Mike D of the Beasties moved in near us and I see him at the playground with his kid almost every day. How weird is that?
Thanks for the mad love!!! I'm working on a top-secret You Tube extravaganza. For realsies. Stay tuned.
MD- Mike D? THAT is way cooler than living down the street from Scary Spice. She's so 90's.
I was sitting here with a big dumb-assed grin on my face throughout.
Brilliant.
I worship at your feet.
I HATE the folks that look at me funny when I tell them I am a single SAHM of 4 kids. Like I sit around eating bon-bons all day. Don't #$@#^&$ing look at me like that until you have walked a minute in my shoes!
Writing keeps me sane.
this is the kinda shit that makes me covet your everything. i heart you and i second the your-own-tv-show call. wrecka wrecka, indeed.
Another GGC classic...
pure genius!
Wow. I can't believe how awesome that was... how do you do it?
This is my favorite rap so far!
I feel that you should put together an album. We need to be able to have these ON A CD.
I loooooooove it when you do these raps.
You rock! One of my favorite Beastie's songs too.
Thanks for the laugh!
"I remember the days when I be all about good talkin
Philosophy and lit replaced with, "look! he's almost walkin!'"
It's like you live in my head--only I don't tend to have much rap in it.
You, my friend, have a GIFT! True dat!
LOL
now dats some true mommy style gangsta shizzle my mizzle.
brilliant
This is the coolest rap ever! LOL!
Love it. It's right up there with the Apple Juice in my books.
How can you make money off these? Seriously. If there's a career in this somehow, you should be the highest paid employee.
That was awesome! I'm so bored with the moms in my playgroup. How many hours a day can we talk about freaking sippy cups?!
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