This is for you, Dad:
I Like Clean Butts
rapped to the beat of Sir Mixalot's Vintage Classic
I like clean butts and I cannot lie
You other mamas can't deny
When your kid walks in with his huggies in a bunch
from a pile of digested lunch
You get ready
Wanna pull up tough cuz you notice that butt is sweaty
Deep in the onesie he's wearing
You love him so you don't mind tearing
off his diaper, cuz you want to make it clean-a
baby powder on da wien-a
My homegirls tried to tell me
That that butt you got gets awful smelly
Oooh rump of smooth skin
Please don't pee on me agin
Cuz, baby, baby, I aint that kind of lady
I've seen him crawling
Actually it's more like falling
But he tries. cries. no ifs ands butts(ha!) or whys.
So Mama? (yeah!) Dada? (yeah)
Does your kid have a loaded butt? (hell yeah!)
Well then, change it, change it, change it, change it, change that stinky butt
My Baby's got...
(Sweet smelling face with an odorous booty. wreck.wreck. wrecka.wrecka.wreck. wreck.)
GGC
17 comments:
I would respond but i am too busy cleaning off the saliva that just landed on my monitor from reading this whilst drinking water....
Love it! Also love the illustration of Fred Savage as gangsta rapper baby.
YOYO pretty mama. That rap rocks.
Oh my gosh, that is the funniest thing I have ever seen! And that is my favorite song of allllll time! Yours and, of course, the original ("Baby Got Back"). My friends make fun of me for knowing all the lyrics. You are hilarious! That is talent... let me tell you! You need to get a record out there... you'd make millions! Love ya!
Word up, my righteous sister. Now you just have to get BMC's Boyband to beat-box for ya, and you're good to go...
That was AWESOME.
very cute - maybe you've found your true calling in life! :)
gosh. wouldn't that be awesome? rapping about poop day after day. A girl can only dream...
If K-Fed can do it, you can too, GGC. Fo' shizz.
That's my girl!
Taking after your big daddy rapper and yo mama, the candy rapper.
Better than the crap you wrote about yesterday. Ha Ha.
Love-Dad
found you through Jess's blog. I like Big Butts is my husband's ring on his cell phone so you got love a baby version. Gots to go clean my baby's business!
omg.....you so didn't say that sir mixalot is vintage. i know i just turned 30, but now i'm gonna cry.
cute post, next we need something from tupac in the name of "shorty gonna be a thug"
Stefanie- your husband is my hero.
Jenni- Everything older than five years is considered vintage. Isn't that weird? I just had this discussion with a stylist. Mothers, take note. Your closet full of old shit = your vintage collection. Viola. The cure for the shop-deprived poop-slave.
Dad- Thanks. Just waiting for you to start a blog about Physics so you can rap about electromagnetism. THAT would be sweeeeet, dude.
K, I just noticed this linkk from Feb in your side bar. Hilarious! My hubby raps the original version to our son and it's the only thing that makes him bust up in laughter!
Oh how I love you. that is hilarious.
H I L A R I O U S!!! I am singing it in my head!
Good lord, that was hilarious. I cracked up out loud and then remembered that, oops I am at work and should be actually WORKING instead of fucking around. I love your writing. I hope I can be have as cool as you if I ever become a mom.
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